This will go perfectly with the fridge...

I Just Lost My Appetite…

Frame Shop | Moscow, ID, USA

(A customer comes in with “artistic” nude pictures of herself and her husband, and throws them on the counter.)

Customer: “What kind of frame should I put on these? They are going in the kitchen.”

Me: “The kitchen, huh? Well, I can start you off with a few options.” *I show her a few frames*

Customer: “…and how much would this be?”

Me: “$350.00 each.”

Customer: “For $350.00 I’d expect something a little more… phallic.”

This can't be true....

What. The. F***. (From Not Always Right)

Deli
Knoxville, TN, USA


(I work in a deli, and the new girl gets a call about party trays; she hands the phone to me.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Sorry about the wait. Do you know which tray you want?”

Male caller: “I just need some information about party trays.”


Me: “Alright, what would you like to know?”

Male caller: “How many should I order for a bachelorette party with 8 women for 6 hours? They’re hiring me to be the entertainment, and they’re paying me $300 to be a garbage disposal. They said they’ll go out and get more if I don’t bring enough. Would you?”


Me: “Would I… what?”

Male caller: “If you were paying me $300 to be the entertainment and garbage disposal, how long do you think it would last? I want to know what I’m in for. They’re gonna put me in a dress and makeup and tie me up and feed me the leftovers to see how much I can hold. Would you?”

Me: “No, I wouldn’t. Sir… I–”

Male caller: “No, if you were paying me $300 to be entertainment and the garbage disposal and put me in a dress and tie me up so I couldn’t get out… They’re going to pay me a $150 dollar bonus to take a vacuum cleaner and hook it up to me and vacuum. I want to know what I’m in for.”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect–”

Male caller: “Would you?”

Me: “Let me transfer you to my manager. He might be able to help you.”

Male caller: *click*

Nice is nice

LOCATION Nice, France

Weather is beautiful, but very warm. You're almost sweating at 10pm still.

So an eventful departure from Barcelona. When in the breakfast room, one of our tour group had her handbag stolen. It was so fast it was incredible, she put it down, went to get something, not even her whole breakfast, and when she came back it was gone. Afterward a bunch of people remembered seeing two dodgy looking blokes that weren’t in our group, I saw one of them myself but just assumed he was another guest at the hotel. As he left apparently, a different female member realized her bag was gone too, and looked at him, asking if he had it. He proceeded to open his coat, give it back to her and mumble something about “a mistake”.

Scary for the whole tour group, though we had been warned about not leaving our things unattended at breakfast, and thankfully the woman whose bag was stolen found her passport in her other carry-on, along with her “big” credit cards.

**updated-thankfully her bag was found near the hotel after we left Barcelona. As suspected, only the cash was taken, credit cards, camera etc were all intact and they will set about returning the bag to her somehow.**

Barcelona was beautiful, very hot, we saw a sign at 2pm saying it was 33 degrees, and when we got on the bus this morning it was 25 at 8am. So very warm! Not really the weather for boots, but I was determined to buy some anyway and we appeared to arrive just as winter stock was going out in the shops, so there was quite a selection. Boots in Spain, I’m “allowed” a handbag in Italy, and some new sunglasses would be nice. Perhaps in Greece? Heheheheh

We were warned a lot about pickpockets in Barcelona, particularly on the main walking mall area, the “rambla”. There was heaps of great street art and performance, but the consequence is to make you less aware of your person. Thankfully with two of us we could be hyperaware of what was going on around us, but it certainly dampens the experience of being in a foreign city. We definitely saw a few dodgy looking blokes, and I was pretty worried about any man on his own really. Apparently young girls can be just as bad though.

I was disappointed overall with the shopping in Spain, I think we were in the wrong area, because there seemed to be potential we just couldn’t find quite what I was looking for. One of my favourite Sydney shops is called Starfish Earrings. They started with a little shop in Hornsby and expanded to several stores, which was great for them as it was run by a family. The first shop in Hornsby started off only stocking earrings. Earrings from all over the world that are gorgeous. The consequence is though, that I’ve come to Spain looking for cool and interesting jewelry, and found all these things I’ve seen already! That’s a bit sad, but I suppose that’s the way the world is heading! Can’t wait for Venice, hoping to get some Venetian glass pieces.

Touring is interesting.

There is one super annoying Canadian woman on our tour. She’s traveling alone, I can only assume because none of her friends would have her. Unfortunately for another woman traveling singly also, they get lumped in the same room most of the time. She has an irritating habit of talking to herself, or sort of talking at the air, saying things that we don’t care about!!!! Trying not to listen to her, hoping she will curl up and die. Okay not really, but just trying to ignore her as much as we can. Without bringing the subject up, others appear to have the same opinion of her.

Most of the people seem good though, very friendly and middle class so we fit right in. A few younger couples which is nice, but wasn’t a priority for us, so its just gravy.

That asshole in your rearview mirror might just be me

I'm quite an aggressive driver. I know this, but don't try to tell me, its embarrassing enough knowing it myself without others pointing it out.

Its not that I'm road raging all the time, but I have a tendency to be impatient, especially when I'm running late, which is often. I have been known to beep my horn on occasion, but I draw the line at screaming at someone out my window. That kind of shit gets you arrested.
I have been known to be the person zooming down the lane that is about to run out, but only if I'm really pressed for time so I don't feel guilty about doing it. When I'm not late, I make the effort to sit in the other lanes (I always sit in the lane that won't have people merge into it at all), trying not to fume, and I tell myself "they might have a sick relative they're rushing to get to".

I always wonder if other people on the road are aware of "the rest of us".

An example from this morning. The majority of my journey is on a four lane road (2 each way). There are technically kerbside lanes also but they're full of parked cars, so useless for driving on.

Today there were two cars driving almost parallel with each other, leaving no room to pass either of them, frustrating the hell out of literally every car behind them!

And I'm positive they didn't know each other, different ages, different nationalities, I think they were honestly oblivious to the rest of the traffic trying to co-exist with them.

It drives me nuts!

I kind of hate it too, as I recognise I'm doing it. Almost every morning for the last three weeks I have thought about this post, starting it in my head. Think about that.

Almost every morning for the last three weeks, at some point in my journey to work, I have thought, "I am an aggressive driver". That's so depressing. All that wasted energy.

For a while I drove the back way to and from work, not because it was quicker, it isn't. But because its pretty, the view is nicer, and everyone is just ambling along. Its all one lane, so no passing, but that helps me chill out a bit more. And if I'm not hooning around, and someone is sitting on my tail, I think to myself, "this isn't the faster way, if you wanted to hoon you should have gone the main road" so I don't feel guilty about sitting on 55 km/h (still technically speeding in a 50 zone anyway!)

My most shameful driving incident to date, was a few weeks ago. I had just left work, didn't have a good day, so already on the wrong foot.

I've done a diagram to explain it better. I'm in the Pink car (of course)

So I was approaching the traffic lights, and just as they went green, the car in front of me (blue) stopped to allow a car from the side street (purple)to ease into the traffic. I was immediately pissed off as in my experience, whenever that happens, both the cars in front of me will make it through the lights, but I won't*.

And that's exactly what happened, I only just missed the green light.

So what did I do?

What every rational person does of course, I leaned on my horn, repeatedly, to express my frustration as the car drove through the lights and off into the sunset. I was that frustrated I could have cried (and nearly did). I may have kind of screamed at myself. (With all the windows up)

It was absolutely ridiculous!

I felt like an utter twit after I'd calmed down, the light changed again and I drove away, the rest of the journey incident free. To exacerbate matters, M was away on business for the night so where I would normally come home, have a vent and a hug, and felt ten times better, there was just our empty house and my ridiculous temper tantrum to keep me company.

*(not without running a RED light, which for all my law breaking, I don't do, even when very annoyed)

You hated it, but ate it anyway?

Now I'm not trying to make excuses, but M finally gave me his head cold after two weeks of staving it off. Take THAT immune system!

Sorry its been a bit quiet, I've got some stuff I'll put up tonight hopefully, in the meantime, a Not Always Right from our own sunny Aussie shores:

Don’t Mess With Mum

Restaurant | Sydney, Australia

(I’m working in a busy cafe that my mum owns. A man approaches the counter with his plate; it is empty.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Mum: “Yes?”

Customer: “This food had too much oil in it.”
(The plate is hidden from her view by the large counter, behind which, she is washing dishes.)

Mum: “Oh…? What, you want me to make you another one? You’d still have to pay for at least one.”

Customer: “No, I want a refund.”

Mum: “Can I see the plate?”
(Customer holds up plate; it is basically empty: some left over slices of lettuce, a little bit of bread.)

Customer: “There was too much oil. I didn’t like it.”

Mum: “But… you finished it off. How can you finish a whole meal you hate? Are you kidding me?”

Customer: “No.”

Mum: “Get the f*** out of my store!”

Customer: “What?”

Mum: “F*** off!”

And You'll be pleased to hear I've finally read the entire archive so I can concentrate on working again hehehehe (and submitting my own entry!)

I too, like email

HAD to post this one, its too bizarre! (I'm on page 49 of 99 pages of archives....)

A Woman Of Few Words

Information Technology (University) | Midwest, USA

(I was in our technology support office when a housekeeping staff person, Donna, stopped by. There was no preamble to the dialog below.)

Donna: “Dr. Franklin gets e-mail in his office.”

Me: *nods*

Donna: “Alicia says she can check her e-mail in the office.”

Me: *nods*

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: “Nice.”

Donna: “Nice?”

Me: “Not nice?”

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: “I like e-mail, too.”

Donna: “You don’t have it?”

Me: “I do.”

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: *biting lower lip, uncertain what to say or do*

Donna: “I like e-mail.”

Me: *glancing at the clock on the wall*

Donna: “I like to have e-mail.”

Me: “I like having e-mail, too, and I check it all the time.”

Donna: “Can I have it? I like to have e-mail.”

Related:
The Art Of Ambiguity

Stupid customers (more)

Aarrrrrhgghggh! So frustrating! More from Not Always Right

In That Case, Replace Them Daily

Auto Mechanic Shop | Redwood City, CA, USA

Customer: “Could you check my brakes and see if they are bad?”

Coworker: “Of course. Which vehicle is yours?”

Customer: “Oh, I walked here.”

Coworker: “Ok, well we can’t check your brakes if the car isn’t here.”

Customer: “I told you I walked here. I just want to know if I need new brakes.”

Coworker: “I can’t tell you that unless I actually see the vehicle.”

Customer: “Can’t you just tell me if I need new brakes for my car? It’s a Mercedes if that helps at all.”

Coworker: “Like I said, I need to see the car to tell you if you need new brakes.”

Customer: “OK, so can you tell me if my brakes are bad?”

Me: “We physically need the car here in front of us so we can look
at the brakes with our own eyes and determine if they are bad or not.”

Customer: “It’s a Mercedes.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Thing On The Thing With The Thing

Retail | Woonsocket, RI, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How can I direct your call?”

Customer: “Do you have any of those things you can put on tables?”

Me: “Like a table cloth?”

Customer: “No. They’re those things you can put on tables.”

Me: “Ma’am, you can put a lot of things on tables.”

Customer: “Well I don’t know what they’re called! You’re the one who should know!”

Me: *face on desk*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just don't think I could have put up with customers like that. I would have screamed.
I wish I'd written down some of my customer horror stories now...

The customer is NOT always right

Oh god, its every awful retail story you can imagine, collected together at a site called Not Always Right. I haven't been able to stop reading since Evil HR Lady mentioned it on her blog.

Here's a couple of good ones

Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2

Library | London, UK

(A customer comes to the counter to borrow a DVD, I go into the back and get the one he wants, and all seems normal…)

Me: “May I have your card?”

Customer: *presents a bank card*

Me:  ”I mean your library card.”

Customer: “You mean I can’t buy it?”

Me:  ”No, you can only borrow from a library.  You can buy DVDs in the shop around the corner.

Customer:  ”Oh…. so I can’t buy it here? I have to borrow it?”

Me:  ”Yep.”

Customer: “I wanted to buy it.”

Me: “You can only buy it from shops.  Are you a member of the
library?

Customer: “No, I wanted to buy this DVD.”

Me: “You can’t buy things here, you can only borrow things when you’re a member.”

(By this point there is quite a long queue behind him, so I ring the bell for assistance.)

Customer:  ”What’s that bell for? Is it for getting a copy I can buy?”

Me:  ”No, it’s to get assistance for the other readers.  If you’d like to buy a DVD, I’d strongly suggest you go elsewhere. ”

Customer: “So I can’t buy it?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *pauses* “Oh… I wanted to buy it.”  (After one more pause, he finally leaves.)

Related:
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition
I Think She Wants A Discount

 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Was It Something I Said

Phone Company | Las Vegas, NV, USA

Me: “411 Information.”
Customer: “Wait a minute…”
*papers rustling around*
Customer: “I thought I had that here…”
*long pause, more rustling*
Customer: “Just a sec…”
*several seconds of silence*
Customer: “Never mind, you sound stupid.”
*hangs up*

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the Most popular post on the site (most Thumbs Up)

Mission: Impossible

Key Shop | Chicago, IL, USA

Customer: “I just locked my key in my car in front of the shop.”
Me: (I pick up some stuff) “Not a problem, I’ll pop it open for $5.00.”
Customer: “What are you going to do with that stuff?”
Me: “Open your car.”
Customer: “It’s a brand new Mercedes. I just drove it here from the dealer–you can’t touch it!”
Me: “Then how do I open it?”
Customer: “That’s your problem.”
Me: “Actually it’s not; I didn’t lock the key in your car.”
Customer: “You have to open it.”
Me: “Watch me not open it.”
Customer: “OK then, but if you make any scratch or mark at all then you will have to pay Mercedes to repaint the whole car. That will cost thousands.”
Me: “So If I’m successful I get $5.00, but if I make the smallest error it will cost me thousands of dollars?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Your car might just be there forever.”

(There is even a T-shirt dedicated to this one)

From the Not Always Right store:    
Your Car Might Just
Be There Forever Tee

 

Warning-If you go there, you may ALSO be tempted to read ALL the archives compulisvely.

Especially if you have worked in retail with the morons we call customers.

Liar liar pants on fire!

I, Dataceptionist, your faithful blogger, am a liar. There. I said it! I’m sorry!

(slightly less faithful recently sorry, been a bit busy at work)

Doing some tag maintenance recently, I found a post called Cops are Tops. It’s a recount of my first ever breath test, making my post  recently about my breath test, false! I completely forgot about it. I can’t remember WHAT I was doing in Castle Hill, at midnight, on a weeknight, but I got pulled over. Seemingly without incident, as I don’t even recall it after reading the post. Its like someone else’s story funnily…

It has reminded me however that I was going to recount another tale of Police brutality (aka a routine traffic stop) of mine.

I’ve had to go back to the high school archives for this one, and have even gone to the trouble of scanning a photo or two, so you can really feel part of the story. 

First off, some background info-

 

So way back in year 12 at school, I was  the proud owner of a VW beetle, here she is. ---->

I was devastated when it came time to sell her, but an enormous relief also (it broke down quite a lot. I often joked that I knew all the NRMA [roadside assistance] mechanics on a first name basis) . 

That said, I actually shed a tear when I watched it drive away after I sold it. *sniff*

Anyway, I did Drama as a subject for my HSC (final year high school exams for those outside Oz). One of the components of the subject was a group performance with the class of 24 split into small groups to work on a piece that, from memory, could be on anything you wanted, there were no limits. 

So one day, I was on my way to a rehearsal at one of the girls houses. I used to tear around quite a bit in my beetle, and so was ever vigilant for the police, but I was almost at my destination on this occasion, so was paying less attention than I should have been, and suddenly theres a police car stopped on the side of the road. I was in a 50 km/h zone, going 80, by the time I got to the car I would still have been going 55-60, but thankfully was turning just after the car.

So you can imagine what happened then, as I watch in my rear view mirror, he turns a little after me. The follows me for about 2-3 minutes. This doesn't sound very long, but when you're crawling along waiting for the sirens to sound, and the lights to flash, it can be an eternity.

Eventually the siren sounds, and I hasten to pull over, so I look like an innocent obliging citizen.I quickly rummage around for my handbag, so I have my license at the ready, and the window down by the time he ambles over to me. Later my mother tells me not to look so "practiced" at being pulled over LOL

I imagine he made small talk or something before asking me to step out of the car. Remember how I said I was on my way to a rehearsal? A DRESS rehearsal, I'm in costume...

I'm second on the LEFT. In the lime green. 

You can't see the rainbow knee high socks I'm wearing as well as the full makeup. 

So looking like a clown missing floppy shoes, I climb out of my, now equally as silly looking, Volkswagen so he can demonstrate to me I haven't got my "P" plate displayed correctly. 

I'm certain he saw what I was wearing through the window and decided it would be funny to haul me out of the car. My father helpfully points out later also, that he was probably checking out my tits as well. Nice Dad.

No...this can't possibly be real...

Left Click on Pic to read the article
Or, click HERE, where the original article is.

Like many people who've seen this forward, I immediately dismissed it as fake.

But it appears to be real! I don't know if thats better or worse quite frankly.

At least, it appears to be real, the program referred at the end of the article screens in the UK, and you can find the Closer Online website here.

You are the offspring of greatness! Act like it!

Because I know not everyone reads Mamamia and I COULD NOT let this slide.

Chloe Lattanzi "Rock the Cradle" 04.10.08
by TheDlisted

Dear god, let it end. What is the floor writhing and thrusting? *run away*!!!

(oops, btw, "Rock The Cradle" is one of these new breeds of tv shows, not quite "reality" not quite "competition". Its a singing "contest" between the offspring of famous singers. This little sprog is from Olivia Newton John)

- - - - O-Y- - - G

14-across : Having both male and female characteristics

Its not Hermaphrodite, so I consult Wikipedia (as you do, hey its not cheating, its learning)

I type "female and male" into the search box.

Scroll scroll, HELLO! 7th article?
The Janice Dickinson Modelling Agency with 58.9% relevance.
LMAO Is this a reference that she's had too much work done?

You've got to be kidding me

I'm sure that's what the judge thought when this case same across his desk....

Escorts a work expense, court told

November 13, 2007

Question: When might thousands of dollars worth of escort agency services be considered a work-related personal expense for a corporate executive?

Answer: When an accountant might find they relate to entertainment or living away from home expenditure for companionship while interstate.

But even the Industrial Court judge hearing an unfair dismissal case could barely believe that Tas Sinadinos lived in the "real world" in claiming that escort services might be a legitimate tax deduction claim for personal expenses related to his relocation to Sydney as executive manager, logistics, for EDI Rail Pty Ltd on a salary of $185,000.

Mr Sinadinos is seeking orders including 12 months' salary in damages and a declaration that he was not guilty of misconduct in using his corporate American Express card for escort services.

His sacking from the company that provides Sydney trains was "unfair" as he was never shown the company's employee "code of conduct" when headhunted from Melbourne in December 2004.

He told the court he only saw the company policy on corporate card use a month later, by which time he claims to have had a verbal agreement with his manager to charge work-related personal expenses to his corporate credit card provided they were reimbursed directly.

But Mr Sinadinos agreed he did not directly pay back the company for up to $12,000 in personal charges at Coles, Theo's Liquor Store and Delfare Pty Ltd, an Annandale-based escort company, and other Sydney escort services...

...Mr Sinadinos agreed he had not worked since his sacking on August 31, 2005 over "inappropriate and unacceptable" personal spending on escort services....

...Buying escort services for "company" was "not dissimilar" to buying fittings for his apartment. He could not "differentiate [escort services] from buying a rack on which to put food on for my apartment. I would leave that to an accountant."

Jennifer Cook SMH

I mean, how ridiculous!

Heavy Breathing

Had the most DISGUSTING experience on the phone at work today. I answered the phone with the customary business greeting. A laboured voice on the other end of the phone asked if I would speak to him for a moment (which is apparently where I went wrong).
He sounded a little like a regular customer of ours, who I thought may have been playing joke on me. I was confused, he said he really needed to talk to someone, I asked him where he was calling from, he told me Melbourne, I then proceeded to ask him if he realised he'd called a business. I was kind of thinking maybe there was something actually wrong with him, perhaps he was thinking of injuring himself and I said to him I didn't really think I was equipped to assist him (thinking perhaps he needs to speak to LifeLine) and as I started to look up on my computer the number, should I need it, HE STARTED JERKING HIMSELF OFF, grunting down the phone.

It was beyond REPULSIVE, I can tell you. I still feel naseous from the experience.

Spoilt Princesses

I'll tell you what bugs me, stupid mothers with their princess daughters, whinging that they shouldn't be criticised for blatant exploitation.

In an article in SMH,

THE mother of a 12-year-old girl chosen to be the face of Gold Coast Fashion Week has demanded a public apology from Prime Minister John Howard over claims her daughter is too young to model.

As Maddison Gabriel spent yesterday getting pampered at a local beauty salon with seven girlfriends in preparation for her 13th birthday today, her mother, Michelle, said she was shocked Mr Howard and Opposition Leader Kevin Rudd had weighed into the debate.

"Without knowing us, how dare they make those comments," Mrs Gabriel said. "I would suggest both of them contact my family before they make any more defamatory remarks about us. We as a family deserve an apology from both of them.

Of course you do lady, no one else is allowed an opinion, and your daughter is flawless and the fact that she's being exploited seems just fine for you. Nevermind the fact that Gold Coast Fashion Week hasn't had this much press in years. And when the sleazy old guys and managers are touching your daughter up in the casting room, you'll be the first to cry foul.

"As politicians, you would expect that they would know how things would be misrepresented and maybe they should have known what our side of the story is before they made those types of comments.

As politicians they are expected to make comment on issues they know little about, radio interviews and press conferences REVEL in opportunities to catch them out. The fact that they are on the money in this instance is a happy co-incidence.

"I believe the Prime Minister is getting very doddery. He does not know exactly what 13- and 14-year-old girls are like. I used to vote for him."

Mr Howard told Melbourne radio on Friday: "Catapulting girls as young as 12 into something like that is quite outrageous and I am totally opposed to it."

His concerns were later echoed by Mr Rudd, who said: "I have real concerns about littlies that young going out there doing that sort of thing."

But Mrs Gabriel defended her daughter, saying Maddison would be 14 by the time she represented the fashion week next year.

She also denied reports that part of her daughter's duties as an ambassador would be to appear at Gold Coast nightclubs.

She said organisers told her yesterday morning that there were no plans to pull her daughter from the position despite the negative publicity.

"There's been a carry-on about Maddison wearing adult clothes," Mrs Gabriel said.

"People should know she is 5 foot 7 [1.7 metres]. All of her friends buy clothes from adult shops. Every 13-year-old I know, even if they're little, wears adult clothes.

So what, that makes it ok for them to be wearing adult clothes? Little girls have played dress ups with their mothers clothes for years! That doesn't mean we should stick them in leopard print boots just because they ask for them! This attitude gives new meaning to "13-going-on-23".

"[As a society] we're trying to get our teenage daughters to act older. I am so happy that I've got a daughter who has got a good head on her shoulders."

Since when as a society are we trying to get our girls to act OLDER? WHEN did that happen you stupid twit!? I thought we were trying to get girls to act THEIR AGE. For chrissakes lady, with an attiude like this, Pageant-Mum much?

Maddison chose to spend her birthday weekend like many teenage girls, starting with a sleepover with friends on Friday night, during which they ate pizza and watched movies.

Ok this part is normal

The celebrations continued yesterday with a visit to a Gold Coast salon, where the girls had manicures, pedicures, eyebrow waxes, eyelash tints and their make-up done, and indulged in birthday cake.

Umm, excuse me, just got very Un-normal for a thirteen year old girl. Waxing? Far out, I was barely allowed to shave when I was 13. My first eyelash tint was for my Year 10 formal.

Boys were strictly banned.

"They're not my favourite," Maddison said. "It's really more a girly day."

For her birthday, she asked for a laptop, clothes, accessories and a couch. Today, the family are throwing a big party at their Mudgeeraba home.

FAR OUT!!! No wonder this princess won this competition, her mother pushed her through it probably, and has given the little angel everything she's ever wanted by the look of this list. I'm sure I wanted a CD player at this age, a COUCH????? LAPTOP (do NOT even get me started)

But unlike most young girls, Maddison began her last day as a 12-year-old fielding a call from the BBC in London.

She said that, while all the attention had been overwhelming, she did not understand why because of the number of other young models in the industry.

"You see all these other young models that are 13 on the front of magazines," she said. "I wanted to do it since I was very young and I've been trying to get into it, going into competitions since the beginning of this year.

Yes, of course young girls WANT to be models. It doesn't mean they SHOULD be models. This statement I feel accurately reflects why this girl doesn't understand. As I heard Kristy Hinze echo on the radio, if girls this age appear on Dolly or Girlfriend that's kind of OK, their target market is girls that age. When 13 year old are modelling for adults, thats wrong.

"My friends are really proud that I won. They're excited for me.

Yeah because they're beacons of normalcy in the world. They're just excited you can give them free shit now.

She said her goal was to become an international model.

A spokesman for Mr Howard said he had nothing to add.

So wrong, but so funny

Sorry they're so small. For more see Cyanide and Happiness

MySpace Madness

I *sigh* have a myspace now. I also caved to the immense pressure. Mainly I found an old friend from high school who spurred me on enough to join so i could message her. Because stupidly you have to be a member to send someone something. I guess it keeps it from people randomly abusing others.....Hmmm....
Anyway here's the link, and it looks pretty. http://www.myspace.com/thevonbomb
I mainly created it so I could waste more time in my day. hehehe. and laugh at others I found with sad pages (*cough* Jared "Ripper" Hale *sneeze* whoops I mean *cough*)
So go check me out, and if you have MySpace, maybe add me, so I too can be cool and have a majillion friends. LOL.

Another One Bites the Dust

Dita Von Teese and Marilyn Manson are divorcing (SMH Full Article).

Dita von Teese, a gorgeous burlesque star and Playboy model, never should have been with him anyway. Apparently she states he has too many "Demons". Yeh no shit sherlock. Look at him. He is screaming for a hug from his mother! (and some clearasil) It was one of those weird marriages you'd forget about and then something would crop up and it'd be all like "oh yeah, them..." They did make for a fabulous famous goth couple though.

random pics

Hahaha So wrong, but so funny.

Words fail me.

Yeh, they wish.

"When Blondes set their desktop picture and don't know how to remove it"

WTF????

"C'mon Bob, take the photo!" -I bet she never thought this holiday snap would be broadcast around the world....

Aside from the hideous fug in general, what is the green midget doing!???? And why does he look so shocked at what he sees!!!!

Go Judy!

I'll bet that campaign "blew" *chortle chortle*

No look closely. At the crotch (you know you were looking there already) slightly to the right. Is that poking OUT??????