Paper Envy

Decided I would take myself to breakfast Saturday morning. Woke late(ish), and went to the gym, M was working so I had only myself to amuse. By the time I finished a good session at the gym, I was nearing lunch, but feeling like breakfast, so went to Coffee Club, which does all-day breakfast, then thought I would do some leisurely shopping afterward.

I had initally intended to read the paper whilst at the cafe, but when I arrived all the national papers were "out" at other tables and I wasn't as interested in the local paper as the World News. I did that hemming and hawing thing, thinking

"do I REALLY need a paper?"...
..."oh well I could play with my phone instead"
"don't be daft, you're not at a bar, sipping a vodka, waiting for a friend, you can't play with your phone while you eat"...
..."oh don't be such a ninny, just go and BUY a paper"
"oh but the newsagents is all the way over there"...
..."but then I'll lose my place in line"

In the end, I walked out of the line, and went and bought the Saturday edition of the SMH. If you're not a reader/buyer of the SMH Weekend edition, its a monster paper. So much so, it actually sits in two piles at the newsagents (and I almost walked out with only one section, I wonder how many people get ripped off without knowing what they're missing).

I got back to Coffee Club, ordered and sat down with my paper. I flicked through the sections, before deciding which to start with (Barack Obama piece), and set the rest of the paper down on the other side of the table. As I did this, it was lunch time pretty much (I did admit it was lateish) and there were increasingly more people taking seats and placing orders etc etc. As I read, I slowly realised that a LOT of the tables settling in were eyeing off my paper. One woman who was rifling through the stack near the counter, kept glancing at me, almost glaring!
Since I wasn't sporting a swastika or swear word on my t-shirt, or wearing hot pants and hooker heels, I can think of no other reason for her behaviour!
After that, I felt compelled to look up everytime I noticed someone near the newspapers, and they were always kind of looking my way, coveting my paper!
I felt like standing up and shouting "I PAID FOR THIS! IT'S MINE YOU BASTARDS!"

In the end I didn't, but I was terrified to move after that. I didn't want to leave my paper unattended, for fear someone would pounce on it, but I didn't want to take it with me to the counter, that would look ridiculous.
So where I would probably have ordered another coffee and continued to sit reading, I didn't, as CC only operate under "Order at Counter" not table service.

After I finished eating, I carefully packed up my paper, taking care to make it look neat, and tucked it under my arm, scurrying away out the side door, avoiding eye contact with anyone.