That asshole in your rearview mirror might just be me

I'm quite an aggressive driver. I know this, but don't try to tell me, its embarrassing enough knowing it myself without others pointing it out.

Its not that I'm road raging all the time, but I have a tendency to be impatient, especially when I'm running late, which is often. I have been known to beep my horn on occasion, but I draw the line at screaming at someone out my window. That kind of shit gets you arrested.
I have been known to be the person zooming down the lane that is about to run out, but only if I'm really pressed for time so I don't feel guilty about doing it. When I'm not late, I make the effort to sit in the other lanes (I always sit in the lane that won't have people merge into it at all), trying not to fume, and I tell myself "they might have a sick relative they're rushing to get to".

I always wonder if other people on the road are aware of "the rest of us".

An example from this morning. The majority of my journey is on a four lane road (2 each way). There are technically kerbside lanes also but they're full of parked cars, so useless for driving on.

Today there were two cars driving almost parallel with each other, leaving no room to pass either of them, frustrating the hell out of literally every car behind them!

And I'm positive they didn't know each other, different ages, different nationalities, I think they were honestly oblivious to the rest of the traffic trying to co-exist with them.

It drives me nuts!

I kind of hate it too, as I recognise I'm doing it. Almost every morning for the last three weeks I have thought about this post, starting it in my head. Think about that.

Almost every morning for the last three weeks, at some point in my journey to work, I have thought, "I am an aggressive driver". That's so depressing. All that wasted energy.

For a while I drove the back way to and from work, not because it was quicker, it isn't. But because its pretty, the view is nicer, and everyone is just ambling along. Its all one lane, so no passing, but that helps me chill out a bit more. And if I'm not hooning around, and someone is sitting on my tail, I think to myself, "this isn't the faster way, if you wanted to hoon you should have gone the main road" so I don't feel guilty about sitting on 55 km/h (still technically speeding in a 50 zone anyway!)

My most shameful driving incident to date, was a few weeks ago. I had just left work, didn't have a good day, so already on the wrong foot.

I've done a diagram to explain it better. I'm in the Pink car (of course)

So I was approaching the traffic lights, and just as they went green, the car in front of me (blue) stopped to allow a car from the side street (purple)to ease into the traffic. I was immediately pissed off as in my experience, whenever that happens, both the cars in front of me will make it through the lights, but I won't*.

And that's exactly what happened, I only just missed the green light.

So what did I do?

What every rational person does of course, I leaned on my horn, repeatedly, to express my frustration as the car drove through the lights and off into the sunset. I was that frustrated I could have cried (and nearly did). I may have kind of screamed at myself. (With all the windows up)

It was absolutely ridiculous!

I felt like an utter twit after I'd calmed down, the light changed again and I drove away, the rest of the journey incident free. To exacerbate matters, M was away on business for the night so where I would normally come home, have a vent and a hug, and felt ten times better, there was just our empty house and my ridiculous temper tantrum to keep me company.

*(not without running a RED light, which for all my law breaking, I don't do, even when very annoyed)

Why care What Not To Wear

I don't watch "What not to wear" by Trinny and Susannah. I'll say that first off.

What I don't understand though, if why ANYONE would listen to them, as they go out themselves in some atrocious gear!
1 ~ Perfectly nice grey suit, if a little too flared in the pant, but with a PRINT DRESS over the top!
Green dress over white shirt. Not the end of the world, but just not neccessary!
2 ~ Solo Trinny, in her best impersonation of an Irish Tablecloth. See here for larger image. You'll also find the green is sequinned!
3 ~ I think this is meant to be a promo image. As such, I can only assume that Trinny is "What NOT, and Susannah is "What TO". Honestly, I love hot pink more than most, but even I don't go around shoving it under leopard print and expect a good result! Susannah is making her look like a teenager run amok in Supre.

4 ~ These are all the wonder full Trinny. Playing Beattie Bow??
5 ~ A taffeta creation, in a homage to M*A*S*H- for that formal event in the Mess Hall. Leave your weapons at the door; they ruin the line of the gown.
6 ~ Red sack? Hey, its ok, we all have fat days sometimes.

*Scream* Get them off Tv! How can they be advising anyone!

When does a Receptionist start being a PA?

Having mixed feelings on this one.

Basic run down : From Jezebel

Tamara Klopfenstein was hired to be a receptionist/data entry clerk.
After working for a few weeks, her (male) bosses asked her to get their coffee for them. She declined, and her manager e-mailed her, saying:

"This is not open for debate. Please don’t make an easy task a big deal."

Klopfenstein felt that getting coffee "reinforced outdated gender stereotypes," so the next day, when she was asked to get coffee again, she sent an e-mail that read:

"I don't expect to serve and wait on you by making and serving you coffee every day."

Nine minutes later, she was fired. Klopfenstein promptly sued the company for sexual discrimination and sexual harassment.
The judge ruled: "The act of getting coffee is not, by itself, a gender-specific act," and dismissed the case. But Klopfenstein's attorneys argue that "Some tasks are inherently more offensive to women."

Slightly more background, from Classical Values adds

In her suit, she claims that the office environment was tinged with sexism from the very beginning when a vice president of the company made a note after her initial interview that she "looks nice, dresses well."

After just a few weeks on the job, Klopfenstein claims that a male co-worker invited her to lunch in an e-mail that said

"I feel bad you have been working here for a couple of weeks and we haven't gotten to know each other yet."

I will add here that these two points are part of her argument for a "hostile work environment" but :
A> There is nothing wrong with noting that presentation is good, when you are front-of-house. When I was present for interviews for a Reception co-worker we saw some shocking outfits on the candidates, and I recommended against them partly on that criteria. As it was, the girl we hired still occasionally dressed inappropriately for a receptionist (reasons to ignore fashion trends when dressing for work!!!), but she was well presented at interview.
B> He may have been asking her for a date (she feels he was), but all she needs to do is politely decline. Unless her boss TOLD that guy to ask her out, her employer has little to do with it. If he isn't asking her on a date, there is nothing untoward about a co-worker asking her if she wants to have lunch, to help her settle in.

Now there's a bit of debate going on at both those sites, and over at Ask A Manager, where I first encountered this story. I'm kind of torn. Some commentators are saying Klopfenstein is being too precious, a bit spoilt brat.
While I agree with the following points which can be argued

1. She was only six weeks into her position. She should be a bit more flexible with her duties.
2. Not everything you do in your job is actually IN your job description, that doesn't mean you don't do it.
3. The receptionist can be a bit of a shit kicker.
4. If her second email (above) was verbatim, and that's ALL it said, her email manner definitely needs work. (And lunch-co-worker's email manner possibly needs work also if he hasn't conveyed his platonic message well enough)

However part of me still thinks she did the right thing. Her job description was Receptionist/Data Entry. I don't think she has to assume "personal/executive assistant" in there. (I include Executive as it appears she was asked to get more than one person [assuming higher management] their coffee). There is debate about the difference in whether she would have had to make or simply fetch the coffee. If its making it, is it plunger/carafe/drip filter/instant. I personally think its irrelevant how difficult the task is, BUT I do think its pertinent, if is IS fetching as to whether she was already going to get coffee.
I am the one that gets coffee every morning in my office. There are exactly 4 employees in my office however. Only three of us drink coffee, and I usually only have to buy 2 coffees, and obviously one is for me. I have coffee every morning. So it makes exactly NO difference to me how many I buy whilst I'm there. I don't pay for them all, I collect money before I go, its a complete non-issue.
I have noticed however, that if I don't go right away, no one is leaping to say "I'll get the coffee this morning". Its not a big deal though.

I used to work for a much larger company as the receptionist. After doing things I hated, that I didn't think I should have had to do, for the entire time I was there, I can see why, six weeks into a position, she would hold her ground and say she didn't want to be the coffee-getter. I don't think its unreasonable to try to set a precedent that there's things you don't want to do, because if you can foresee that its something you're never going to warm to as a task, and you think you can get out of it, then I say go for it. Its always harder to say "I don't want to do X Task" if you've been doing it for a while already.
I was lucky, I had a boss that had been managing Reception long enough to recognise the tasks we should and shouldn't have been doing, and shielded us from being someone else's shit-kickers. (Because we were HER shit-kickers of course)

So on one hand I say, good on her, she shouldn't be doing that crap. But on the other hand, I can see how this would easily fall into the scope of her job. But I also struggle to imagine them asking a guy to do it in the same position. I also can't help but think that this makes her a PA, not just a Receptionist. Theoretically there should be enough Reception work for her to be too busy to be running off to get/make coffee.

At my old job, the CEO and CFO shared a PA (technically making her an EA in my book) and one of her duties was to make coffee for them both. Firstly there was a drip filter which was for their coffee ONLY. Under pain of death, you were not allowed to drink that coffee. Later the company bought an automatic Espresso machine for general staff use, and she made it using that.
However if she wasn't in, they made their own. If she was not in the office, I could be asked to make it, and I did (because by hell you jumped if they asked) but only if the phone wasn't unattended, and it was usually only if they had a guest. BUT If there was no one else to answer the phone, that was my primary duty.

Its a grey area really, but I can't blame her for trying to make it black and white.

So, over to you, what do you think?

Shorten Retail hours, not Extend

Gah!

I don't work in Retail anymore, but I still keenly recall the frustration of working while no one else is. I strongly beleive that shops should be closed on Sundays. We should be re-claiming family time, moving away from an Open-All-Hours lifestyle.

I remember back as a lowly checkout girl at my local Coles, a regular who I was friendly with, moved to Perth. She was a really interesting personality actually, very flightly really, flitting from job to job, boyfriend to boyfriend. She was the first person I knew of that did Temp work, and she proudly told me she was so good at it, she could ask for whatever hourly rate she wanted.
At the time this seemed soemhow fantastically glamarous, stepping into different offices all the time, being wonderfully efficient and tailored, and ....officey.
Now I kind of think of her as a bit seedy, like she could have been talking about prostitution between the lines, and it would still make sense.

Anyway, she moved to Perth, but evidently it didn't work out because she came back again to harass the Saturday night staff at her local supermarket (remarkably telling factor in her life when you think about it). One of the things that I recall most about her recount of her time in Perth was how "behind" they were, illustrated when she recounted that all the shops shut at 6pm, and noon on Sundays. Even the supermarkets.
I've never forgotten her telling that story, and even now, I read with interest stories in the papers about changes to trading times for our West Coast cousins, for its only recently they've had Sunday trade granted, and extension for supermarkets to hours similar to our own. Even regional NSW stores are open to midnight, so its hardly surprising.

I came across this story in SMH today, and I find it annoying, but sad mostly. Instead of making it easier for stores to open Sundays, I beleive government should be making it harder, which is precisely what all the red tape was there for to begin with. Grr.

The height of rudeness? Or exceptions to every rule?

Do you think its arrogant to correct people?

I can't help it sometimes personally. Jamie Durie* was caught out recently, correcting Prince Phillip at the Chelsea Flower Show. Even thought he was most polite, the Prince took offence at his quiet correction

"He said to me, `I do like your tree fern'. I said, `Actually it's not a tree fern, it's a member of the cycad family. It's a Macrozamia moorei','' Durie revealed last night.

"And with that, he walked off. As he was walking away he said, `I didn't come here to get a lesson' under his breath. I didn't hear him say it, one of the boys heard him.''

In this instance there are several forces at play. Being from a monarchy we have a natural deference to Royalty, and it could be said that Durie shouldn't have corrected a member of the Royal Family (well he only married in anyway!)
He's also older than Jamie, so you've got a dose of "respect your elders" thrown in also.
But what about "the old bugger doesn't know what he's on about!" and "but this is my JOB"? (he did win the Show after all) I mean, Jamie Durie didn't go to University to study Horticulture only to let Macrozamia-ignorance waft by unchallenged.

I've learned to let mispronunciations pass me by. While this in itself makes me sound like a complete prat, sometimes I could hear people mispronounce words five or six times a day. It gets tiring trying to tactfully point out the correct way of saying something. *giant wank*

But when people use words completely out of context, or go off half cocked, I usually feel compelled to pull them up on it. Am I being a know-it-all? Or am I saving them future embarrassment by not correcting them, and allowing them to continue to think they're saying/using it correctly?

*Hehehe initially I wrote Drury, like Drury Lane, and the Muffin Man. Hahaha

Letter of response to my letter of complaint

Dear Mrs Dataceptionist

Thank you for contacting us about Dairy Farmers Thick & Creamy Light Yogurt. The development of new products is a very lengthy process and is a co-operative effort by our Marketing, Research and Development and Operations teams. Much time is spent to ensure that our new products are pleasing to our consumers as well as being of the highest and consistent quality.

Dairy Farmers welcomes feedback from our consumers as it enables us to gauge our products' performance and acceptability in the market place. Thank you again for your comments.

Thank you again for your support.

Kind Regards
********
CONSUMER AFFAIRS CO-ORDINATOR

What about the rest of us?

Target underwear (original photo site), originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Not surprisingly, the new Collette Dinnigan underwear line at Target doesn't feature anything higher than D size.
Bastards.

It really irritates me when that happens. If they do feature DD's its not until the 16's or 18s. HELLO? So I'm a freak am I? I demand the right to affordable, pretty underwear that fits me properly.

I don't think I'm really in the minority, I know lots of other big busty girls who would appreciate the market widening. Or do you think big boobs make friends with other big boobs?

You are the offspring of greatness! Act like it!

Because I know not everyone reads Mamamia and I COULD NOT let this slide.

Chloe Lattanzi "Rock the Cradle" 04.10.08
by TheDlisted

Dear god, let it end. What is the floor writhing and thrusting? *run away*!!!

(oops, btw, "Rock The Cradle" is one of these new breeds of tv shows, not quite "reality" not quite "competition". Its a singing "contest" between the offspring of famous singers. This little sprog is from Olivia Newton John)

Lirritants (get it?)

I've posted before on my annoyance of blurbs that bear no resemblance to the actual story.

Some other things that annoy me in literature:

Retelling the entire backstory in the first chapter in a series. This annoys me because if you haven't read the series, I don't think you deserve to have all the past spoonfed to you. Look pal, I did the hard yards and read the first 2/3 books, buck up and stop trying to muscle in on my series! Its all too Baby-sitters Club for me, where you could literally skip the entire first chapter as Ann. M. Martin told you all about how Kristy was the tomboy and Claudia loved berets and kept junk food hidden all over her bedroom.

Giving away the entire backstory when reading "stand alone" books.
(Leading me to...)
Too much backstory in books that are meant to be stand alone books.
This one has annoyed me a lot recently. I read(v) several authors in the same genre regularly, so I can see how this works and who can do it effectively, and who's cocking it up.

James Patterson- The Alex Cross series has been running for some years now, its a series. Unintentionally, but that's just how it is now. They started out fairly well, in the stand alone sense, but readers were crying out for more about the main character, Detective Cross, not just his exploits. Patterson also took the route where his lead detective wasn't just solving the crimes, he became a target of the killers. This will always take you down the road of having to delve right into the background and life of your main character. In the case of Cross, the death of his wife Maria before you meet Cross in the first book. Patterson has resuscitated his killers a few times too, so you can't just pick up the latest book (IMHO) and get all the info. Personally I think Patterson has painted himself creatively into a corner with this series, there's only so much one Detective can take in a lifetime.
Patterson has another series, the Women's Murder Club which I've spoken about before. This started as a series, making it different to the Cross series, and Patterson has learny from his previous mistakes, this series has 4 main characters technically, with the action mostly narrated from one of the women, but it leaves options for the future.
I think Patterson is arguably the most successful Crime Thriller writer in the market today because of his success at getting a whole different series off the ground in addition to the original Cross, and stand alone books on top.

I've just finished another book (see here) where the writer has ended up writing a series, it cannot be classed as anything else, because she's ended up with all the characters with all the action happening to them personally, so for that you need motivation, you need backstory the whole way.
It was a good book, but its begun to annoy me because I think they should be advertised as books that need to be read in order. This is something Fantasy and Sci-Fi do well, that Crime Fiction is really lagging in.

I know it can work when they don't tell you the backstory. I remember buying a book by an author I liked, Anne Rice, at the time. It was the third book by memory of a series, and I didn't get any of it, right from the first few pages. I didn't understand the story, it literally felt like I'd walked into the middle of a conversation and the speaker didn't pause at all for me. I ended up putting the book back down again, and read soemthing else. Eventually though I read the first books before the one I owned, and when I made it back to that book, it all made sense and I could power through. It was a fantastic series in the end.

/end rant.

Steps in creating meaningless form letter...

...To connect with potential listeners that only get this because they entered a competition...

So I was a bit weirded out to recieve an email, as part of a mailing list for a radio station:

Dear Dataceptionist,

How time flies!

My little man Flynn will be turning One in 2 weeks! And to celebrate his first birthday we've decided on a Cookie Monster cake... he always gets so excited when he see's the big blue furry monster with googly eyes on Sesame Street!

Also on the to-do list is taking Flynn to his first Easter Show. We really want him to experience the animals, particularly cows as he always cries when his toy cow goes "MOOOO" so hopefully he'll overcome his fear if he meets the real thing!?! Well that's the plan....which could very well back fire!

On the subject of Easter, while indulging in all that chocolate did spare a thought for our 5 hubbies who are slogging it out in the Fitness First Boot Camp? They're on a mission to get their bodies back into shape for their wives. They’re nearly halfway through their 8 week program and you can encourage them by clicking here to vote, which in turn could win you PRIZES!!!

By the way, I should warn you that there's a good chance I might run over your foot with Flynn's stroller in the Showbag Pavillion as I battle the crowds to get my Bertie Beetle Showbag ....I'll apologise in advance!

Lars Peterson

Uhhh, thanks Lars. I don't really know who you or Flynn are though? And why on earth do you think I'd care about his birthday cake?
Don't you think this is weird!?
The rest of the mailout is normal, y'know, competitions, promotions, shit they're flogging and so forth.
When I check the website for the station, he is apparently the "drive home DJ" but even if he was the DJ I actually tune into on this station, I don't want to know about his stupid child! It just smacks of those en masse update letters you get at christmas that include little Timmy's Scout camp and Little Hannah's first tooth.
Blegh.

Step 1
Ensure software inserts recipients name so as to connect immediately with them on a personal level.
Step 2
Insert meaningless pleasantry, suggestions can include, "gee hasn't the weather been strange" "how about that local sporting team"
Step 3
Talk about someone in your life readers are unfamiliar with, mother in laws are good as they're universally hated. If you choose children, be cutesy.
Make many references to this individual for the next few ramblings paragraphs.
Pretend you were mid conversation with your readers, as this keeps it casual and really connects
Step 4
Insert some sort of reference to a local event
Step 5
Make passing reference to the actual product or service you're promoting. Find tenuous link to your individual, so it looks smooth.
Step 6
Attempt humorous passing comment as a sign off. This keeps it casual and makes it seem like you haven't slaved over said letter all day. If you can, link back to the local event mentioned. Suggestions can include "See you at (event) I'll be the one at the sausage sizzle/snorting blow in the toilets/at the bar doing shots"
Step 6
Use your full name, because people don't know who you are, and can't Google you with just your first name. Don't use your title or position, its so much more fun and personal, like you're really pals!

Boozey Booze: not all sugared lolly water

I am a drinker of "alcopops" (I hate that term) or, sugary alcoholic beverages (as evidenced here and here and more here). My drink of choice mostly is Guava flavoured Vodka Cruisers. As with most drinks of this ilk, the flavour, while pleasant and delicious, bears no resemblance to real guava flavour at all.
I still like them though, and while they are high in sugar and thusly, high in calories, I would be devastated if they stopped making them.
So it was with irritation that I read Most dangerous alcoholic drinks identified included my beloved Cruisers.

The drinks targetted as baddies -
Bundaberg Rum and Cola, Kristov Vodka Cruiser Black Raspberry (a "double black" double strength version of the drink above) and Bulleit Bourbon, Woodstock Bourbon, Jager Bomb, Fairy Bomb, Haig Extra Scotch and Cola, Elevate Bomb, Hi NRG, Cougar Volt, Crazy Mexican and Pulse Red.

****Gah! Annoyingly at this point I realised I mis-read the article and my brand is number two, when I had thought it had been spared. I feel like such a tool.***

Cougar Volt is part of a move by Fosters to agree to stop producing Energy drinks with Alcohol in them. Of the twelve listed above I think 5 are energy/guarana and alcohol combinations, which I would not drink and I think energy drinks are foul.

I do think there are too many pre-mixes on the market, its a bit saturated now with disgusting products, but I hope they keep Guava Cruisers and Pink Grapefruit Bacardi Breezers (hey I like the taste, its just a happy conicidence that both those products are pink......)

I really am so over hearing about teenage binge drinking. Taking premixed drinks away from them won't stop them. They'll buy vodka and mix it with Shweppes Lemon Lime and Bitters like we did when we were 16. Where there's a will there's a way, and why should adults like me be punished and have our drinks taken away!

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out! Certainly, which way did you come in?

I bet this doctor is regretting his actions, now that its gone to court....

A SELF-CONFESSED footy fanatic is appealing a landmark ruling that upheld his sacking for taking the day off work to watch AFL legend Kevin Sheedy coach his last game for Essendon.
Mr Anderson, 27, obtained a medical certificate after telling a doctor, Eric Salter, that he wanted to see Sheedy coach his last game - against the West Coast Eagles - in Perth on September 1 last year.
He was warned by Crown not to take sick leave to attend the game, but flew to Perth, later insisting he had been suffering "emotional distress" at the thought of missing the match.
Mr Anderson told The Australian last night that he was "very disappointed" by the decision and had filed an appeal. "I wouldn't have taken the day off (through sick leave) had Dr Salter not written the certificate and Dr Salter and I still think he wrote the certificate on valid grounds. The court didn't see it that way ... "it's not as if I went to the doctor and told him I had diarrhoea and then went off to the footy. I was upfront with my situation and I still got done. I lost my job."

I mean come on. This story was run on news.com.au under Australia's sickie tradition "under threat". Of course it should be under threat! It shouldn't exist! Ever since Bob Hawke famously said 'Any boss who sacks a worker for not turning up today is a bum.’ there has been almost an enshrined "right" to chuck a sickie.

Lets look at this turn of phrase for a moment.
To "chuck a sickie" - take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy
Other phrases with "chuck"? To chuck a tantrum, to chuck a spaz or a wobbly. Yep, its all above board guys....

What an idiot this guy is to think that he could have this overturned going to court. Sick leave is there for a reason. Annual Leave is there for such frivolities as deciding you don't want to go to work on this particular day, you want to go to the footy instead. Can you imagine what sort of horrible precedent would have been set if the magistrate HAD overturned the termination and re-instated him?

When I was at school, there was a girl in the year below us, Nicki, that seemed to have lots of private tutoring type sessions with the Head English teacher, Mr Sinclair. There were of course whispers about something sordid going on, but no one really beleived any of it at the time, we were just high school students trying to spice up our day.
After we left school however it was revealed (on the NEWS) that they were in fact having an affair, that did start when we were watching them through the windows (ok that bit sounds creepy, but I have distinct memories of walking past classrooms with side windows and noticing them, time and time again).
This may seem like a total deviation from the above story, but go with me-

SO they ended up on A Current Affair etc, there was quite a furore at the time, I think they may have even scored a cover of SMH-which I bet she never wanted THAT to be how she became front page news.
Now I don't care much whether they got together or not, young love/old love/new love/illicit love, each to their own. One outcome of this however was that Mr Sinclair was removed from the school during our final year in a shroud of secrecy. Again with the rumours about Nicki, hotly contested by some of the girls in my year who had him as a teacher and worshipped the ground he walked on. He was quite a good teacher.
As students we asked other teachers what had happened and we were told he'd taken "Administrative leave" and was working at the Dept of Education HQ "for a while". All this while he had 2-3 Year 12 English classes he was taking, not exactly ideal conditions for your teacher to be yanked out of class.
However an extraordinary precedent was set in the aftermath of this by the Workers Compensation Commission:

...the recent decision of the Workers Compensation Commission awarding Sinclair generous benefits, you would think he was the victim.

It makes for surreal reading. The compensation arbitrator, Bruce McManamey, found that Sinclair suffered a "psychological injury" because of the way the Department of Education handled the allegation that he had developed a "close personal relationship with a student".

McManamey awarded him $28,000 in back pay to the date of his sacking last August plus $317.20 a week from January 21 this year "to date and continuing".

McManamey complained that it(Edu Dept) had "not sought to tender any of the material which formed the basis of the investigation". He said it was a difficult investigation because Nicki would not co-operate "and in fact denied the allegations".

McManamey said Sinclair was treated unreasonably because he was told only that he had "developed a close personal relationship with a student", which Sinclair found "quite confusing". "There are many relationships between teachers and students which could be described as close and personal which nonetheless are not improper conduct," McManamey wrote.

The decision to transfer Sinclair to non-teaching duties during the investigation was also "not reasonable". He "was placed in the position of not being able to assist Ms Shackle in what was for her a personally very difficult time".

A large part of the evidence tendered were emails between the lovers, which I won't share as they turn my stomach to think of Mr Sinclair as writing them. However Sinclair denied they were written by him, they have no signature and it is not an email address associated with him.

I don't think I'm alone in thinking its patently ridiculous for this to occur.

The affair has since ended, with Nicki gaining a new boyfriend and going overseas for a spell. Sinclair hasn't seen a penny of the money since as its still wrapped up in appeals, and he's not allowed to teach ever again.

I heard a rumour his wife might take him back, I don't necessarily think that would be a bad idea.

My Pet email hates

You wanna know what bugs me?
When people email me "warnings". For example, you may have recently recieved the following email

Fwd: Don't answer a cellphone while it's being charged

Don't answer a cell phone while it is being CHARGED!! A few days ago, a person was recharging his cell phone at home. Just at that time a call came through and he attended to it; with the instrument still connected to the mains After a few seconds electricity flowed into the cell phone unrestrained and the person was thrown to the ground with a heavy thud...
....etc etc

With this Picture included in the email


This email is a hoax, its not true, the picture is from a completely different incident, as are all the others. It took me about 12 seconds to find out if this was true or not. For chrissakes if this was really true don't you think that it would at least make the goddam news!? Amazingly, the scientific community doesn't figure these things out and think "hmm, what's the best way to get this message out? Oh I know, we'll email it around! Don't bother with Fox, CNN or even Today Tonight, email is the way to go!"

To see the breakdown of this hoax email, see here.

Others warnings can include,

"panadol will kill you"
"balloons are coated with arsenic on the inside because its all a sinister plot from latex manufacturers to kill everyone that likes parties"
"never open your email again or you could get that disease in I am Legend and Die"

I've gotten countless warnings from well meaning friends, the first one I think I decided to actually research was the "Bin-Laden and Olympic Torch Virus Warning". This email was going around saying a virus was hidden in "pictures" of Bin-Laden being hanged. People would be unable to sate their curiosity at the devil of the free world (read-America, last I hear, there's no beef between him and Oz) being killed finally, and their hard drive would be burnt to a crisp by the "olympic torch".
Riiigggghhht. This hoax debunked here and here

My beef with these stupid emails is that no one takes the fricking time to bother to check if these things are true before they blindly forward them on to the next helpless sap who forwards them to his entire address book, and so on and so forth.

GAH!!!!!!

It's not that hard people! You go to Google and type in "computer viruses" "hoax emails" "virus warning". Whatever you want! Please research this shit before you send it on if you REALLY think its so important for me to know, and you're really so concerned for my welfare.

Gah!!.

The other thing I hate, is funny forwards. Now the actual content, not a problem, I like funnies as much as the next girl because my job allows me to sit and read/watch them as soon as I get them, I don't sit down every few days and discover 50 of them in my inbox, which I know can happen to others.
But really, if you're going to forward them en masse, can you take a second and check who sent it to you? And mostly, you'll be able to see who sent it to them. If I am one of those people, I don't need to see it again!
Yes, I know it's funny, I sent it to you!
If we have common friends, or we are related can you do me a favour and take that extra milisecond to see if I've already received it?! Is it so hard!!!
This happens all the time to me!
Am I the only one who checks these things?

Gah! *collapse*

The "youth" of today

I'm in my mid-twenties (yes, MID Eca).
My husband and will be having children in the not so distant future.
I'm not the first or last person to have children, and I'm certain I'm not the first to worry about raising them "right". This is not new ground for me, ever since I felt old enough to pass comment on the coming generations compared to my own, I have worried about how I will ensure my children are as well adjusted as I feel myself and my brothers and sisters have become. How do parents find the right mix of discussions, discipline, clothing, finance, manners.......or is it simply that no one ever knows, and we can only hope that everything turns out ok?
If that's the answer, how will a control freak like me ever let go enough to make it flow?

If you read ten books on parenting, you'll probably get ten different success plans or stories, and ten different opinions on how to do it.
Hugh Mackay, a social commentator who always put across his point succinctly, muses :

.....it's all part of the accelerated childhood (AC) syndrome, reflecting the curious desire of parents - mightily reinforced by the machinery of modern marketing - to hasten their children's development towards adulthood by encouraging them to act like mini-adults.

The "training bra" for prepubescent girls was an early sign of the AC syndrome. Now you can find parents who willingly serve young children drinks that simulate adult cocktails, and who buy their daughters clothes, shoes, cosmetics, dolls and music designed to create the illusion of a precocious, premature sexuality.

Full article. Worth a read.

I mean, it really freaks me out. This aspect particularly, how do you sheild your daughters from this? Is it even possible now?

I compare this to when we were young girls. When I think about it, I can vividly recall owning several pairs of these hard plastic slide-on high heels that must have been awful for my feet. They were hot pink and bright yellow I think, and they had interchangeable snap on bows and sparkly things on the front. They made an awful clack-clack noise as I walked up and down our polished floorboard hallway, and I think they are the root of the reason my mother now hates for me to leave my heels on when I visit. We also had little eye-shadow compacts that had about 25 different colours in them, and we would revel in putting on our peacock blue eye shadow. We owned these things, and yet, it seems so much worse now? Is it purely perspective? Those old enough to remember, like Mackay, disagree. It is worse now.

Mackay ends his Opinion piece by blaming the parents, becuase at the end of the day, they are the ones buying leopard print over-the-knee-boots for their 3-year-old. So maybe there is hope for us Future Parents.

More on bad parenting choices, and a recent discovery in Violent Acres, a blogger with a seemingly massive chip on her shoulder and a writing style that is virtually scornful of her readers and their ability to make money for her simply by clicking on her page. She has some ok things to say though and must have something going for her and I've been reading her site ever since I came across this post "Two phrases that Destroyed American Culture"
I really beleive that part is true, and I loathe the concept that "the Customer is always right" because its complete bullshit.
She recounts in this post a ridiculous situation in her family where they have two christmases so that one spoilt brat can recieve two lots of presents. Its so prepostrous I'm not convinced its entirely true, but possibly an embellishment to a truly horrid child.
Anyone that thinks this is a good idea for their child deserves to have said child taken away from them, as these children will grow up to become lazy self indulgent adults who contribute nothing to society. People like Paris Hilton.

And lastly, children behaving badly in our own backyard. If you haven't already heard/read about it, a Melbourne teenager threw a party over the weekend while his parents were on holidays. While this is generally not unheard of, boys will be boys and teenagers will act up while their parents are away, the stupid moron put the info on MySpace and 500+ people showed up. From the TV footage last night it looked like a fairly nice neighbourhood, clearly parents who had tried to provide their child with a balanced upbringing in not Over-priveledged surroundings.
What I thought was incredible about the story is that even though the massive group spilled out of the house, onto the street, damaging neighbours property and terrifying residents, this stupid kid, Corey Delaney, doesn't even feel bad. He doesn't think any of it is his fault,

In fact, Corey went one step better yesterday.

"Best party ever, that's what everyone's saying," was his verdict.

When asked by the Nine Network what advice he had for teenagers considering throwing a party while parents were away, he said: "Get me to do it for you."

What an utter idiot. This FOOL was also all over the 6 o'clock news boasting how great he was, parading in front of the reporters with this RIDICULOUS puffy hooded jacket without a shirt on. What he thinks he's suddenly P. Diddy??
You know you're encountering true teenage mindset when they come out with pearlers like that. There is just an inherent inability to accept responsiblity and to look at the bigger picture.
I can appreciate all this now of course. To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.

Tomorrow- 14 year old girls know best. My tale of Young and Stupid.

Happy New Year Y'all!

So I'm back at work

*sigh*

It's not all bad, I was kind of almost feeling ready to return. Is that weird? Over the weekend (where we did painfully little) I was sort of thinking, oh yes, work. Something to do during the day.
I had actually reached the point (mercifully after two/three days) where daytime TV was going to make me stab my eyes out. Who knew 7th Heaven continued to run after it went off Prime Time??? It left for the programming wasteland that is between 9 and 5, and had all its prominent actors grow up and leave for "better" things ("'s for the fact that...where are they now??? Jessica Biel? The boy? ).

9am "summertime" with David & Kim made me feel like throwing myself off the balcony, or at the very least scratching the tv until I had nothing but nubs, those two presenters are so VERY wooden it drove me to tears. I will say though it is refreshing to see an interviewer cry when faced with an emotional subject and Kimmy was very convincingly touched.

So I had some wonderful breakfasts and outings during my time off. I love going out for breakfast, it can be the best meal of the day I think. I love cafe coffee when its made well. Hey it just has to be made nicely usually, you know, just not crap. That's not really that hard is it?
As many of you know, I drink a version of a short coffee, a macchiato, as below. This one looks great actually. I like them best served in a small glass as you can appreciate how good the coffee looks, and you can see what you're getting. If they look cool, it will generally taste good too as they've taken the care. Essentially in a nut shell, a macchiato means "stain of milk" so the way it is made is a single shot of coffee, with a tiny dribble of textured ("frothed") milk, with a little dob of "foam" on top. The shot part is usually the same everywhere, its the milk part that varies.
Can you see those different parts in the one below?
Looks so yum!

So I've started back at work today, and I would usually have a coffee, first port of call.
My local cafe makes my coffee great, the owner is the barista and she makes great coffee.
Unfortunately though they're closed for a further two weeks for holidays and I will need to source my coffee elsewhere. So I tried another place, there's no shortage of coffee places where I work. This is what I recieved (In a "regular" size takeaway cup no less, which didn't score points for them, generally means they don't make short coffees)

Its hard to tell exactly how much coffee is in this cup, I couldn't find a great photo to demonstrate. But I'm fairly certain instead of a macchiato, I actually got a ristretto which is an entirely different beast!
A ristretto is a shot of coffee with like half the water or something, its a very strong and VERY little drink. And no milk! I ended up tipping it into an espresso cup I have at work, and it took up about 2cm in the bottom of the cup. Probably not even.

Not a good sign for the new year. :(

Sperm donor to pay child support

Sperm donor ordered to pay lesbian couple

A British firefighter who donated his sperm so a lesbian couple could have two babies is being forced to pay thousands of pounds in child support.

Andy Bathie, 37, initially agreed to help Sharon and Terri Arnold after being assured he would not have to be involved in the upbringing of their young boy and girl or have any financial responsibility towards them.

But the British government's Child Support Agency has begun docking his pay to force him to contribute to the children's upbringing because the lesbian couple have split up.

Mr Bathie has launched unprecedented court action in an attempt to ensure he cannot be recognised as a legal parent to the children.

"These women wanted to be parents and take on all the responsibilities that brings," he told the Evening Standard newspaper.

"I would never have agreed to this unless they had been living as a committed family.

"And now I can't afford to have children with my own wife - it's crippling me financially."

I'm sorry, but I just think this is SO wrong. The last line is awful. I beleive in the "rights of the child" and everything, but this appears to be more of a case, of "let's take him for all he's worth for helping us". I actually have a friend who was dating a guy, they'd been seeing each other for 12 months or so when he got a letter in the mail that he owed child support to a woman he'd had a one night stand with (admittedly not good in itself). This woman admitted she'd slept with him purely to conceive a child because she wanted one. The child was now twelve months old and she'd realised she couldn't afford it, so NOW she wanted child support. I fully support "you do the crime you do the time" and that men have just as much responsibility to ensure contraception happens, but this was cold. Their relationship unfortunately didn't cope through this ordeal as he had more of his wages garnished to cover the backpay, so I don't know how he's doing with it.

Hello out there?

So, umm....look guys. I'm not saying you need to write like, War & Peace or anything, but it'd be really nice if you could leave a comment sometimes. You know, it doesn't have to be every post or anything, but if you had a chuckle or found what I said kind of interesting, maybe just a
"*chuckle*" or "good post"
You know I'd even take a "hey I found this quite dull"
Just you know, so I know I'm on the right track, or the wrong track, or that I'm even still on the track, not running off through scrubby bushland, with prickly things sticking to my socks.

And if you're just dropping in, how bout a Bangawoyo (hello in Korean)

(because really, who doesn't want a Banga-wo-yo)

It won't happen to me.....

In Sydney's Northern Beaches, the local paper, The Manly Daily in recent times has been focused a lot on a local girl, Annabel Catt, who died from taking a version of Ecstasy. You may be familiar with the coverage when the ABC came under fire earlier this year for airing a show, Summer Heights High, with a similar storyline to Catt's death.

This has been a very emotional issue for the local community, as she was young, only 20, and it has sparked a campaign by her family to try to raise more awareness of the issue, in the same manner as Anna Wood's death did. Anna wood was only 15 when she died, and it was a wake up call to a community that was probably pretending drugs were something junkies did, not schoolgirls. Interestingly, Anna Wood's father thinks its more likely the ABC SHH program was based on his daughter.

Anna Wood would have been 27 now, the same age as my brother.

When I was in Year 8 at school, I was what, 15/16 myself? We actually went to school with the son of Bronwyn Donaghy, who wrote Anna's Story, which is a non-fiction account, posthumously written by taking accounts from her friends and family.
Mrs Donaghy came to a camp we had and spoke about her experience, 3 years earlier, in meeting the Wood family (whom she previously had no connection with) and sharing their pain in losing their daughter in such a senseless way.
The message of the talk was that drugs can kill, and "party" drugs aren't benign, you never know what's in them and the effects can be devastating.

Unfortunately behind the scenes, for 100 school kids, the message was also "what an idiot" and "as if you wouldn't call an ambulance". Everyone walked away thinking, consciously or unconsciously, It Won't Happen To Me.

This week, Annabel Catt's family are trying to raise awareness about drugs, by visiting a primary school to launch the "Keep Aussie Kids Safe" campaign being run by Life Education Australia at all primary. They feel if they share their pain with primary school children and their parents across the nation, they can help others. This is a noble action, and would be great, if it worked.

The problem with these talks, vital as they are, is that they don't really work, and this is the biggest hurdle facing drug education. The most effective lessons about drugs are learnt the hard way- through experience.

It makes me wonder whether the "It Won't Happen To Me" mentality ever goes away. Or does it simply become "It Won't Happen To Us" when we have our own children. When does it develop? I am sure that on some level, primary school age children are still thinking that with "heroes" like Ben Cousins and Andrew Johns popping pills, that if they try one, It Won't Happen To Them. And why wouldn't they?

I'm not saying teenagers are going to be exposed to drugs and they won't have any power to stop them, being the mindless idiots that they are. That's not what I'm saying at all.
But this mentality permeates society and permeates all of our thinking, without really asking for it, because Bad Things Don't Happen To Good People.
And as far as we're all concerned, since we aren't Saddam Hussein, we are all Good People.

People feel sorry for families like the Catt's and the Woods, but secretly they think something "must be wrong in that family". Maybe they don't eat at the table together, maybe their kids are latchkey kids, whatever people's measure of normal, and "right" is, they suspect when something horrendous happens, it must be something in the way the children were raised. This isn't neccessarily true, no matter how children are raised, everyone knows the phrase, Curiosity Killed the Cat. Curiosity is a natural, human reaction to new things.

Annabel Catt's friends, I can guarantee you, will still be taking drugs. Their friend is DEAD, and they'll still be out, popping pills "to deal with it". Because even though it DID happen to their friend, It still Won't Happen To Me.

When did I get fat? oh wait....then....

*Sigh*

We're going to a wedding this weekend and I decided to try my old friend Ebay for a dress to wear, as I don't want to wear something I already own.
I found a dress I really liked, then discounted it as too expensive.

So I found another one that I thought would be quite good. This one :So it arrived yesterday, and its beautiful, I really like it, its a lovely purple colour and its silky and looks well made.

But it doesn't fit :(

Which is a problem.

Its too small, because I've gotten fat.

In fact we got married last November and in about February we realised we'd both put on weight, so we got stuck in, dieted, I managed to lose about 6-7kgs and was pretty happy. Then I sort of slacked off, stopped going to the gym when Daylight Savings finished and it got darker, and colder, and I holed up in our unit getting fatter and fatter again. Then I looked in the mirror at the beginning of August and thought, hold on! Its going to be Spring soon, and bikini season starts, and I'm all squishy looking.

So I resolved to go back to the gym.

Then I weighed myself, expecting to see the numbers at the same level as in February (pre-diet and weight loss) and was pleasantly surprised to see that I actually was still only a few kilos over my "good" weight from when I sort of trickled off on the exercise (about 11-15 weeks). So what happened? My brain quietly told me I could afford to wait, and not get right back into the diet.

Six weeks later I actually made it back to the gym.

So here I am, M has joined my gym too and we've only managed to go once together (I've been a few times solo).
The problem is that its the end of October and when I weighed myself again on the weekend I am now back to Post-, Wedding/Pre-Diet weight. In eight or nine weeks I seem to have abandoned my good-but-not-great eating habits and I gained the other 4 kg's I had lost.

I infact, feel fatter than ever before, I'm muffin-topping out of all my clothes. I have embraced the Baby-doll top, and the empire line dress because I don't need to try to suck my stomach in, which I am finding increasingly difficult and tiring to do all day.

In the last few weeks I have been unable to fit into the following items of clothing:

• Ebay dress. Size 12.
• Blue and white sundress, which made my boobs do something REALLY weird, dress may also be in cahoots with Nude colour strapless bra, which is showing signs of fatigue, and has been "on its way out" for six months or so. Think this is age related, not fat related however. I KNOW this dress fit me a year ago, its only that old.
  
• Just about all my jeans. I think they are all staging a revolt against me. Slowly slowly I have stopped wearing them, except for this one pair, which are really stretchy (loving them). I am punishing myself today by wearing a non-stretch pair that are cutting my in half as I sit.
  
• A multitude of slim fit tops which have all stopped slim-fitting. Including a heap of singlet tops that are stretch (Lycra if you will) that seem to display my fat rolls for all to see (back and front)
  
• Boardshorts. Are. My. Enemy.
• My pale pink shorts that I love *sniff*
• My pink sundress which is currently making me look like a beached whale.
• My white skirt that sits roughly just under my breasts now in order to zip it up. (not good look. What's worse, is considered wearing it out the other day regardless.
• Green and black dress, usually a solid friend, am afraid it won't zip up now.
  
• Am getting tuck shop arms!!!! (I know this isn't an item of clothing, more a reflection upon anything that I wear that displays them-particularly bad in strapless things)
  

So I'm back on the diet.
Thinking of doing the cabbage soup diet for a kick start, I've actually always liked that soup. Problem is its quite warm for soup.

...............*sigh*

Spoilt Princesses

I'll tell you what bugs me, stupid mothers with their princess daughters, whinging that they shouldn't be criticised for blatant exploitation.

In an article in SMH,

THE mother of a 12-year-old girl chosen to be the face of Gold Coast Fashion Week has demanded a public apology from Prime Minister John Howard over claims her daughter is too young to model.

As Maddison Gabriel spent yesterday getting pampered at a local beauty salon with seven girlfriends in preparation for her 13th birthday today, her mother, Michelle, said she was shocked Mr Howard and Opposition Leader Kevin Rudd had weighed into the debate.

"Without knowing us, how dare they make those comments," Mrs Gabriel said. "I would suggest both of them contact my family before they make any more defamatory remarks about us. We as a family deserve an apology from both of them.

Of course you do lady, no one else is allowed an opinion, and your daughter is flawless and the fact that she's being exploited seems just fine for you. Nevermind the fact that Gold Coast Fashion Week hasn't had this much press in years. And when the sleazy old guys and managers are touching your daughter up in the casting room, you'll be the first to cry foul.

"As politicians, you would expect that they would know how things would be misrepresented and maybe they should have known what our side of the story is before they made those types of comments.

As politicians they are expected to make comment on issues they know little about, radio interviews and press conferences REVEL in opportunities to catch them out. The fact that they are on the money in this instance is a happy co-incidence.

"I believe the Prime Minister is getting very doddery. He does not know exactly what 13- and 14-year-old girls are like. I used to vote for him."

Mr Howard told Melbourne radio on Friday: "Catapulting girls as young as 12 into something like that is quite outrageous and I am totally opposed to it."

His concerns were later echoed by Mr Rudd, who said: "I have real concerns about littlies that young going out there doing that sort of thing."

But Mrs Gabriel defended her daughter, saying Maddison would be 14 by the time she represented the fashion week next year.

She also denied reports that part of her daughter's duties as an ambassador would be to appear at Gold Coast nightclubs.

She said organisers told her yesterday morning that there were no plans to pull her daughter from the position despite the negative publicity.

"There's been a carry-on about Maddison wearing adult clothes," Mrs Gabriel said.

"People should know she is 5 foot 7 [1.7 metres]. All of her friends buy clothes from adult shops. Every 13-year-old I know, even if they're little, wears adult clothes.

So what, that makes it ok for them to be wearing adult clothes? Little girls have played dress ups with their mothers clothes for years! That doesn't mean we should stick them in leopard print boots just because they ask for them! This attitude gives new meaning to "13-going-on-23".

"[As a society] we're trying to get our teenage daughters to act older. I am so happy that I've got a daughter who has got a good head on her shoulders."

Since when as a society are we trying to get our girls to act OLDER? WHEN did that happen you stupid twit!? I thought we were trying to get girls to act THEIR AGE. For chrissakes lady, with an attiude like this, Pageant-Mum much?

Maddison chose to spend her birthday weekend like many teenage girls, starting with a sleepover with friends on Friday night, during which they ate pizza and watched movies.

Ok this part is normal

The celebrations continued yesterday with a visit to a Gold Coast salon, where the girls had manicures, pedicures, eyebrow waxes, eyelash tints and their make-up done, and indulged in birthday cake.

Umm, excuse me, just got very Un-normal for a thirteen year old girl. Waxing? Far out, I was barely allowed to shave when I was 13. My first eyelash tint was for my Year 10 formal.

Boys were strictly banned.

"They're not my favourite," Maddison said. "It's really more a girly day."

For her birthday, she asked for a laptop, clothes, accessories and a couch. Today, the family are throwing a big party at their Mudgeeraba home.

FAR OUT!!! No wonder this princess won this competition, her mother pushed her through it probably, and has given the little angel everything she's ever wanted by the look of this list. I'm sure I wanted a CD player at this age, a COUCH????? LAPTOP (do NOT even get me started)

But unlike most young girls, Maddison began her last day as a 12-year-old fielding a call from the BBC in London.

She said that, while all the attention had been overwhelming, she did not understand why because of the number of other young models in the industry.

"You see all these other young models that are 13 on the front of magazines," she said. "I wanted to do it since I was very young and I've been trying to get into it, going into competitions since the beginning of this year.

Yes, of course young girls WANT to be models. It doesn't mean they SHOULD be models. This statement I feel accurately reflects why this girl doesn't understand. As I heard Kristy Hinze echo on the radio, if girls this age appear on Dolly or Girlfriend that's kind of OK, their target market is girls that age. When 13 year old are modelling for adults, thats wrong.

"My friends are really proud that I won. They're excited for me.

Yeah because they're beacons of normalcy in the world. They're just excited you can give them free shit now.

She said her goal was to become an international model.

A spokesman for Mr Howard said he had nothing to add.