I will also take a magical coat

If That Doesn’t Work, Try Hogwarts

Clothing Store
Manchester, UK


Customer: “Oi you! I need a coat and it’s not here!”


Me: “Certainly miss, do you have the catalogue number?”


Customer: “No! I’ve told you it’s not here!”


Me: “Okay, describe it.”


Customer: “I want one that will keep me dry and warm in winter, but cool in summer.”


Me: “Sorry, we don’t stock magic coats.”


Customer: “Well, where could I f***ing find one like it?!”


Me: “… Narnia?”

7 Deadly Sins (of Style)

As Per Trinny & Susannah 

(Reproduced From Marie Claire April 08) 

ENVY

aka "Stealing your Best Friends Style"

Everyone has one - a fashionable friend who just can't seem to put a Jimmy Choo clad foot wrong. But trying to copy a friend's entire style can have a disastrous result if you have different body shapes or colouring. "Its about dressing for YOUR body shape, not trying to emulate the style of someone else"

~

I admit I have to catch myself when admiring even some random girl on the street. If I realise I'm coveting he look primarily because she's got little boobs/20 kg lighter than me/cocoa-coloured skin, I have to stop looking because i'm NEVER going to look like her!

WRATH

Aka "Hating - and hiding - your figure"

Everyone has hangups about parts of their bodies. Susannah recommends you identify your shape and dress accordingly. Looking stylish is as much about knowing what not to wear as knowing what suits you. Eg cropped jackets leave a thick waist exposed. Opt for a tailored waist instead.

~

I admit this is painfully obvious with a large bust. You just have to give up on lots of pretty tops and dresses if they can't accommodate a bra strap. For me this concept is crystallised in the shunning of "in" fashion when it doesn't suit you at all. Just because skinny jeans are in, doesn't mean all body shapes can wear them (or should!)

GREED

aka "Growing out of your clothes - but refusing to admit it"

Fitting into a size 10 in one shop doesn't mean you;ll be the same size in another so swallow you pride and opt or a bigger fit if necessary. Trinny says a tiny top won't make you look smaller, if will do nothing except highlight every fold of fat on your body, front and back.

~

I have probably been guilty of this, but then, who can afford to replace all their clothes all the time? We just hope we'll fit back into them eventually! I suppose the practical lesson here is not to wear the clothes in the mean time!

GLUTTONY

aka "Cramming your cupboards with too many clothes"

Five identical black skirts are no use if you have nothing to go with them. Trinny suggests sorting your wardrobe each season and listing anything that's missing. Keep that list in your handbag and it will help you focus when you're shopping.

~

I am totally guilty of this one. I have so many clothes its ridiculous. M often jokes to our friends that of the two full length wardrobes in our unit, he has 1/4 of ONE of them, and I have the rest (disgustingly only a slight exaggeration). 

My mother gave me a good tool once, (she'd do well to employ it in her own wardrobe) that goes even beyond Trinny's suggestion above. At the end of each season, go through your wardrobe and everything you didn't wear that season, throw out/give to Vinny's. Obviously you didn't choose to wear it at some point in those six months for a reason, so get rid of it. 

Another way to keep on top of this method in your hanging space is to line up all your clothes, and as you wear them/wash/rehang, hang at the far right. Soon all the clothes you never wear will be languishing down the left side, and as before, at end-of-season, throw them away.

I definitely do the cull at end of season, you can even give the bags to friends before Vinny's to see if they want anything, but often the things I get rid of are so awful I can't bear to show them to people!!

LUST

aka "Discarding anything without a designer label"

Designer clothes are fun in moderation, but when the latest sunglasses, trainers, hat and coat are worn en masse it becomes too much. Clothes should revea your own personal "flair and individuality" - not someone else's, even if they are a famous fashion designer.

~

I honestly could not name a single girl/guy I know that would do this. Hell I hardly know anyone that could claim more than a single "designer" item, so this seems ridiculous.

SLOTH

aka "Slipping into sloppy dressing habits"

Chipped nail polish, dirty or broken fingernails and messy hair are the three biggest culprits when it comes to sloppy dressing. Trinny warns that these  small details make a difference - especially to employers.

~

Hmm, this one seems to be stretching the "sins" theme a bit. I don't really look to Trinny & Susannah for work habit tips either...

PRIDE

aka "Leaving nothing to the imagination"

Just because you've got it doesn't mean you have to flaunt it. Too-revealing clothes are a common fashion crime.

~

Agreed.

English people are weird

I have heard, on more than one occassion that Australians are in denial about the weather. Some people think we pretend its not cold, shirking warm clothing for thongs and singlets. While this is not always true, I agree with it for the most part. The sunday before we flew out of Sydney, the sun came out and I perservered with shorts, for the first time in 3 months or so. It was awesome, for about 12 seconds, and then the sun went behind a cloud, I put a jacket on, and it felt less like summer after all.

Me at Tower Bridge. Loved it.

The point is, I think English people do the exact same thing : in reverse. The convince themselves its really not that hot!
Our first full day in London, it was gorgeous weather. We walked the banks of the Thames, being utter tourists, but it almost felt like we could be at home, most definitely a bare legs day, thongs and sunscreen.
But the "natives" were all walking around like it was 10 degrees colder than it actually was. I think it hit 25-26 degrees and I spotted a woman in Ugg boots (sheepskin slipper boots).
It was insane! And people were carrying coats everywhere!! Nuts.
Sadly we even saw a little boy, whose parents were only wearing T-shirts, but for some reason they thought he needed a woolen vest. I assure you he did NOT.
I think I mostly found it weird because we're just leaving winter at home, and they're just leaving summer, but they were wearing very similar things. Jeans and boots, knitwear etc. Scarves!

We managed to squeeze in a Soccer/Football game while we were away also, and that was great.

 West Ham United vs Blackburn.

The atmosphere was just incredible, and one of the things I was amazed by was the tiny number of spectators for the other team. Go to an NRL game in Australia and the ground might be 60/40 home to away. But in a ground of 33,000 people that turned out for a regular round match of soccer, there would have been lucky to be 1,000 supporters for the other side. Their section wasn't even full.

The "away" supporters at the game 

Oh yes, Section. They're not allowed to sit together! The black mesh in this photo spanned about 5 rows of seats, (its not standing up) and there were police all over the section too. Crazy!

The other amazing thing was that we were at West Ham for the ground, and its Suburban! 33,000 had to then catch the train back to wherever they came from and they have it so wel worked out we were on a train within 20 minutes of leaving the stadium. That would NEVER happen in Sydney. We're very impressed with the Tube system!

Bags! Shoes! Tops! Skirts! Bargains! Bargains!

I am a massive bargain shopper now. This purse/clutch/piss strap bag? $3 at Equip. Its metallic purple and its COOL.

These earrings? $3.

Shoes? $9.95.

I'm a mad shopper, but the only way I can afford to, is to buy the absolute cheapest things I can find, so I don't feel horribly guilty.
This does establish a trap of sorts however, as it becomes a case of "but its ONLY $2!" How can I NOT own that for a measly $2?! Look at the value!!!
My sister has been a bargain hunter from way back. I remember when stores like SES and Valleygirl were beginning to pop up, you know the type, import a million of the same thing in different colours from Asia and sell at ridiculously low prices. They're quite common now but they were only hitting their stride not 5 years ago, and my sister was forever buying things, coming home and saying "this was only $10!" when the same jumper at another store was going for $30.
At the time, I was single, living at home, carefree to the point of careless with my money.
I would think absolutely nothing of going to work wearing say a singlet top, and buying a button down shirt when I got to work simply because I was "sick" of everything I already owned OR because I hadn't bothered to iron anything.
I had many a night out wearing a top I'd bought just that day, for the sake of wearing something new.
I actually recall when I first started dating M, I made sure he didn't see me in the same outfit (or single item of clothing) for months! I still do that to a degree with some people I meet.

Now they're saying its such a problem with young women and girls, that they're only wearing things once or twice before sending them to landfill. Apparently I buy 129 items of clothing a year. Holy cow....

Gisele Bundchen in raunchy denim?

Yes I know normally denim isn't exactly known for va-voom factor. More mucking out stables, akubras in the country and muffin topping in the city. But it can be sexy, especially when worn by one of the sexiest women in the world. No, not Angelina Jolie, I cannot stand her, but that is a gripe for another day.

Gisele Bundchen has posed for Italian photog Mario Testino, but I can't say I think all the shots are that great.

In what world are these anything but

ASSLESS Chaps?

Plumbers Crack?

A very badly made jacket?