Resume blunders

~ “I am great with the pubic.”
~ A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com
~ One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.
~ Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
~ “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border” (there's standing out, and there's the patently ridiculous)

From Ask Annie

~ “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”

Yahoo Hot Jobs

~ “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
~ “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
~ “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
~ “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
~ “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
~ “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
~ “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”

Humour Matters.com

~ Interests: “Gossiping.”
~ Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.” (This sounds like one I could use....)
~ Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.” (hmmm)
~ Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
~ Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
~ Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
~ Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
~ Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”

~ References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
~ Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.”
~ Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
~ Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.” (Hmmm, while consulting?)
~ Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.” (Doing tequila body shots by the sounds of it)
~ Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
~ Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”

Resumania’s Archive:

JobMob Top 10

1. Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.” (Resumania)
2. A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages” (Ask Annie’s)
3. Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).” (Resumania)
4. In the section that read “Emergency Contact Number” she wrote “911.” (Ask Annie’s)
5. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager’s gift. (Careerbuilder.com)
6. Languages: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.” (Resumania)
7. “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.” (ResumePower.com)
8. On one of our applications, a girl wrote ” I’m 16, I’m pregnant and I can do anything.” At the same time she turned in her application, her boyfriend handed in his. On his: “Felony for breaking and entering.” (Ask Annie’s)
9. “One candidate included clipart on their resume of two cartoons shaking hands.” (Ask Annie’s)
10. Application: “On the line that asked what “sex” he was, he wrote “occassionally”.” (Ask Annie’s)