Cops are Tops

I had all these cool and insightful things to say, and I was thinking about them all on the way home last night, and then like I totally forgot them.

In other news.....

~Last night I had my first ever Random Breath Test! It was quarter to 12, I was in the backstreets of West Pennant Hills, had just passed through Coonara Ave roundabout heading to Castle Hill Rd when the paddy wagon passed me in the opposite direction. We were the only two cars on the road so I actually wasn't surprised in the least when I saw them do a U-ey {what is the spelling of this term? Uie? Uy? Youey?} at the roundabout and come back up behind me, where I was dutifully crawling along at 50 km/h for this precise purpose. What I did think was weird though was the first cop gets out the passenger side with his maglite and starts shining it in at all the absolute crap in my backseat, as if there was Smack in a nicely labelled ziplock bag underneath stray books, wedding magazines, beer soaked tea towels and crusty food wrappers. Sadly he was disappointed my '87 Laser wasn't the hydroponic haven he thought he saw when we passed that obviously warranted them speeding up behind me as they neared. AND they flashed their lights at me.

~I thought it was funny though, after a Law Enforcement drought in the Dataceptionist camp, they were actually the second encounter I had with the Boys in Blue yesterday. The first was Eastwood police coming into work to take a statement as we had some equipment stolen over the weekend. Hilariously, the officer that came in had the same name as my Sweet Fiancee!!!! It was really funny because I saw his badge and then stupidly, moronically said to him "is that your name!?", as if he was going to then tell me it wasn't really, he was actually Elton John undercover.

Insanity and Banality at work

In other news, the September Awkward Office Social Event draws ever nearer. This event caps off the month that has basically been an Office Awkwardness extravaganza. With numerous people leaving the company and a disturbing amount of birthdays, it feels like we have been having dicky little cake ceremonies almost every day of the week. Now I for one am all for cake, don’t get me wrong. But people, hear my plea. The human body was not meant to ingest this much butter and sugar in this short a time. One might argue that no one forced me to eat all this cake, but then again when faced with the prospect of making conversation at one of these nightmares you can see how stuffing one’s face full of cake quickly becomes the only option available. I am facing the unhappy prospect of being not only perpetually awkward, but fat. If we are going to be fat I propose that we do away with the pretence of ‘birthdays’ and ‘farewells’ altogether and just install a giant vat of molten chocolate (Max Brenner’s style) next to the water cooler and be done with it. Then we can just have our fat and sugar hit in peace without all that unnecessary ‘interaction’.

From the ever funny Billylou over at Insanity and Banality, and so true.

525600 minutes, how do you measure, measure a year...

935 hours
53 minutes
hahaha I know that's weird.

How people got to me! ~XI

You know I'm almost feeling like I'll wind down this segment, I just don't seem to be attracting new viewers! Maybe I need to throw in some interesting strings like "George Bush Pamela Anderson" or "sex and red wine increased metabolism" or "closet gays now to join Republican movement" "blondes or brunettes-which keeps going longer?".... We'll never really know will we...
So to recap- nothing new to report, but maybe next week will be a different story!!! : )

Krispy Kreme disgustingness continued

Ew ew and ew. As if it couldn't get worse. Behold-

The Krispy Kreme Wedding cake.

Well at least it's safe.....

After ther last dismal failure at "Guess what this dress is made of" I'm just going to come out and tell you what it's made of!
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After some fun and a teeny bit of suspense at least.
It's made of Condoms! Indeed!! Just think girls!! How fun could that have been!!! And we could have used flavours! Or glow in the dark ones!! Oh what could have been....
*cough* not that I'd know about Condom range......

only 50 days to go!!!

Bummer of a Tattoo

This guy had what he thought was a great tattoo... until he wound up being sent to prison on an unrelated charge. Now he's...


THE MOST POPULAR GUY IN PRISON

Fall back! Fall back

I spoke to a guy on the phone today, took a message from him, and when I asked what his name was, he said Minas! So I was like, hehehe, like Minas Tirith? you know, Minas Morgul? And he was all like, errr....right... And moved right on! Hahahahaha!!
Well I thought it was funny anyway.....

How people got to me! ~X

Hi Ho, Ho hum, now get up off your bum.....do do do do do do do do.... and so on and so forth.

Now, to the actualy business at hand,

• Lots of Dolly How Embarrassment searches. The odd thing about this I find is how often could the average person really want this information?
• More of the same old same-old
• not much blog love this week really.... Meeee........

Land of the Giants

Today we watched a really good program called Land of the Giants. It was about the ancient forests of Tasmania, some of which we've seen. This shot here <--- is Mark in front of one of the smaller trees we saw on our trip in January this year. We had others but I can't find them in soft copy right now....
Anyway, this program was about how they're cutting down all the ancient forests and turning them into woodchips!

New horizons?

Well. I just got offered a job! More info as it comes to hand....

Crikey-isn't that what this post SHOULD be called?

Well I'll bend to public pressure and jump on the Steve-I'm-the-typical-Aussie-bloke-Irwin bandwagon.

Wah wah, he's dead.

Oh the irony that he was killed by a stringray and not his precious crocs.

Oh the pain and anguish.

wah wah

oh life is not worth living.

the agony the agony

Between the Bingles and the Irwins, Australia may as well pack up it's multiculturalism and bow down in homage to the Occa nature that dwells within us all (apparently).

The fact that my fiancee drinks VB and drives a Ute and my father wears Stubbies 24 x 7 (wears not drinks) bears nothing upon this discussion whatsoever......

Two Months to go!!

beautiful dresses

What do all these dresses have in common? Comment with your guess!

How people got to me! ~IX

Well this week it's a bit thin on the ground with new referrals, it's all the usual suspects; Oddlight, Brown Couch, flattire, girlspoke, and such like and so forth. -However-

• Google UK search on Wedding bits, could this be Ezzica in the land of Black Books and Young ones? Maybe searching for me? Maybe not......
• Hehehe, Google search on "previous moulin rouge example wedding invites". I don't know how they got to me. While I do love Moulin Rouge, I'm not sure I've ever mentioned it on here....so I am assuming I am pages and pages from the front of this search with "wedding invites".
• Dailynooz
• Monkeydonot

So that's all folks...

we're sending our love down the well...

that being the proverbial well of course. All our love to hah. xxx

fug, oh how I love you

now I know not everyone is as familiar with fug as some of you are, but i just love it so darn much.

The concept of Fug comes from all the way back in July 2004, a great little page called "go fug yourself". Now most people when they first hear the word fug, think of a particularly distasteful phrase used by young adult males meaning (and I apologise in advance) F***ing Ugly. This is not the case with the fug we hold dear to our hearts.
From the page itself in the FAQ section,

fug•ly (adj.)frightfully ugly; of or pertaining to something beyond the boundaries of normal unattractiveness. Ex: "That 'Kabbalists Do It Better' trucker hat is fugly."
fug (n.)1. A state of extreme ugliness. Ex: "The level of fug at the Video Music Awards is always hard to stomach."2. A proper name for someone possessed of eternal heinousness, as Chloe Sevigny: "Oh look, there's Fug, looking all miserable and dour in her black turtleneck and white frilly farm dress."
fug•ging (v.) The act of posting on one's blog in order to identify something excruciatingly ugly. Ex: "Hey, I am fugging Li'l Kim again for wearing only a tiny piece of cloth."

And furthur on

2. So "fugly" is like extreme ugliness?
Kind of -- we like to think of "ugly" as something that refers to an unchangeable condition, but also a condition above which people can rise. Fugly, however, is a self-inflicted state, and no one seems to excel at dwelling in the depths of fug quite like
pretty people with money to spare and little sense of how to spend it.
Celebrities are always skipping around in public wearing things that are phenomenally perplexing; as these red-carpet dwellers are often considered trendsetters or bastions of Hip Present and Hip Future, we like to take them to task for careless choices. (Of particular concern: whomever got little girls thinking that miniskirts and Ugg boots were a stellar combination.)

so this really highlights what fug is all about. It's about people that should know better or that pay other people for them to know better.
This is why technically it's unfair to fug (v.) a total stranger as they're filling up at the petrol station, or standing in line at the movies.
But we can't help it. There are certain areas of Sydney that just can't help it, they seem to be a fug mecca. A vertiable plethora of fugs. C'mon people, you've seen it, you know what I mean.
Actually, just yesterday I passed a young woman wearing- *gasp* STIRRUP PANTS. With, I assure you, nary a horse in sight! I can be very sure of this, as it was the Bridal Registry section of David Jones.
So in homage to Fug today, here are some of my favorites, but its a very extensive site and I couldn't find them all.

• Janice Dickinson
• Fug and Becks
• Natalie Cole?
• Lindsay Lohan and Sharon Stone
• All breathtakingly bad

Happy Friday everyone!!

What a nightmare

Caller cancels wedding reception -BBC news
A couple's big day was nearly ruined by a malicious caller who cancelled their wedding reception.

Emma Moschakis went to decorate the Archers Road social club in Southampton on the eve of her wedding only to find someone had cancelled the event. "I just felt sick. I could not believe it was happening and I just ran out the door in tears," she told BBC News.

Family and friends rallied around and another venue was found. Police are now investigating who made the call.

The 25-year-old mother-of-two from Southampton said when staff told her someone had cancelled the event she was left speechless. "A load of emotions ran through me - my mind just blanked."

Her husband Anthony said their friends and family managed to save the day. "We were getting married at 12.30 so we only found out at 11 that everything was sorted and arranged."

The reception on Saturday for 100 people was eventually held at a local restaurant.