The customer is NOT always right

Oh god, its every awful retail story you can imagine, collected together at a site called Not Always Right. I haven't been able to stop reading since Evil HR Lady mentioned it on her blog.

Here's a couple of good ones

Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2

Library | London, UK

(A customer comes to the counter to borrow a DVD, I go into the back and get the one he wants, and all seems normal…)

Me: “May I have your card?”

Customer: *presents a bank card*

Me:  ”I mean your library card.”

Customer: “You mean I can’t buy it?”

Me:  ”No, you can only borrow from a library.  You can buy DVDs in the shop around the corner.

Customer:  ”Oh…. so I can’t buy it here? I have to borrow it?”

Me:  ”Yep.”

Customer: “I wanted to buy it.”

Me: “You can only buy it from shops.  Are you a member of the
library?

Customer: “No, I wanted to buy this DVD.”

Me: “You can’t buy things here, you can only borrow things when you’re a member.”

(By this point there is quite a long queue behind him, so I ring the bell for assistance.)

Customer:  ”What’s that bell for? Is it for getting a copy I can buy?”

Me:  ”No, it’s to get assistance for the other readers.  If you’d like to buy a DVD, I’d strongly suggest you go elsewhere. ”

Customer: “So I can’t buy it?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: *pauses* “Oh… I wanted to buy it.”  (After one more pause, he finally leaves.)

Related:
Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition
I Think She Wants A Discount

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Was It Something I Said

Phone Company | Las Vegas, NV, USA

Me: “411 Information.”
Customer: “Wait a minute…”
*papers rustling around*
Customer: “I thought I had that here…”
*long pause, more rustling*
Customer: “Just a sec…”
*several seconds of silence*
Customer: “Never mind, you sound stupid.”
*hangs up*

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And the Most popular post on the site (most Thumbs Up)

Mission: Impossible

Key Shop | Chicago, IL, USA

Customer: “I just locked my key in my car in front of the shop.”
Me: (I pick up some stuff) “Not a problem, I’ll pop it open for $5.00.”
Customer: “What are you going to do with that stuff?”
Me: “Open your car.”
Customer: “It’s a brand new Mercedes. I just drove it here from the dealer–you can’t touch it!”
Me: “Then how do I open it?”
Customer: “That’s your problem.”
Me: “Actually it’s not; I didn’t lock the key in your car.”
Customer: “You have to open it.”
Me: “Watch me not open it.”
Customer: “OK then, but if you make any scratch or mark at all then you will have to pay Mercedes to repaint the whole car. That will cost thousands.”
Me: “So If I’m successful I get $5.00, but if I make the smallest error it will cost me thousands of dollars?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Me: “Your car might just be there forever.”

(There is even a T-shirt dedicated to this one)

From the Not Always Right store:    
Your Car Might Just
Be There Forever Tee

 

Warning-If you go there, you may ALSO be tempted to read ALL the archives compulisvely.

Especially if you have worked in retail with the morons we call customers.