Breakfast of Champions

Breakfast of Champions, originally uploaded by • w a a •.

Mmm Yum coffee

Nath & Mel

Mark & I @ Nath & Mel's wedding

Mark & I, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

This is the Dress I ended up wearing to the wedding on the weekend. It was gorgeous, Events, and fully lined and boned. I felt bad wearing black, but I got there and there were 3 other girls wearing black too.

It won't happen to me.....

In Sydney's Northern Beaches, the local paper, The Manly Daily in recent times has been focused a lot on a local girl, Annabel Catt, who died from taking a version of Ecstasy. You may be familiar with the coverage when the ABC came under fire earlier this year for airing a show, Summer Heights High, with a similar storyline to Catt's death.

This has been a very emotional issue for the local community, as she was young, only 20, and it has sparked a campaign by her family to try to raise more awareness of the issue, in the same manner as Anna Wood's death did. Anna wood was only 15 when she died, and it was a wake up call to a community that was probably pretending drugs were something junkies did, not schoolgirls. Interestingly, Anna Wood's father thinks its more likely the ABC SHH program was based on his daughter.

Anna Wood would have been 27 now, the same age as my brother.

When I was in Year 8 at school, I was what, 15/16 myself? We actually went to school with the son of Bronwyn Donaghy, who wrote Anna's Story, which is a non-fiction account, posthumously written by taking accounts from her friends and family.
Mrs Donaghy came to a camp we had and spoke about her experience, 3 years earlier, in meeting the Wood family (whom she previously had no connection with) and sharing their pain in losing their daughter in such a senseless way.
The message of the talk was that drugs can kill, and "party" drugs aren't benign, you never know what's in them and the effects can be devastating.

Unfortunately behind the scenes, for 100 school kids, the message was also "what an idiot" and "as if you wouldn't call an ambulance". Everyone walked away thinking, consciously or unconsciously, It Won't Happen To Me.

This week, Annabel Catt's family are trying to raise awareness about drugs, by visiting a primary school to launch the "Keep Aussie Kids Safe" campaign being run by Life Education Australia at all primary. They feel if they share their pain with primary school children and their parents across the nation, they can help others. This is a noble action, and would be great, if it worked.

The problem with these talks, vital as they are, is that they don't really work, and this is the biggest hurdle facing drug education. The most effective lessons about drugs are learnt the hard way- through experience.

It makes me wonder whether the "It Won't Happen To Me" mentality ever goes away. Or does it simply become "It Won't Happen To Us" when we have our own children. When does it develop? I am sure that on some level, primary school age children are still thinking that with "heroes" like Ben Cousins and Andrew Johns popping pills, that if they try one, It Won't Happen To Them. And why wouldn't they?

I'm not saying teenagers are going to be exposed to drugs and they won't have any power to stop them, being the mindless idiots that they are. That's not what I'm saying at all.
But this mentality permeates society and permeates all of our thinking, without really asking for it, because Bad Things Don't Happen To Good People.
And as far as we're all concerned, since we aren't Saddam Hussein, we are all Good People.

People feel sorry for families like the Catt's and the Woods, but secretly they think something "must be wrong in that family". Maybe they don't eat at the table together, maybe their kids are latchkey kids, whatever people's measure of normal, and "right" is, they suspect when something horrendous happens, it must be something in the way the children were raised. This isn't neccessarily true, no matter how children are raised, everyone knows the phrase, Curiosity Killed the Cat. Curiosity is a natural, human reaction to new things.

Annabel Catt's friends, I can guarantee you, will still be taking drugs. Their friend is DEAD, and they'll still be out, popping pills "to deal with it". Because even though it DID happen to their friend, It still Won't Happen To Me.

Fab? Right???

Well I've done it now.

And I kind of liked it.
It was a bit weird at the beginning, I was afraid of trying something new, but the end result has been pleasantly surprising.

That's right, today, I'm wearing my skinny jeans, WITHOUT BOOTS.
I know I am only a hairline away from Emo-Fug (I said a HAIRLINE bitches)...
I KNOW I bought them ONLY for wearing with my boots.
I know I have a horrid problem with them sliding down my backside Resulting in constant tugging, which I can tell you from seeing other girls, is NOT an attractive, sexy look.
BUT!
I seem to have fixed the ass-crack problem, with (I know this sounds ridiculously simple) a BELT!!!
Amazing!Now, I didn't wake up this morning and suddenly feel a compulsion to wear skinny jeans, it was entirely organic I can assure you (without the ridiculous price-tag).
See it was raining this morning and because M took the car I had to catch the bus so I thought oh well I will wear my boots and so I was trying to think of what to wear with my boots and my brain skipped to the skinny jeans so I put them on and was expecting them to be ass-crack central and make me feel really fat as usually I put them on and then I feel really fat and my belly hangs over the top ( i know, that is SUCH an ATTRACTIVE image for you all) but this morning I put them on and then I put the belt on and that seemed to fix the ass crack problem and I was walking around looking for a top (as you do) and I looked in the mirror and thought, maybe I'll just leave them like this, they don't look as bad as previously though (its slippery slope I'm on........*thinking* do tight black shorts that finish just under the knee class as fuggin's............*hmmm*)
And then as I was walking to the bus stop I passed a plate glass window and after thinking they looked just fine with my thongs on........I was gratified to see they DID look just fine!

Out of all the pictures in Googe Image I could have picked for this, I chose this one, even though she's wearing heels and I'm not, because of how uncomfortable the model appears. Like its a Kmart ad, and the model is 15 and just starting out. (I don't want to think about what that infers about the target market for skinny jeans)

{AND I am under no delusions that this is what I look like in MY skinny jeans. }

Since Monday's breakdown, I'm actually feeling a lot better, we've been to the gym a few times, I'm trying to eat better (I've mentally said no to chips three times!) And I feel like it's already working for me! I feel almost normal sized in my skinny jeans (yeah I know, contradiction of terms). So maybe when we're jumping into bikini's for a possible trip to the beach Sunday, I can do it with a modicum of pride. (or less shame).

So many windows!

About this time every week I start to get a strange anxiety.

Every Friday afternoon we shut down our computers, but at night we only turn the monitors off and lock them, so everything I was working on/looking at/reading is still there the next day. But by Thursday, I've got almost a weeks worth of windows open with stuff I'm interested in, and not ready to let go of yet.

I use Firefox as my browser and the format it uses, IE totally ripped off for its latest version. I only have one window open in my task bar, but I can look at up to twenty tabs at a time. Each tab can be a different web address. (Thanks to Zogg for putting me onto Firefox!)

I currently have ten open, one is constantly Gmail, usually I have at least 1 SMH and most days I keep my blog open all day too. The rest are random stuff, sometimes I find sites and I want to blog about stuff on the page so I keep it open until I write the post. Other times its stuff I'm waiting to hear an answer on for some reason. Some are things I know I want to read, I clicked it, I'm sure I'm interested enough to read it, but I can't find the motiviation to go back to the article....

So about this time every week I start to get a strange anxiety, because I know that all the tabs I currently have open need to be dealt with and read and blogged, all before 5 pm on Friday.
I get tense, thinking I won't get through it all.
And this isn't even my job, this is just all the other stuff I do during the day LOL

Surely I'm not alone here...

More Ebay

After Monday's depressing arrival of the dress that became the herald of doom, I got two more dresses that I had ordered.

YAY!
THESE FIT!!!
While I hadn't really lost faith in Ebay as a whole, I'm feeling less rotund. This feeling is assisted by having been to the gym every day this week (I know its only Wednesday, shaddup)
Baby steps people. Baby steps.

**Edit** Btw as you can probably tell, unfortunately the dress code for the wedding we're attending isn't "beach boho chic" or I could wear one of these. The search continues, T-minus-3 days**

When did I get fat? oh wait....then....

*Sigh*

We're going to a wedding this weekend and I decided to try my old friend Ebay for a dress to wear, as I don't want to wear something I already own.
I found a dress I really liked, then discounted it as too expensive.

So I found another one that I thought would be quite good. This one :So it arrived yesterday, and its beautiful, I really like it, its a lovely purple colour and its silky and looks well made.

But it doesn't fit :(

Which is a problem.

Its too small, because I've gotten fat.

In fact we got married last November and in about February we realised we'd both put on weight, so we got stuck in, dieted, I managed to lose about 6-7kgs and was pretty happy. Then I sort of slacked off, stopped going to the gym when Daylight Savings finished and it got darker, and colder, and I holed up in our unit getting fatter and fatter again. Then I looked in the mirror at the beginning of August and thought, hold on! Its going to be Spring soon, and bikini season starts, and I'm all squishy looking.

So I resolved to go back to the gym.

Then I weighed myself, expecting to see the numbers at the same level as in February (pre-diet and weight loss) and was pleasantly surprised to see that I actually was still only a few kilos over my "good" weight from when I sort of trickled off on the exercise (about 11-15 weeks). So what happened? My brain quietly told me I could afford to wait, and not get right back into the diet.

Six weeks later I actually made it back to the gym.

So here I am, M has joined my gym too and we've only managed to go once together (I've been a few times solo).
The problem is that its the end of October and when I weighed myself again on the weekend I am now back to Post-, Wedding/Pre-Diet weight. In eight or nine weeks I seem to have abandoned my good-but-not-great eating habits and I gained the other 4 kg's I had lost.

I infact, feel fatter than ever before, I'm muffin-topping out of all my clothes. I have embraced the Baby-doll top, and the empire line dress because I don't need to try to suck my stomach in, which I am finding increasingly difficult and tiring to do all day.

In the last few weeks I have been unable to fit into the following items of clothing:

• Ebay dress. Size 12.
• Blue and white sundress, which made my boobs do something REALLY weird, dress may also be in cahoots with Nude colour strapless bra, which is showing signs of fatigue, and has been "on its way out" for six months or so. Think this is age related, not fat related however. I KNOW this dress fit me a year ago, its only that old.
  
• Just about all my jeans. I think they are all staging a revolt against me. Slowly slowly I have stopped wearing them, except for this one pair, which are really stretchy (loving them). I am punishing myself today by wearing a non-stretch pair that are cutting my in half as I sit.
  
• A multitude of slim fit tops which have all stopped slim-fitting. Including a heap of singlet tops that are stretch (Lycra if you will) that seem to display my fat rolls for all to see (back and front)
  
• Boardshorts. Are. My. Enemy.
• My pale pink shorts that I love *sniff*
• My pink sundress which is currently making me look like a beached whale.
• My white skirt that sits roughly just under my breasts now in order to zip it up. (not good look. What's worse, is considered wearing it out the other day regardless.
• Green and black dress, usually a solid friend, am afraid it won't zip up now.
  
• Am getting tuck shop arms!!!! (I know this isn't an item of clothing, more a reflection upon anything that I wear that displays them-particularly bad in strapless things)
  

So I'm back on the diet.
Thinking of doing the cabbage soup diet for a kick start, I've actually always liked that soup. Problem is its quite warm for soup.

...............*sigh*

Murder & Deception - Brian Bock ***

A good little collection, best thing about Short stories is you can pickup and put down with ease. Problem when they're all by the same author is that they can get tired. Not the best I've read recently (I'm also trying to get through another two short collections).

3 / 5

Mark taking off in the Red Baron

Not quite up on loading vids to You Tube, this is my first effort :)

Edit** this wasn't working when first loaded, has been updated and should work now, so try again. :)

Mark - Red Baron flight

Mark - Red Baron flight, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Mark in his Flight suit before the acrobatic adventure flight.
More pics on my Flickr.
He wasn't so happy looking at the end....

Mark - Red Baron flight (2)

Mark - Red Baron flight, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Red Baron flight (3)

M - Red Baron flight, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

He was a bit wiped in the end.

Hi

You may have noticed a slight drop in regular posts.
See, the blogosphere is actually quite extensive, when you start reading blogs you can get so caught up in them, there are some that you read that stay with you, and some that make you want to go back and read all the archives (BlankTop Chronicles, Cabblog).

I've been reading blogs lately, not just browsing, but really reading a lot of other blogs. This has unearthed a deep-seated fear in me.
This is my fear-
I'm not very interesting.
I've discovered so many funny, witty, compelling blogs that I feel mine is inferior, and I have lost inspiration for posts. What do I write, that I can am comfortable jettisoning into the blogosphere, that I feel might make a difference?
I'm not sure.
I no longer work with freaks, the people I work with now are quite nice, normal people. People you can have a drink with, without wanting to lace your own beverage with cyanide. So I can't write about them.
My job is actually kind of mind-numbingly-boring presently actually.

I haven't given up, but I've lost a little bit of focus. Hmm.....*musing*

Well this about Sums it up.

My Birthday

My Birthday 07, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Robbie, Toddy and Rach. Kicking on at our place after.

My Birthday libations

My Birthday 07, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Mark, Hayley and Sean. We started with a picnic at Davidson Park underneath the Roseville bridge and then kicked on at our place before moving into Manly.

Birthday Picnic 07

Birthday Picnic 07, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Bathurst 1000 2007 (3)

Bathurst 1000 2007, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Bathurst 1000 2007 (2)

Bathurst 1000 2007, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Bathurst 1000 2007

Bathurst 1000 2007, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Our campsite set up, which was re-jigged as the wind picked up and the clouds rolled in.
See Flickr for more pics.

Chillun

*sigh* I want the babies.
My friend Sonia has just announced she's pregnant, which is fantastic for them.
I don't know how much longer we can hold out!