M thinks we need one of these

I wonder where you buy these, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Yes, and I think he should get nicked.

Ok no not really.

I can't remember if I told this story, but one night as he was getting into bed, he seriously ran and got the tape measure to prove I was on his side. (I wasn't)
BUT, admittedly, I was RIGHT ON THE LINE. Hahahaha

M has begun the journey of our move. He flew out yesterday morning for the rest of the working week. He'll be living in the hotel down there, which is quite nice apparently. He flies home Friday night for the weekend, and will go back down Monday.

And so begins, yet more nights alone. I hate it hate it hate it. I slept badly last night, and ended up having this weird and freaky dream that an ex-workmate was suddenly the daughter of the people that ran the tennis centre up the road where I got lessons when I was 15.

Hmm. Odd. I don't even want to imagine what this all means for my psyche.

Out unit is on the rental market, another step carrying us away from Sydney. Its starting to all feel very much in motion! The removalists are coming on Friday morning to quote us on packing and shipping all our belongings (paid for by the company yippeee!)

So, yes, its eventful.

Horror movie right there in my.....brain

(In case the song lyric is a bit too obscure for you.....)
I had awful dreams last night. It was like my brain was determined to scare the crap out of me. I think it stemmed from two things.

A_Right before we went to bed, M showed me a text message he got on his phone, a creepy hoax forward thing "we're watching you, pay us or die" VERY FREAKY
B_I went to the gym in the evening, and I hate walking around at night by myself. I convince myself that I'm going to be attacked by a random stranger and spend the 3 minutes it takes me to walk back up the hill, freaking out and walking quickly whilst looking over my shoulder. This is worse on some days than others, and yesterday I happened to notice two guys sitting in a parked car. This is all it takes to set me off. Normally I can rationalise to myself that I have a fighting chance when its 1 on 1, but 2 on 1, odds are not so good. So you can see where my brains going here.

Obviously got home without incident, but the added layer of worry with the weird text message on M's phone meant for some strange dreams.

My first dream (that I remember) I was at a house party, and there were about six girls (I think some were old primary school friends LOL) and we decided to watch a movie. I think I protested that I didn't want to watch a horror movie, but they assured me it wasn't that scary. As the film progressed however, it most certainly WAS a horror movie, with an awful plot, and the scenery looked like the house in Hostel, if you've seen it. Since I was dreaming I felt like I was IN the horror movie as well, eventually to the point of someone's face melting in my hands.
I think at this point I was so freaked out mentally, I told my brain I didn't want to watch the movie anymore (in the dream). I think this was my initial attempt to "tell myself to wake up" except I've never been very good at that in dreams.
So Dream-me tells my friends I'm not wtching anymore, and the horror movie morphs into the "main" part of the dream, and its all bad and the girl I'm sitting with tries to kill me before I run screaming, and at this point I successfully manage to tell my conscious brain that I want to wake up, I don't like this dream. So I did, and I was kind of groggy, but I could tell it was early enough that if I wasn't careful and I woke up TOO much, I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep for the few hours until I needed to get up.

The problem with this was though, that everytime I tried to go back to sleep the dream would come back, in the middle of the awfulness, so I tried to think of happy thoughts to distract myself. I particularly remember singing that Colbie Calait song "Bubbly" in my head and seeing the video, which is pretty and romantic, and light and sunny.
This ended up with me imagining a serial killer standing behind Colbie Calait slitting her throat.
I know, charming isn't it.
I think there was lots of stabbing and acid and burning and screaming in this dream, I was feeling quite terrified at the idea of slipping back into it.

M ended up getting up sometime around then, so I woke myself up properly and focused on the sounds of him, which allowed me to drift bak to sleep without the terrible images of singers being gutted.

Cue second dream. This one feels like a Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter movie rolled together, very fantastic and otherworldly. Vivid colour, lots of green, whereas the last dream was all brown, sepia and dank feeling. Somehow I manage to piss off an ogre thing and he spends the rest of the movie trying to get me, before trying to drown me in this giant lake.
Then I wake up and think "wtf" I'm getting up now, I don't care WHAT time it is.

So feeling a little mentlly exhausted now, which explains why I forgot to bring something to work that a friend was going to pick up. Gah!

Weird Dreams (again)

Sometimes I'm amazed by what the mind conjures up whilst dreaming. I like to try and figure out where my dreams come from, because sometimes I think they're really obvious when you look through your life, you can peice together the influences.

I had this really weird dream this morning/last night....

For some reason I was at some sort of event where there was a sausage sizzle, but I didn't have one, and when I left, I caught a train to Chatswood Station. When I got there I was searching madly for a sausage sizzle* stand. Chatswood station didn't look normal though, they're currently upgrading it so in my dream it was really new and sort of space age, and HUGE. Like imagine a huge domed roof made of either glass or pale blue glazed tiles with white tubular supports, and there was sort of a mezzanine level around the bottom edges of the dome. There were a million people milling around, and it wasn't just a station, it was also an airport. It had the buzz of an airport also.

So I was looking for the sausage sizzle stand, when I glance out the window (at what should be, by rights, Victoria Mall) and there is a plane, larger than life through the glass, in a nose dive; it was almost vertical, and it slams into the ground, nose first and sort of crumples at the tip. (I remember thinking, in the dream, "oh yes, its falling like that because its empty, if it had freight or passengers it wouldn't be so vertical..."-I don't even think this is true, but it made complete sense in my dream)

So there was a shudder through the ground, and a few people fall down, and subconsciously I figure I need to get away from the area and started running toward the exit (which is Railway Street, which is the only completed section of the refurbished Station I've seen, so my brain has constructed this entire new station from looking at the new entrance) and then the aftershock(?) hits as I'm running away, and there's a blast as everyone is knocked off their feet by the impact, and I remember seeing the little floor tiles exploding as the dirt/earth sort of radiated away from the impact zone.

I think I woke up after this, as I can't remember anymore.
So weird.

*I LOVE sausage sizzles, which could be a reason they feature in my dreams.

More weird dreams

Ok so yesterday I had this weird dream where I was at one of M's football games and it was getting dark and when the game finished for some reason the lights went off and so me and all the spectators were sitting there in the dark until; the players came out of the dressing sheds again..... weird in itself, and just as I was sort of waking up I decided to go to the bar and get more drinks, and for myself I got either 2 or 4 drinks (massive pisshead, even in my dreams clearly) and for M I got two beers, and then I think his alarm went off, and my brain incorporated it and I thought "oh no, he's not going to have time to drink those two beers" I tried to explain this to him as he left for work but strangely enough he didn't find it as vexing as I did. He said something about virtual beers, like in Facebook. *shrug*

Last week I had a horrible dream that M and I were seperating (I specifically remember this being the term used). I think I heard M say "I'm Leaving" as in he was going to work, and my brain took that sentence and ran with it. That was awful really, as I felt conscious and like I was thinking, I had an internal monologue happening. I woke feeling relieved this was not the case. I hesitated to tell M right away though, as I didn't want him to think I was using my dreaming time to fantasise about getting divorced.

So this morning I dreamt we had had a baby! Literally woke up one morning, went to the doctor and discovered I was pregnant and gave birth. {actually, maybe this is a subconcious hope that I haven't gained weight from over-eating, I'm simply pregnant. Hmmm, think about it.....} Anyway, my dreams lately have been incredibly vivid. For example I can still feel the vomit on my face from the baby puking all over me. I wanted to highlight this as it wasn't like I was dreaming of babies and bunnies and rattles and fun.
I still have a residual feeling of awe though. Its amazing really what the brain can conjure without any prior experience. Having not yet had children, I can't actually draw on experience for a dream like this, and yet it felt quite real, and I really felt immersed in a realisitic way, not in the emotional caricature you can sometimes experience when dreaming about quite foreign things.

I actually woke from this one slightly disappointed it wasn't real.

Skiing, terror and underpants

I had the bizarrest dream last night.
We were going to the snow, (something that has been on my mind this ski season, we'd have gone if we could afford it) and it was a last minute thing, we just decided to go. And for some reason I travelled down seperately to Mark, and we were going to meet down there. So I get off the bus that I'd caught, and had no idea where to go, but got there in the end and trudged off in the snow to find our lodge, or whatever.
So I think I'm lugging Skis, or something huge and heavy around, and I get to our lodgings and we're on like the 8th floor or something. Which is fine, except that the stair case is on the outside of the building, bigger than a fire escape, but with the snow all coming in and the floor was just like a metal grate, and it was slippery cos there was snow all over it, and the higher I climbed up to our room the more terrified I got as I was high up, I could see through the floor (one of my pet hates when I start reaching height-or if I'm over water) it was slippery (I may have fallen over) and on my way up Leigh and Dad pass me on the stairs and are all "whats the hold up" as you do. Dad almost hoisted me over his shoulder fireman style except that I was even more terrified at the thought of being dropped over the side of the balcony/staircase thing.
So I eventually get all the way to the top, and for some inexplicable reason someone else had packed my bag for me at home, and in the bag (which someone else was also unpacking? What am I-an invalid?) was this new set of knickers and bra which I really did buy just the other day from Big W, nothing exciting, but when the person unpacked them I said "oh did Mark see them?" and the person said yes, and I was filled with immense disappointment as I'd been saving them.....
LOL
And then I woke up. It was so bizarre!!

Weirdest Dream ever

Had the most bizarre dream last night, full of bugs and creepy crawlies, and also a wedding, and a boating accident. By boating I mean canoeing.
So the fragments I remember, there was an Indian wedding at mum's house, and they were getting married sort of over the pool, and there was a big archway thing and dancing and it was a bit Bollywood, floating things in the pool and people sort of coming over the fence near the clothesline and we were sitting down behind the fence at the corner of the house (weird) where the hotwater system is and I was regretting not having my own wedding over our pool! LOL. But even in my dream state I was like "Oh...but even if we'd had it here, I wouldn't have known how to make it look like this!..." And I kept changing outfits.....

And then later in the dream I was going canoeing with T.o.m and I think I fell in the water or something he found very funny cos he was laughing at me.

Lastly there was this whole sequence of events where my bedroom (not really my room as you imagine, some sort of plantation house, *just finished book set in Louisiana so I'm assuming that where this part is coming from...* and it had snakes all over the ceiling and giant shelled bugs crawling up the walls and Mark was trying to calm me down and say it really wasn't that bad....

Freaky freaky stuff.... *shiver*

Sleep! Who needs sleep!

I had the worst night's sleep last night. And when I did sleep, it was peppered with these weird wedding dreams. One of my dreams was that it was the morning of the wedding and we were all having hair and makeup done and it was the worst weather, pouring rain and slate gray skies, no hope of it clearing. So everyone's having makeup and hair done and I'm sitting there waiting and suddenly it;s like 11.30 and the photographers arrived and I haven't had anything done and he's at home and I'm not.....

I realised I was awake at one stage, awake and sort of tossing around, and my brain was absolutely racing with wedding crap, none of which I remember at all this morning, so I hope I didn't think I was solving the problems of the world at the time. It was like 3.30 or something and I do remember thinking, great, I was trying to get good sleep before the wedding so I don't look like some sort of hung over sleep deprived mess, and I'm lying awake. Bah.

The other dream I had was this bizarre psuedo world and I somehow was in this Coles-type store, except I was just standing there, a customer I think, and this guy asked me to get behind the counter and serve and I was pulling out this weird cigarette type clear drawers, and selling cigarettes and Nurtimetics makeup brushes. And the sky was some sort of weird lilac colour or something. It was all very strange.

Dreams

I had the funniest dream last night. I think it was particularly hilarious as it highlights my obvious anxiety about the wedding. Call me crazy but that's funny....

Anyway, so it was like real life, as you do, and I had done as much wedding prep as I've currently done. Ie, some but not a lot set in stone. The problem being, that instead of getting married in less than 160 days, I was getting married in like 2 hours. Hahaha. So wedding day dawns and the bridesmaids are all running around like headless chooks, (somehow Erica was back in Oz) with vaguely dark Purple looking dresses, but not the ones we're having made! I had about half a dress I think and the BM's were all doing their own makeup and hair, when I had the brainwave that we would all go down to Myer and the girls could have their makeup done at like the Clinque counter etc, except that when I went to go in they were closing so i couldn't get my Makeup done! I also toyed with the idea of having it done by the Napolean counter but discounted them when I thought they were going to make me fuschia and electric blue. And somehow I ran into Jess in the shopping centre toilets and she was only half dressed and I was going out of my mind!!!!

It was so distressing while I was in the dream, but as soon as I woke up I realised it wasn't really happening and after I calmed down I thought it was so funny. One of the things I found funniest was the notion that one day I woke up and after telling people that it was fine and we had lots of time, we suddenly had no time at all. Hahahaha.