M thinks we need one of these

I wonder where you buy these, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Yes, and I think he should get nicked.

Ok no not really.

I can't remember if I told this story, but one night as he was getting into bed, he seriously ran and got the tape measure to prove I was on his side. (I wasn't)
BUT, admittedly, I was RIGHT ON THE LINE. Hahahaha

M has begun the journey of our move. He flew out yesterday morning for the rest of the working week. He'll be living in the hotel down there, which is quite nice apparently. He flies home Friday night for the weekend, and will go back down Monday.

And so begins, yet more nights alone. I hate it hate it hate it. I slept badly last night, and ended up having this weird and freaky dream that an ex-workmate was suddenly the daughter of the people that ran the tennis centre up the road where I got lessons when I was 15.

Hmm. Odd. I don't even want to imagine what this all means for my psyche.

Out unit is on the rental market, another step carrying us away from Sydney. Its starting to all feel very much in motion! The removalists are coming on Friday morning to quote us on packing and shipping all our belongings (paid for by the company yippeee!)

So, yes, its eventful.

Sunrise at our place today

Sunrise, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

I'm going to be really sad to leave our apartment, I totally love it and views like these will be sorely missed.

We're leaving the big smoke!

Well, we're moving out of Sydney. Why, do you ask?

So M can have an enormous shed!

Um. No.

So we can enjoy the peace and serenity?

Sort of.

Mostly its so I can enjoy the convenience of the shops NOT being open on Sundays 

(seriously, I didn't think anywhere did that anymore)

So. yes. Moving. To a country town.

With a pretty lake. 

 And an awesome weir. I love weirs. I have no idea why. 

I think its about the amazing engineering required to control water like that. 

And the idea of all that water being released.

So, thats our news. Please vote in the poll!

Erm. A face a mother could love?

Somehow this is apparently what our future child will look like. Hmmm.....

oops

I fell asleep at Yoga last night.
Kind of embarrassing to wake up and realise everyone else is sitting up and the class is about to end.
I heard her saying "hands to your breastbone.....namaste" and thought
"what? she normally says that at the very end"....
....."oh wait. shit."

And I sat up and everyone else was already sitting with their legs crossed, finished.

How to go Number 2 at work

Sorry for the extremely lowbrow subject matter, but really funny. 

From a discussion on Pooing at work at Punk Rock HR

Linda March 3, 2009 at 2:58 pm

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

We’ve all been there but don’t like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those who are pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for having a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn’t know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

FLY BY: This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom,leave and come back again.
Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee,do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen.If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom.This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
 

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
 

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
 

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N): A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
 

SAFE HAVENS: A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
 

TURD BURGLAR: This is someone who does not realize that you are in the and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
 

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
 

ASTAIRE: An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
 

WATERMELON: A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
 

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
 

UNCLE TODD: An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This per son could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees.
 

Hope the Survival Guide helps, as the WORKPOOP is an inevitable part of life.

Breakaway

Bah, silly bits of fun floating around. 

What does your music library say about you?

*Put Your iTunes, winamp, mp3 player or whatever on SHUFFLE*
For each question, press the next button to get your answer (no cheating!!)
*You must write down song/artist even if it doesn't make sense
*Include any comments in parenthesis
*Post with #25 as your Title

*I'm trying this with my work music, which is limited.

1. What do your friends say about you? The Special Two - Missy Higgins {Hmm. this doesn't bode well. Split personality? Both Special though?}

2. How would your co-workers describe you? Burn for You - John Farnham {completely irrelevant?}

3. How would you describe yourself? The Way I Are - Timbaland feat Keri Hilson {well yeah. I'm the way I...are}

4. What do you like in a romantic partner? All for Believing - Missy Higgins {This sounds really sad and cynical :( }

5. How do you feel today? Going Under - Evanescence {yeah, lot going on at the moment. I suppose I do feel a little like I'm drowning in it}

6. What is your life’s purpose? You're Still the One - Shania Twain {I suppose you could interpret this as no matter what, I will always have my husband? }

7. What is your motto? Don't Give Up - Shannon Noll and Natalie Bassingthwaite {Hey what are the chances! Hilariously though, I'm more of a quitter actually}

8. What do you think about the most? We're coming home - The Rogue Traders {irrelevant?}

9. What are you going to do on your next vacation? Left outside Alone - Anastacia {oh god. I hope not!}

10. What do you think of your first love/date? Greed for Your Love - Missy Higgins {told you it was a limited selection! Hahaha.}

11. What is your life story? Everytime - Britney Spears {I love this song. I think it has no relevance though. She is suddenly making me think of Asaragus though...}

12. What did you do yesterday? Single Ladies (put a ring on it) - Beyonce {I DID NOT!}

13. What do you think of when you see the person you like/love? You're the Voice - John Farnham {!?! Well I suppose he IS good at Karaoke?}

14. What describes your wedding? Not a Day Goes By - Rick Price {Because who DOESN'T Love Rick Price?}

15. What will they play at your funeral? Blow up the Pokies - The Whitlams 

{And I wish I, wish I knew the right words
To make you feel better, walk out of this place
and Defeat them in your secret battle
Show them you can be your own man again}

16. What is your obsession? Since you Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson {Hmmm.....not really?}

17. What is your biggest fear? Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under - Shania Twain {I can honestly say I never ever worry about this (cheating). The previous song perhaps more appropriate? I am terrified of M dying and leaving me a widow. }

18. What is your biggest secret? Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing - Chris Isaak {well Yes. Haven't we all?}

19. What is your biggest turn-on? Nobody Wants to Be Lonely - Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera. {Mmm nothing sexier than rampant desperation in a woman}

20. How do you describe your friends? Castles in the Air - The Hoodoo Gurus {a recent addition to the playlist. From the Bushfire Aid CD, I'm not familiar with it}

21. What would you do with a million dollars? Working Class Man - Jimmy Barnes {Arrgggh I hate JB. This is sort of true though. I'd keep working.}

22. What is your opinion of sex? No Air - Jordin Sparks {I can't breathe properly? Maybe I'm just Stuck in a Moment}

23. What is your biggest regret? Please Stay - Duffy {I don't recall begging anyone to stay. Nor do I regret really NOT asking someone}

24. What would you rather be doing right now?! Radar - Britney Spears {yep. Heaps of sense}

25. What will you post this list as? Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson

you gotta be f%#$ing kidding me right?

Better Off Popular

Lifeguard | Princeton, NJ, USA

(I was lifeguarding and jumped in to help a boy who had wandered into deep water. This interaction happened with his mother after I helped the boy out of the water.)
Mother: *running over* “What happened?!”

Me: “Everything is OK, ma’am. Your son just went too deep into the water. He should be fine.”

Mother: “Well, why the h*** did you help him?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Mother: “Why did you have to jump in and help him?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, it’s my job, and your son was having trouble swimming–”

Mother: *interrupting* “You idiot! You embarrassed my son in front of everyone! Don’t you think you should have thought about how embarrassing that must have been for a little boy?!”

Me: “Actually, no I didn’t think about that. I was more concerned about your son drowning than him being embarrassed.”

Mother: “That’s ridiculous! Why the h*** would you ever be more concerned about THAT?!”

Morning tea!

morning tea!, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

I'm having real trouble today getting motivated to....well anything really. I'm hoping a caffeine and sugar hit might help. Just so.....blah... today.

So Jealous.

I have found that there is a range in the US called M&M's Premiums.  (link needs Flash)

I *wants* some.

Triple Chocolate, Mint Chocolate MOCHA! Raspberry Almond and Chocolate Almond. YUUUUUUUUUM

Did you also know you can get Custom Print M&M's!!! I think its likely to be confined to the States too. Damn I wish I'd found that before our wedding. (I'll just tell myself they weren't available instead)

Best. Cake. Mistake. Ever.

Best. Cake. Mistake. Ever., originally uploaded by ErinsWorld.

From Cake Wrecks and ErinsWorld.

I "wish" they made "more" Novelty Cakes in "Australia"*

I have been crying with laughter for the last two days at work as I read through the archives on Cake Wrecks, a blog dedicated to "When professional cakes go horribly, hilariously wrong."

Thabo's Belly Cake, originally uploaded by Kavingate.

Or theres "does Hallmark even have a herpes section?"

The "Fireman Wang cake"

A cake for every (inappropriate) occassion...

Or see below for Its a Gril!

Congratulations on your WeEding? I cried with laughter over this one. My boss thinks I'm mad.

And of course, the cake that started it all

Bloody funny stuff, and Thanks to K for putting me onto it, through your Blogroll. (Do you know my husband Laughs his heart out when I say that? He goes around telling people how funny it is too. Killing himself with fits of giggles.)

Finally I have made it through the archives, and can return to normal work. Everytime my boss has heard me chuckle in the last few days he's threatened to cut the site off so I can't read it.



*If you've read the site you'll know that there's a lot of unneccessary "quotation" "marks" going on over there.

Top Gear Live - awesome

365_day2

365_day2, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

My First Day - 365 Days

My First Day - 365 Days, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

So, as I mentioned a few posts ago, I'm starting the 365 day project on Flickr, and this is my Day 1 photo. (Yes, a little saturated, what can I say, I love colour)

Feel free to stop by and have a look, I've already found it very challenging. I won't post everyday's photos, I may post none at all. I might just stick with the ones I really love.

My 365 set http://www.flickr.com/photos/dataceptionist/sets/72157613296360914/

Ciao for now!

The only good cockroach...

Cockroach (a.k.a. plantation bug), originally uploaded by slippay.

is a dead one.

I was sitting in my cafe near work yesterday morning, and noticed a cockroach sneaking toward me. I was concerned it was headed right for my table so I continued to watch it until it was right next to my table. As I watched it sort of turned around and then did nothing for a few minutes so I thought I was safe to look back at my book.

When I looked down again I saw that it wasn't there anymore.

THEN I FELT A TICKLE ON MY LEG AND LOOKED DOWN AND IT WAS ON ME.

I was so shocked, I jerked my leg, it flew off and I didn't see it again.

To think that I hadn't squished it immediately as I sort of thought I didn't want to make a scene, and it wasn't "hurting anyone".

SO EW EW EW

Ever since I've been paranoid about feeling any sensation on my legs. Ew ew ew :(

Wingman

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

What punctuation mark are you?

Because I know you're DYING to find out.

You Are a Colon

You are very orderly and fact driven. You aren't concerned much with theories or dreams... only what's true or untrue. You are brilliant and incredibly learned. Anything you know is well researched. You like to make lists and sort through things step by step. You aren't subject to whim or emotions. Your friends see you as a constant source of knowledge and advice. (But they are a little sick of you being right all of the time!) You excel in: Leadership positions You get along best with: The Semi-Colon

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

Pink Wii!

Pink Wii Fit Board cover (1), originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

For Christmas M gave me a pink silicon cover for the Wii fit Balance Board. So here it is, in action!

We're trying to continue to use the Wii, and we're having good success mostly.

We went to a Rock Band party on the weekend and it was much more fun that I expected (the Rock Band part, not the party). Not being terribly musically inclined I wasn't sure it was going to be "my bag" but it was heaps of fun, and according to the game, I am great at singing. Hahahahahaha

Anyone else find this weird?

1233079811152.jpg, originally uploaded by Ríona.

Thanks to Riona.