Metaphors you won't find in the Pulitzer list

(apparently they come from real high school assignments. *pssht* I doubt that though)
... Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
... His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
... She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
... Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
... He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
... The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
... The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
... McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
... Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
... The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
... Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
... They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
... John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
... Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
... The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
... The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
... He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
... It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
... He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.