I don't know how she does it...

I have a cousin, who shall remain nameless, but she is welcome to disgrace herself in comments, by 'fessing up. This cousin, is somewhat known for caring little for her possessions. At least, that's what mothers say when 5-year-olds leave their belongings everywhere, its almost a threat, if you don't remember to take care of your things, you shan't be allowed to keep that sparkly lip gloss you left at Sophie's house.

So, dear cousin has made a name for herself within the family (and probably her friends, I can't imagine this behaviour is isolated to us). She appears to be physically incapable of taking everything she brought with her, away again. Yes, my home has been known to be littered with forgotten belongings; cardies, earrings, electronic devices.

These belongings are sort of on a sliding scale of importance in how much they will be missed by said cousin.
Red Cardigan? So important to wardrobe functioning, that it was required to be express posted back to her, as she could not wait the 7 days until we saw each other again, and I could return it.
Pink jacket? Not so loved. It languished at our place for two weeks until return.
There have been occasions when we've done a baggage check before leaving, double checking she's got everything. An hour later : "can you check if I left my makeup in the bathroom?"...wander into bathroom, we have a winner. We've had instances where the bag check was complete, and then she managed to leave her jacket in the car!
Its almost become a game, and we are merciless in ribbing her about it. She's only got herself to blame however, and I've reached a point where I think "I don't know how she does it...she doesn't bring that much stuff with her!"
Alas, I have made myself into such a spectacle with my in-laws.
I have morphed into the kind of person who should start to carry her car and house keys on a chain around her neck, 24/7.
I've left my keys at shop counters. I've locked them in the house. I've been "unable" to find them, only to have M rifle through my bag again and find them in the mire. My (until today) most recent episode, I lost them. Somewhere between the parking garage at home, and the shops, I lost my house keys. I don't know how it happened, I thought they were in my bag, I had them when I went to the gym in the morning, and then IN the garage. But when I got the shopping to my door, they were nowhere to be found.

This was a disaster. It was a Saturday, M was at work and I had been food shopping, expecting friends through the door at home for a casual luncheon in the sun, a mere ten minutes after I arrived (yes, I was cutting it fine already). I had to leave my shopping on the floor in front of our door, and pray no one in the building stole it, while I ducked around to my in-laws.

And this is where they enter the scene. Everytime I've fucked up with my keys, I've had to call them because they are less than five minutes away, and they have our spares. One time, I managed to lock myself out of the house before work, and had to call my brother in law (asleep) to drive them around to me (miracle I had my phone on me). So on this occasion, I rang them, determined they were home, and dashed around to collect their spares so I could let myself in, all the while they're shaking their heads at me.

Which brings me to today. Today, I somehow managed to set the alarm, leave the apartment, get half way down the stairs, before I realised I didn't have my keys with me. How on earth did I manage to NOT pickup my keys on the way out the door?
I baffle myself with how I manage these things! Leaving the house is one of those things you do on automatic pilot, and the keys are directly above the alarm panel!

I quickly considered and rejected a hysterical, essentially useless, phone call to M, who is certainly by now, already at work, no where near me. I determine I need to move my ass, and walk to the bus stop and catch a bus to work, figuring I will organise getting home later.
Re-enter in-laws.
Easiest option is to get my mother-in-law to pick me up from work, as she is nearby, and get M to pick me up from there this evening. While this is easiest, this path is also the most shameful, as I re-affirm for them, that I am somehow incapable of managing my keys, in the simplest of situations.

*sigh* cue the jokes again...