WM over extends
Posted in freaks, Work on by
This morning I recieved bizarr-o phone call from WM. He proceeds to tell me he'll be onsite for the next week. We already had his mobile number so I didn't need anymore information. I asked if he needed to speak to another member of his team, he said no and then we rang off. The tone is hard to convey, but it was all weird. A typical WM tone though.
Minutes later I recieve this
This pure fiction being passed as fact; the two other people in his team actually being the Joint Partner Account Managers and he being a lowly telephony assistant. Hilarious that he should over extend his station so spectacularly.
So I naturally passed this email to the individual in question, referred to as not knowing the products or solutions, and he and his partner had a great old laugh about it. He then spoke to his manager (and he has a laugh) and they're going to have a meeting all about it when WM returns to the office. So funny but. Mainly because he put himself in this position!
Minutes later I recieve this
Hi,
Just clearing up a bit of confusion, I know a few of the girls think that ***** is the manager, however, in reality.(sic) We all report into **-**. As of about 3 weeks ago I went permanent and was given full responibility for marketing of ### products
for (company). ****** I report into twice each week.
**** has been told that he will be the business manager and we are settling this in now..................***** just sends out promotional material supplied by ###.
If anyone is inquiring about ### please direct them to either ***** or myself as ***** doesn't know the products or the solutions.
Take care,
(WM)
This pure fiction being passed as fact; the two other people in his team actually being the Joint Partner Account Managers and he being a lowly telephony assistant. Hilarious that he should over extend his station so spectacularly.
So I naturally passed this email to the individual in question, referred to as not knowing the products or solutions, and he and his partner had a great old laugh about it. He then spoke to his manager (and he has a laugh) and they're going to have a meeting all about it when WM returns to the office. So funny but. Mainly because he put himself in this position!
Oh the hilarity.
Sand and fun and certain death
Posted in cars, funny, Misc on by
So my Darling Bf decided to take us Beach 4WDing up at Stockton Beach near Nelson Bay. I thought-Great! That sounds like fun! He always seems to have a good time when he does that. So woo! So Saturday morning we set off up the coast. We get to the spot and he jumps out of the car to lock in the 4WDing bit and to let the tyres down a bit, as he told me the less pressure you have in your tyres the greater the surface area. While this makes sense to me once explained I was interested to hear it, and would never have thought of it myself. I was feeling a little hung over from the previous night at The Mean Fuggler so I had already consumed a bottle of juice and some water, and while he was doing this I considered jumping out of the car and having a squat behind some spinifex, but decided against it as I was not confident of privacy!
So He jumps back in the car and off we go down the trail. We hit the sandy part and theres lots of bumps and I'm considering putting my seat belt back on cos we're gettting some air! So I'm being tossed about like a sack of potatoes and I say to him, So the trick is really just to keep on moving? Which he affirmed, yes.
I should never have spoken. I believe this was the kiss of death for us, as only moments later we got bogged. He didn't seem overly concerned however and jumped out to do whatever it is you do to get us un-stuck. I was slightly concerned as its all single lane and was worried people would come up behind us to get by and get bogged themselves, but it was all cool.
So my lovely man keeps getting in and out of the car, doing stuff, kicking the sand away from the tyres, letting the pressure down a smidgen more etc etc, gettting the car to move just a bit backwards, we're not really going anywhere but when he jumps in and indicates we're now in position!
Pointed straight at a tree.
I wasn't feeling confident until a realised he intended to winch us out. So phew! Relief!
Short lived however. Until this point I was happily sitting in the car, not much I could do, and the arrangement worked fine as it was really hot outside. But I needed to get out and help with the winching, so I jumped out without my thongs because I didn't want them getting dirty. BIG MISTAKE! After a few seconds in the sand my feet we're scorched! The sand had dirt through it and so was a darker colour and attracted more heat. So while I was trying to be helpful and keep the line taut I had to keep jumping around trying to find shade. Needless to say he wasn't terribly happy as I wasn't really helping. So I got told to get my thongs but they didn't really help much and my feet hurt sooooo much.
I jumped back in the car and another car passed us going the other way, asked if we were right, and (we) said we were fine so they went on their way. We wrestled with the winch for a little while, then unclipped it from the tree which I saw as progress, thinking this meant we were on the way. But no. We went forwards, we went backwards, we ended up way back from where we started. Darling Bf was dripping with sweat from the stress and heat. Then he asked me to jump in the drivers seat (eek!) and just "do what I was doing-Rev the fuck out of it and try to take off in first-" so I did this, he stood outside and tried to see what was happening, if the wheels were actually moving and what have you. It seemed to be going well, I was revving, he was trying to push the tyre, then he moved around the Left side of the car and suddenly-Whoa Whoa Stop stop Something's smoking! And I'm like, SHIT why does this happen the moment I get behind the wheel!? It smelled really bad and he's talking oh shit have we broken the Diff (-Zogg Jones)
And it seems something maybe seriously wrong. Crap.
Then another car came up to pass us except he didn't have enough room as we'd moved from our original bog-spot. So he had to stop and ended up being a lovely gent who helped us and we asked what pressure his tyres were on and ours were ten pound higher than his so we let even more air out of them (with this really nifty looking hand held pressure gauge thingy-I felt very Indiana Jones/Bond-y) and HEY! we were moving again! This whole debacle took approx 30-45 mins, so we weren't off to a great start.
I wasn't overly worried though as I always thought someone could tow us back out the track if it was really neccesary. After moving through the track effectively we moved into the dune area which looked ok, except it kept rising and falling alarmingly and we had to keep reversing and going forward and reversing for a long way and as you know, I don't exactly have nerves of steel to begin with, so after the bogging episode I wasn't feeling great about the expedition and then....
we were doing the driving thing and I look out the window and see this massive embankment/dune and there were tyre tracks going vertically up/down it and I'm thinking Dear God please don't take us down that I will positively shit my pants
-thankfully we didn't, but we headed up over a small rise and what goes up must come down so we were going down the other side but we were sort of driving at a side angle when the car got stuck and everytime we tried to move the wheels would sort of slide down the slope and I'm thinking Shit, we're going to roll down the hill And unbeknownst to me, HE'S THINKING THE SAME THING! Bf was leaning right over to my side of the car but was handling things nicely and so I was trying to keep calm for his sake and thankfully we got out again, but after that I'd pretty much had enough excitement for the day.
Thankfully we had no more episodes after that and got on the beach near the water, out of the dunes and had a fun time driving along on the nice hard sand. Any more dune shennanigans that might have been were put to bed before they even started.
So He jumps back in the car and off we go down the trail. We hit the sandy part and theres lots of bumps and I'm considering putting my seat belt back on cos we're gettting some air! So I'm being tossed about like a sack of potatoes and I say to him, So the trick is really just to keep on moving? Which he affirmed, yes.
I should never have spoken. I believe this was the kiss of death for us, as only moments later we got bogged. He didn't seem overly concerned however and jumped out to do whatever it is you do to get us un-stuck. I was slightly concerned as its all single lane and was worried people would come up behind us to get by and get bogged themselves, but it was all cool.
So my lovely man keeps getting in and out of the car, doing stuff, kicking the sand away from the tyres, letting the pressure down a smidgen more etc etc, gettting the car to move just a bit backwards, we're not really going anywhere but when he jumps in and indicates we're now in position!
Pointed straight at a tree.
I wasn't feeling confident until a realised he intended to winch us out. So phew! Relief!
Short lived however. Until this point I was happily sitting in the car, not much I could do, and the arrangement worked fine as it was really hot outside. But I needed to get out and help with the winching, so I jumped out without my thongs because I didn't want them getting dirty. BIG MISTAKE! After a few seconds in the sand my feet we're scorched! The sand had dirt through it and so was a darker colour and attracted more heat. So while I was trying to be helpful and keep the line taut I had to keep jumping around trying to find shade. Needless to say he wasn't terribly happy as I wasn't really helping. So I got told to get my thongs but they didn't really help much and my feet hurt sooooo much.
I jumped back in the car and another car passed us going the other way, asked if we were right, and (we) said we were fine so they went on their way. We wrestled with the winch for a little while, then unclipped it from the tree which I saw as progress, thinking this meant we were on the way. But no. We went forwards, we went backwards, we ended up way back from where we started. Darling Bf was dripping with sweat from the stress and heat. Then he asked me to jump in the drivers seat (eek!) and just "do what I was doing-Rev the fuck out of it and try to take off in first-" so I did this, he stood outside and tried to see what was happening, if the wheels were actually moving and what have you. It seemed to be going well, I was revving, he was trying to push the tyre, then he moved around the Left side of the car and suddenly-Whoa Whoa Stop stop Something's smoking! And I'm like, SHIT why does this happen the moment I get behind the wheel!? It smelled really bad and he's talking oh shit have we broken the Diff (-Zogg Jones)
And it seems something maybe seriously wrong. Crap.
Then another car came up to pass us except he didn't have enough room as we'd moved from our original bog-spot. So he had to stop and ended up being a lovely gent who helped us and we asked what pressure his tyres were on and ours were ten pound higher than his so we let even more air out of them (with this really nifty looking hand held pressure gauge thingy-I felt very Indiana Jones/Bond-y) and HEY! we were moving again! This whole debacle took approx 30-45 mins, so we weren't off to a great start.
I wasn't overly worried though as I always thought someone could tow us back out the track if it was really neccesary. After moving through the track effectively we moved into the dune area which looked ok, except it kept rising and falling alarmingly and we had to keep reversing and going forward and reversing for a long way and as you know, I don't exactly have nerves of steel to begin with, so after the bogging episode I wasn't feeling great about the expedition and then....
we were doing the driving thing and I look out the window and see this massive embankment/dune and there were tyre tracks going vertically up/down it and I'm thinking Dear God please don't take us down that I will positively shit my pants
-thankfully we didn't, but we headed up over a small rise and what goes up must come down so we were going down the other side but we were sort of driving at a side angle when the car got stuck and everytime we tried to move the wheels would sort of slide down the slope and I'm thinking Shit, we're going to roll down the hill And unbeknownst to me, HE'S THINKING THE SAME THING! Bf was leaning right over to my side of the car but was handling things nicely and so I was trying to keep calm for his sake and thankfully we got out again, but after that I'd pretty much had enough excitement for the day.
Thankfully we had no more episodes after that and got on the beach near the water, out of the dunes and had a fun time driving along on the nice hard sand. Any more dune shennanigans that might have been were put to bed before they even started.
Bloody Couriers Part 2
Posted in ranting, Work on by
After leaving work for the day (and yes I did go and have a glass of wine, I did not pass go, I did not bend over to collect $200 Hahaha) I didn't think much of the parcel that was still awaiting collection by AAE. I thought to myself "No no, the lovely girl on the phone assured me that the courier would be by this evening by COB to collect the package" So I went off to my Reisling. Yay.
Or so I thought.
This morning I walked in, and the package is still there! So as you can imagine, I was somewhat upset. So I rang AAE and got the stupid pre-recorded phone message they do every few days to soothe the irate patrons who haven't recieved packages so their phone operators don't have to talk to anyone. They record it whenever they have service interruptions and they get flooded with calls. "Today is Friday the 17th of February. Due to unavoidable mechanical difficulties deliveries out of Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney are behind. We appreciate your patience and understand that your time is valuable" (ie, don't come on the line and tell me time is money, I already know you're a very important person.)
So I finally get to talk to a girl called Erin (I noted it down) and she takes the details of my greivance and puts me on hold. At least, I thought she did. You see I was talking to her, and she was talking back, and then suddenly there's silence. I didn't get an prerecorded product pushing or customer soothing. There was just dead air. I "listened" for 10 mins or so before saying to SJ, I don't know if I'm actually on hold.
So I hung up and rang back (same stupid message about mechanical difficulties) and told someone I wasn't sure if Erin was still helping me.
Erin came back on the line and told me there was no record of it having been re-booked yesterday so all they could do was book it in for Today which would get it there Monday.
I was like " No no no no no, you guys made the mistake, your driver didn't pick up for three days-I'm not having the client wait even longer!"
She comes back on the line and says her supervisor has said this is all we can do.
So I told her that I wasn't happy with that outcome.
She goes away again and surprise surprise when she comes back she says she'll book it on a Next Flight at no extra charge.
Thank you!
I was chuffed cos I didn't even yell at her. Just spoke through gritted teeth. Woo.
Or so I thought.
This morning I walked in, and the package is still there! So as you can imagine, I was somewhat upset. So I rang AAE and got the stupid pre-recorded phone message they do every few days to soothe the irate patrons who haven't recieved packages so their phone operators don't have to talk to anyone. They record it whenever they have service interruptions and they get flooded with calls. "Today is Friday the 17th of February. Due to unavoidable mechanical difficulties deliveries out of Brisbane, Melbourne and Sydney are behind. We appreciate your patience and understand that your time is valuable" (ie, don't come on the line and tell me time is money, I already know you're a very important person.)
So I finally get to talk to a girl called Erin (I noted it down) and she takes the details of my greivance and puts me on hold. At least, I thought she did. You see I was talking to her, and she was talking back, and then suddenly there's silence. I didn't get an prerecorded product pushing or customer soothing. There was just dead air. I "listened" for 10 mins or so before saying to SJ, I don't know if I'm actually on hold.
So I hung up and rang back (same stupid message about mechanical difficulties) and told someone I wasn't sure if Erin was still helping me.
Erin came back on the line and told me there was no record of it having been re-booked yesterday so all they could do was book it in for Today which would get it there Monday.
I was like " No no no no no, you guys made the mistake, your driver didn't pick up for three days-I'm not having the client wait even longer!"
She comes back on the line and says her supervisor has said this is all we can do.
So I told her that I wasn't happy with that outcome.
She goes away again and surprise surprise when she comes back she says she'll book it on a Next Flight at no extra charge.
Thank you!
I was chuffed cos I didn't even yell at her. Just spoke through gritted teeth. Woo.
GAH!!!!!! bloody couriers
Posted in ranting, Work on by
I've just been on hold with Australian Air Express for like 15 minutes and I'm ready to scream. They have this stupid hold music and their phone system is all spastic and cuts out after you've been listening to their product pushing and pre recorded excuses and makes it seem like someone is going to answer you after all. But alas, it is strangely silent and then the hold messges come back on. Gah.....
So I hung up and then rang back and spoke to someone different who solved my query in a matter of minutes! Instead of being on hold for 17 useless minutes.
Need a wine.
So I hung up and then rang back and spoke to someone different who solved my query in a matter of minutes! Instead of being on hold for 17 useless minutes.
Need a wine.
They aren't all freaks.....but some are a bit weird
Posted in freaks, funny, Work on by
There's this quirky guy at work, he isn't a freak as such, he's just funny. I was speaking to him yesterday about the book I was reading, and I finished it last night. So when he saw me today he asked if I was still going with it and I said no I finished it and he says to me,
"You're incredible, do you know that, Oh I'm sure you do..."
Hahaha, it was really funny. He cracks me up. He also left SJ and I a post it on the desk which states "Wow! #### Is Soooo HOT!" About himself. Hahahaha. He's a crack up.
"You're incredible, do you know that, Oh I'm sure you do..."
Hahaha, it was really funny. He cracks me up. He also left SJ and I a post it on the desk which states "Wow! #### Is Soooo HOT!" About himself. Hahahaha. He's a crack up.
the drought is broken
Posted in freaks, weird, Work on by
Hahahahaha, incredulous doens't even begin to describe my feelings as he spoke. Just when I thought WM had finished with his inherent weirdness, he goes and brings me Blog gold. I had to take notes as soon as he turned his back so I didn't forget any!
He walks into Reception and it all seems normal, when suddenly he wheels around, and says to me
" Check out my profile on RSVP. Murray Widebottom (his profile name). I've had so many women respond! Business Women in Management! They can't get enough......"
So the whole exchange takes less than 30 seconds probably, and I was absolutely dumbfounded! Couldn't believe it! The sheer audacity of this bloke to think that I care or that I believe him!
A thought has just occured to me. Maybe he isn't really crazy. Maybe its all an elaborate ruse to keep him entertained.......
Nah!
He walks into Reception and it all seems normal, when suddenly he wheels around, and says to me
" Check out my profile on RSVP. Murray Widebottom (his profile name). I've had so many women respond! Business Women in Management! They can't get enough......"
So the whole exchange takes less than 30 seconds probably, and I was absolutely dumbfounded! Couldn't believe it! The sheer audacity of this bloke to think that I care or that I believe him!
A thought has just occured to me. Maybe he isn't really crazy. Maybe its all an elaborate ruse to keep him entertained.......
Nah!
Love is in the air.....
Posted in Misc on by
Well I was a bit worried initially, but in the end, my darling came through, personally delivering to me, Flowers, Chocolates (with Strawberry centres!), a card and a balloon that says I love you! Winner!
But oddly enough, whereas last year apparently here the flowers never stopped coming, we've only taken about 4 deliveries! Thats a pretty poor effort I think for over 600 people don't you think? Plus my hand delivered bunch. Its all a bit weird I think. Like love abandoned us this year....?
But oddly enough, whereas last year apparently here the flowers never stopped coming, we've only taken about 4 deliveries! Thats a pretty poor effort I think for over 600 people don't you think? Plus my hand delivered bunch. Its all a bit weird I think. Like love abandoned us this year....?
dangerous territory?
Posted in freaks, Work on by
I'm in dangerous territory. WM hasn't said anything to me since last postings about him and I'm beginning to consider engaging him in coversation on purpose, just to see what material he can provide me with......is this wrong? Am I playing with fire?
Actual work!
Posted in Work on by
In a Blog created because of sheer boredom and a lack of things to do, I have been absolutely flat out this week. I cannot believe how busy. So busy I did not even get a chance to email my sweetie pie yesterday at all. He rang me thinking I hated him, having had no correspondence.
And the thing I find about this "actual work to do" business, is that come 3.30, I crashed out. I was so tired and weary all of a sudden, I was completely unproductive after that. I say that, and it reminds me that my sweetie was at work for a total of 12 hours yesterday, and I crashed after what 6 hours of actual work. I feel his pain : (
So this Actual work they've given me, is completely time consuming and mentally unchallenging. You could seriously have a 12 year old do it. And even they'd get bored.
Essentially what I'm doing is deleting people from the payroll website and there were 2900 to delete when I started. What makes it time consuming is that I log into the website (which times out after 7 inactive mins so If I have to do anything else to interrupt it it logs me out), then click on a link on the left, then click on another link, then it only displays 10 names at a time on each page so I have to change pages, then click a name, then type a 4 letter random code (can't cut and paste), then click delete, then it takes me right back to the second page after login and I have to start all over again! And we're a business obviously so our internet connection isn't slow, but the site is, so each page change takes ages.
You know its bad when you're excited about doubling your productivity by realising you can press back twice and cut out half the link clicking. lame.
SO I started this task a week ago and I've done 500 names abouts. I think. I hope!
And the thing I find about this "actual work to do" business, is that come 3.30, I crashed out. I was so tired and weary all of a sudden, I was completely unproductive after that. I say that, and it reminds me that my sweetie was at work for a total of 12 hours yesterday, and I crashed after what 6 hours of actual work. I feel his pain : (
So this Actual work they've given me, is completely time consuming and mentally unchallenging. You could seriously have a 12 year old do it. And even they'd get bored.
Essentially what I'm doing is deleting people from the payroll website and there were 2900 to delete when I started. What makes it time consuming is that I log into the website (which times out after 7 inactive mins so If I have to do anything else to interrupt it it logs me out), then click on a link on the left, then click on another link, then it only displays 10 names at a time on each page so I have to change pages, then click a name, then type a 4 letter random code (can't cut and paste), then click delete, then it takes me right back to the second page after login and I have to start all over again! And we're a business obviously so our internet connection isn't slow, but the site is, so each page change takes ages.
You know its bad when you're excited about doubling your productivity by realising you can press back twice and cut out half the link clicking. lame.
SO I started this task a week ago and I've done 500 names abouts. I think. I hope!
How Embarrassment!!! With a Dolly Magazine "Egg on your face" rating of 4/5...
Posted in funny, Work on by
Yesterday went down in my personal Memiors as most embarrassing moment in my life to date. I was wearing a lovely cream coloured skirt, double layered with a pretty hanky hem effect. And as you do, I decided to duck into the loo before I went home for the day. So i did my business, no dramas there. Then I had to go into my Boss (HR Mgr) to update her on the situation with something that was broken. So I walked from the toilets in Reception, through Reception into Accounts and into Payroll, told her, then turned and left after saying goodbye for the day.
I then proceeded to walk past one of the Accountants, the Chief Financial Officer, and two Business Managers, one of whom was kind enough to point out that I had my skirt tucked into my UNDERPANTS!
So as you can imagine, absolute mortification ensues, along with the intense desire to share my mortification with others!
As it stands, the helpful Gent who pointed it out I have yet to see this morning. Thank god. Maybe he's out on site all day..........
I then proceeded to walk past one of the Accountants, the Chief Financial Officer, and two Business Managers, one of whom was kind enough to point out that I had my skirt tucked into my UNDERPANTS!
So as you can imagine, absolute mortification ensues, along with the intense desire to share my mortification with others!
As it stands, the helpful Gent who pointed it out I have yet to see this morning. Thank god. Maybe he's out on site all day..........
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