My name's Dataceptionist, and I'm a Coffee Wanker.


On goes the coffee search, in this difficult post-christmas-working period.

This is today's effort.

I have included the shot below to give perspective. The little cup on the left is the cup I used yesterday to tip my ristretto into. Standard espresso cup.

(Keen observers will note, even though yesterdays coffee was tiny, I still didn't finish it, evidenced by visible remnant in cup.)
So, today's : "regular" takeaway cup used again. X

This one was drinkable though, and I did enjoy it. But I can't really explain fully how much the wrong sized cup detracts from my coffee experience. Ok, this DOES make me sound like a giant coffee wanker, admittedly, but I think you have to be a bit of a coffee wanker if you're drinking short coffee. It's either good or bad, there isn't a lot of room for error. When you've only got 60mL or so to impress, you need to produce goddamit!

In other news, I think you will enjoy this blog I was put onto, as much as I do. Its by a Barista in a 24hr Sydney Cafe. Good writing style, good content. I've enjoyed it since I started reading.
So Check out Graveyard Barista

Billylou I am totally feeling you on the $3 for bad coffee thing.
I didn't mention in yesterday's post about the cost because it seemed a trifling isolated incident, but now, two days in a row, I have paid more than the menu price at two seperate places, which annoys me!

Yesterday's coffee on the laminated table menu (as opposed to the non-existant menu board) said $2.20 for a macchiato, which I must say I was really impressed with, and he could have had a returning customer if the coffee had been even passable, for price alone. He then proceeded to charge me $2.80??? I was just confused, as usually it's DINE-In that is more expensive (and we won't mention that I then got less coffee than expected for the price???).

Then today, I looked again at a table menu, to check out their breakfasts, {as discussed yesterday I do love a good brekky}, and I noticed (having already paid) that I was charged $3, which I feel is overpriced for a small coffee, the large flat white I ordered at the same time was only $3.30 but the menu price for my coffee dine in was $2.50!

So that's a X against them there too.
The hunt continues.....

4 kindred spirits ~ This bugs them too!:

Anonymous said...
January 09, 2008 5:44 AM

OK. I too am a bit of a coffee wanker, so I have a couple of things to say too.

I BLOODY HATE IT WHEN THEY GIVE ME MY ESPRESSO IN A GIANT CUP. It tastes different, or something. But really, you do feel like a 5 year old when you're trying to drink. Also there's the added surface area for wastage to take into account, small cups don't hold as much coffee on the sides as big cups do. Oh yeah, AND you don't get to feel like a proper wanker/sophisticated and cultured lady when sipping dribbles out of the bottom of the cup like you are trying to get your money's worth.
As for the menu price thing, I would pick them up on it! Particularly since 50c out of the original $2.50 is a whole 20% they've just whacked on for their own amusement!! Or they are complete morons. It doesn't seem too much but they shouldn't be able to get away with it, especially not if you have a bigger sized coffee on your bill to compare to as well. Grrrr.
About the coffee not being nice....well, I don't know what to say to a person who has an espresso machine at home?? Make a better one yourself? I know the trauma of having to drink bad coffee...I am currently in America after all! (Kwaffee is merely a descriptive term for what they drink here, its more like a brown hot liquid, which bears some resemblance in looks and smell to coffee, but should by no means be mistaken for the actual thing)

I wish you well, although I will lose sympathy if you persist in going to the big cup espresso (read : We Don't Care What It Tastes Like We Only Sell It Because People Sometimes Ask For It) place and give them any more of your hard earned dollars.

PS if you need any tips on what to do when not at work, you know my number.....

Dataceptionist said...
January 09, 2008 10:32 AM

Well. See even though we have an espresso machine at home, I don't know how to use it.
When we were registering for wedding gifts at David Jones, Mark got all excited about getting a coffee maker.
He doesn't drink coffee, but during a stint in a bar during Uni he became quite a little barista and he said if we got it, he would make the coffee.
This was our agreement.
As such, I don't make coffee in the morning, I buy it, as Mark is long gone by the time I get up.
So our machine really only gets a workout on the weekends and if we have company. Usually if we have people for dinner or at breakfasts when we have bacon and eggs, yum!

The other thing is that the machine we have at home doesn't make as good coffee as a commercial machine. Its not our machine's fault (or the barista's), its simply that the smaller machines can't get the same pressure the big ones can. While this isn't as big a deal with say a Cappucino or Flat white, in a strong small coffee it can make a world of difference.

Anonymous said...
January 09, 2008 5:30 PM

LOL yes as evident by my Chrissy gift to Mark (for those NOT IN THE BLOODY COUNTRY, I gave him some cappucino stencils) we didn't know he didn't actually drink the stuff and I decided to give him a somewhat tongue in cheek gift.

Glenn said...
January 15, 2008 3:03 AM

Hmmm... maybe you should switch to TEA. Heheh... Hi there, remember me?
It's late at night and I sneaking through your blog, stealing your lyrical underpants off the line.
Hope all's well sugar. Looks like your Graveyard Barista link be broked, try instead.

mwah mwah.


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