Merry Christmas!

Milky coffee yuk

Milky coffee yuk, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Today's coffee.

The Coffee lady has gone on her yearly break again. So begins again the Great Mona Macch Hunt.

Yahoo! stuff up

Holy cow, a memo has been leaked about how Management are to "handle" the lay-off of over 1500 staff.

Check out the whole Memo at ValleyWag ;;

Yahoo's script for performing the layoff begins when the boss walks up to an employee getting the sack. And then he says, "Thank you, [FIRST NAME HERE], for coming in. I have some information regarding our organization I'd like to tell you in person." The anodyne managementspeak just gets worse from there: "I appreciate what you have done for Yahoo."

• DO - Keep meeting to 15 minutes maximum,
• Be very clear on the next steps and the remainder of the day

• DON'T - Say you disagree with the decision,
• Make comments like "you'll have time off for the holidays"

Bad form Yahoo!....

To iPhone or not to iPhone...that WAS the question

Very excited, have decided once and for all that I'm going to get the new Samsung Omnia.

Had quite a debate raging for a while, Omnia vs iPhone vs Blackberry Storm. The Nokia version wasn't ever really in the running because from reports they haven't really developed a contender yet, but I can't see it being far off.

Eca has an iPhone, and I've had a play, and they ARE very cool. Plus their advertising has been very compelling ....

The Blackberry looked good. I was interested to know how they would fare in the debate, as I've never had a Blackberry, but I'm aware of their CrackBerry nickname.

The Blackberry Storm lost in the end because while you could say they have a TouchScreen, in a fashion, its actually one giant clear button for a display screen, which makes textng really slow, which put it straight out of the running.

But in the end the Omnia won because

• It has bluetooth
• It has MMS
• It has a flash on the camera.
  

Simple as that. I'll post pix when I actually have it! Squee!

Hehehe christmas is silly

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Well I'm freakin' exhausted...

5 pairs of shoes
3 handbags
3 dresses and 2 outfits
5 cups of coffee
1 energy drink
copious glasses of champagne
25 bobby pins
too little sleep
too much glitter
and $800.
Thats what a weekend looks like in retrospect when you're trying to figure out where it went....

And a crippling desire for a foot massage

 Event # 1 - The Races

Event # 2 - Costume xmas party

Event #3 - Lunch with the girls.

In other news, we now know 7 girls that are pregnant, all due June/July next year. September was clearly a busy month....

Mumbai Terror on Flickr

IMG_5480, originally uploaded by Vinu.

~
Amazing pictures have been posted from Mumbai already by a guy called vinu on flickr, this is just one of them.

Just desserts or bad taste?

Can't decide whether this is brilliant, or a frightening vision of the future and the lack of privacy that Facebook type sites result in.

MELBOURNE restaurateur Peter Leary has used Facebook to track down bill dodgers in his up-market establishment, Seagrass. Full Story

Check out the story yourself, and let me know what you think....

I will also take a magical coat

If That Doesn’t Work, Try Hogwarts

Clothing Store
Manchester, UK


Customer: “Oi you! I need a coat and it’s not here!”


Me: “Certainly miss, do you have the catalogue number?”


Customer: “No! I’ve told you it’s not here!”


Me: “Okay, describe it.”


Customer: “I want one that will keep me dry and warm in winter, but cool in summer.”


Me: “Sorry, we don’t stock magic coats.”


Customer: “Well, where could I f***ing find one like it?!”


Me: “… Narnia?”

It helps when you sleep with the creator

Courtesy Fug Girls

I think everyone always knew that Sarah Brightman only got to play Christine in the Phantom of the Opera because she was married to Anthony Warlow.

Here she is, driving that point home, at her Concert in Washinton DC. The immensity of the fug is awe inspiring. Amazing. And does anyone else look at this photo and think she looks like she is holding her right arm back behind her instead of gently floating her fingers forward?

Also, Andrew Lloyd Webber has announced he is making a sequel to Phantom. I just want to say here that I had that news earmarked for a post abut a year ago, but kept getting distracted and never wrote it. But I so already knew. So ner.

6 years later, this still angers me

Fingerprint Bundy clock. The way of the future I suppose

Something that has always bugged me in my working life happened fairly early on in it. Its one thing to know that the company you work for is stingy beyond belief, its another to KNOW they will screw their employees willingly.

I've never worked for the government, so my only work experience is in private enterprise, which I split (mentally) into "big" business and "little business".

Little business doesn't neccessarily only mean "small/family" business either. I would put all of the retail sector into "little" business. And there are some companies that are floundering in between, having neither quite made it into "big" business category, but they're trying.

When I was at school however, one of my first jobs, as with so many others, was in the retail sector. I think perhaps because the "bottom line" is so "easy" to see in retail, they feel comfortable being so much stingier with their employees.

For years I thought I was the ducks guts getting a Calendar and a box of chocolates at christmas every year. The Christmas party was a pay-your-own kind of affair, and essentially only the full time workers chose to attend. It never occured to me that the second largest Supermarket line in the country could probably afford something better.

Then I moved onto my next job, and we got jewelery as an incentive at christmas. You made budget, you got something pretty to wear. I figured this made sense, the buy price for the stuff compared to the retail I figured they could afford it. We also got, SHOCK, $10 per head toward some sort of christmas get together. Nevermind the fact that due to the crazy hours we were open over christmas, the only time we could actually manage to go to dinner was at 9.30 PM on Thursday night after late night shopping, and we all had to back in at 8am. (well that didn't stop us, we just didn't go to bed and had a massive bender! Good times)

I managed a couple of good, free pieces of jewlery those years (hello solid gold bangle), but nothings like proper cash eh?

My Next job I moved into the "real world" with a big, fully paid for party at Star City Casino. It was a lavish affair, fully catered, fully boozed, and the employees felt entitled to their party. This was a world of expensing lunches and activites to the miscellaneous category of "Staff Morale".

By this time, I'd met me now husband, who introduced me to another corporate world entirely. A world of hundreds of dollars spent on bar tabs so that people could just get wasted (not responsible I know) and not seeming to have any relation to work at all. Corporate Amex's flying like so many green leaves falling from trees.



So I find it interesting that I still can't let go of a practice in that retail job at the start. I worked in the Cash Office, where all the pay roll was done. We had a bundy clock to log the times everyone started and finished. Everyday a report was printed, detailing the differences in the times everyone clocked in and out, compared to what they should have worked. It would be say 40 entries long each day generally. 40 people who had clocked in either more than 7 minutes early, or clocked out more than 7 minutes late. 7 minutes is the standard used to pay people you see. If you clock in with more than 7 minutes difference you get paid for a full 15. Well, so you'd think.


Everyday the Office manager would go through this report and if the difference was more than half an hour, the dept manager of the person would be asked to either explain and approve the difference or deny the difference. Almost invariably though, the entire report would consist of remarks such as "Chatting" "Smoking" "having coffee" as reasons cited by the Office Manager for why the extra time was being denied. I would then go into the payroll system and manually adjust these entries to reflect a clock-off on the hour (or whenever they were MEANT to have started/finished).


No doubt if this wasn't done, there would be loads of staff taking advantage of the system which is I'm sure why she was so jaded. But it was galling to have to do your own clock-ins or clock-offs when you KNEW you weren't chatting, you were counting your drawer, but you started a few minutes later than you should have because a customer demanded you serve them NOW. For the checkout people, this is mostly what is was. Not walking up to grab the stuff from your locker before you clocked out.

This is STILL bugging me.

Storm about to break

20112002, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

At work,.........

Unintentional voyuerism....its the best

While I was off work for our Europe holiday, some of my work was sent to our other office in another city. Unfortunately even in this day and age, some work must still be done on paper, and cannot all be done electronically.

Personally I think the solution is a touch screen, a stylus, and being able to scribble your notes directly onto the screen.

Oh and a system that is 100% failsafe so you never have to worry about backing up on paper.

But I digress.

So when I got back from holiday the girl that had been doing some of this work, shipped all the paperwork back to me again, the day before she left to go and get married.

I was sorting through it all, as you do, really just getting ready to file it since there was nothing I needed to DO with it. I'm not sure how I came to notice it, but one of the documents was particularly thick, whereas they're normally only 4 sheets of paper, this would have been a stack about 5mm. Noticeably different.

Obviously she has the same environmental guilt as I do in an office environment (pun?) and she'd recycled some paper to print this document.

Normally if I'm printing out personal shit though, I either keep it for the reason I printed it, or I shred it, so no one else can see the silly stuff I print.

Not so in this case. This particular document was ALL her personal stuff, all 5mm of it. Some, was a business that her and her husband must be starting/running, as it was business cards in her new married name, with DIRECTOR on them. (Either that or she's secretly running a multi-national company on the side)

Aside from the fact I think its a bit wanky to list your title as "Director" when potentially the company only "employs" two people, she'd demoted her new husband to Assistant! HAhahaha

There was also a resignation letter for a second job she's had as a Vet Nurse (which begs the question if she's qualified to do that she must be on bloody good money with my company because this job is no peach)

The really strange thing however, was she'd printed out the run sheet for her upcoming wedding, and their vows and poems and what to say when they exchanged rings!

It was fascinating reading, and I couldn't help but devour it all whilst I sat! It was bizarre!

I do feel a bit bad, I mean essentially thats a pretty personal thing for someone like me to be reading, someone who doesn't really know her at all. But HELLO! How could you then recycle that paper into WORK stuff!!!!! The whole point of printing these work docs out is to archive them for the requisite 7 years!

~~~~~~~~~~

In other work news, we're being sued by another girl, with another bogus claim, and the timing is ridiculous. Clearly she was waiting for the first girls case to settle to see how much she could go for before bringing her suit, the whole thing just stinks.

Whats bugging me today

Pet Hate # 978

Why oh why when I am walking down the footpath/sidewalk, if I am a single individual, do pairs of people think its ok to "push" me off the path?
Below, a diagram.
The left, is what irritates me so (I am the pink dot). Why is scenario 2 (right) so hard to accomplish? That's how I walk on paths in a pair?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why do girls going to school now carry nothing but handbags (and tiny ones)? I DO NOT understand this.
Where are their books? AND, even if I concede that they may have lockers AT school, where is their homework? Surely they don't all carry PDA's or something equally ridiculous to do their schoolwork on? I recall in high school everyone endeavouring to carry the smallest bags they could to school, but as we didn't have lockers, this only resulted in everyone carrying enormous ring binder folders with all their books in their arms instead of their shoulders. You demonstrated your obvious individuality by how witty, how brilliantly you sourced the cut outs and photos you decorated your folder with. So much better than Calvin & Hobbes on that folder (so childish), or Luke Perry (too "teen") no you're moody and "deep" because you have a post-modern something-or-other.
How many adults do you see doing that now? None, and there's a reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Annoying!

I'm ANNOYED enough to USE UPPERCASE!

I trundle over to get my coffee this morning, it was really quiet early in the day so I thought I would pop over a bit earlier than normal, give me something to do.

I'm not sure what the barista-lady was concentrating on, but it obviously wasn't my coffee today. Since I got back from our Trip, she seems to be gearing up her staff to be able to handle her not being there. I completely understand this, and it made no sense to me that in the past she's been so precious about making all the coffee herself that she made herself irreplaceable day-to-day and can never have a day off. That must be difficult when you run your own business.

So the last few weeks have been a bit of a mish mash of coffee qualities whilst she trains the more junior girls to make coffee. So I was pleased today when I walked in and she was ready at the machine and was going to make it.

The only problem with this is, with the other "newer" girls making my coffee I can help tweak how I like it, for example by saying "can you just add a dribble more milk?" as she was teaching them to pour the tiniest pour of the milk and then add a dollop of foam ("stain") on top. My personal preference is for slightly more milk than that, so with the training I have a chance to change slightly the way its made, all under the guise of "helping".

My barista has been making my coffee the same way for almost two years, and there is only the barest of variation.

So I was surprised when I went to drink my coffee, and there was virtually no milk, just the "stain" on top. I'm never too worried about this when I have coffee at work though as I can always just splash a bit from the fridge, which is what I did today.

BUT THE MILK WAS OFF!

As soon as it hit the coffee it curdled, and try and I might to "scoop" the chunky bits out (tiny ones) I couldnt get it all.

THAT IS SO ANNOYING! I JUST PAID BLOODY $2.60 (about $5 USD on current exchange rate) FOR A COFFEE THAT I CAN'T BLOODY WELL DRINK!

I ended up taking a large swig, in hopes of sort of shotting it down my throat, and then couldn't stomach the second swig, and feel sort of ill, 2 hours later.

aaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Wii-Fit - a discourse

Ok so I have been studiously Wii-Fit-ing since we got it. As you do the activities and exercises you accrue "FitCash" in the form of minutes. So far I've done something like 3.5 hours worth of Wii-Fit and have just clocked into my third week, so doing well.

There are four sections to Wii-Fit.

1. Yoga Poses - As the name suggests these are a series of Yoga stretches and poses where you focus on keeping your centre whilst holding the pose.
• You stand on the "Wii Balance Board" (wiiBB) while you do the pose, and focus on breathing. You accrue points for how well you can keep still and keep your centre whilst in the pose.
• I've unlocked I think 8/12 poses so far. (and not this one!)
• 
   
2. Muscle workouts - These are kind of aggressive stretches and exercises and are quite similar to some of the stuff I was doing at the gym. There are things like Lunges, Sideways Leg Lifts, Press-ups and sit-ups.
• You can do little "workouts" by doing 1 x Yoga Pose and 1 x Muscle Workout as suggested by your trainer. Also using the wiiBB, but you may be standing, or balancing on one leg, or have your hands on it (press ups) or resting your feet (sit-ups).
• Points are accrued by how steady you keep your body whilst doing the exercise, and as I learnt, if you step off the board when you're not meant to (giving up) you get 0 points :(
• I think I've unlocked 8/15 and there are "challenges" which I'm a bit afraid of...
3. Aerobic Exercises - These are fun, and can be quite hard work! A very funny one is Hula-Hooping, which involves standing on the wiiBB and rotating your hips, which can be hilarious when watching others give it a "whirl"
• There's also a Step-class type game, which I haven't quite figured out how to be "good" at. Clearly has nothing to do with real step classes, of which I've done heaps, and hubby M has done none, but he has a higher score than me! This one you "step" on and off the wiiBB in time to what it tells you, and in specific directions.
• I've also got a Boxing exercise which uses the "nun-chuk" so you're punching with both hands. You box a punching bag, in the set patterns it gives you, stepping on and off the wiiBB appropriately. Can't figure out the scoring system on this one either, might be as simple as landing all the punches?
4. Balance Games. This is the best section, as it combines all the things you're meant to be "learning" in games. You might have seen some of them in action, or maybe not.
• Soccerball-heading. Standing on the wiiBB, you shift your body from left to right to "head" the approaching soccer ball. For spectators the enjoyment comes from the other objects that fly toward your head, such as Panda heads and soccer boots. You lose points for getting hit with anything but a ball, and get more points for heading consecutive soccer balls. Great fun.
• Ski-Jump - crouching down and leaning forward you gain speed before "jumping" (Warning message pops up -Do not jump off the wiiBB). The fun part of this one is that if you try too hard to lean forward while flying through the air, you can fall off the front of the wiiBB.
• There are other ones, a great one where you have to tilt a table top to roll and ball around, a snowboard slalom course where you spin the wiiBB around and shift your weight around, I am RUBBISH at the slalom courses (also a ski one).

The way the program works is that it gives you an incentive to keep you coming back by "unlocking" more games and activities the more time you spend on it. In our household I've got the most unlocked as I've done the most on the Wii-Fit.

M has been away this weekend, so last night I was Wii-Fit-ing alone. (is that sad?)

I did some Yoga, some Muscle, and managed to unlock the last of the 9 Balance Games. They've all been great so I was wondering what the last one would be, having been "saved" until the end. It's called Zazen, and this is what appeared on the screen...

You sit on the wiiBB with your legs crossed, in lotus position if you can (I can't) and you just watch the screen, keeping your breathing even, and staying still. As time goes on a moth flies into the frame, and flies around the candle supposedly to distract you. Then, a sound comes from the game that sounds like a heavy man walking across the wooden floorboards, and there's lots of heavy breathing. I tell you, it was the creepiest thing ever!

I got horripilation (word of the day!-the word for when your hairs stand up on the back of your neck and you get goosebumps), expecting a large scary "BOO" to flash on the screen. It SO different to anything else in the set of games and exercises, when it ended I jumped on Google to find out what other people thought about this exercise.....and it seems I'm alone in that it scared the willies out of me. I did discover that its a general meditation term however.

Perhaps it's because I was alone in the house, but I can't see myself trying this one again. I got to 86 seconds, and a moth inexplicably commit suicide in the flame, ending my time, but others apparently reach 180 seconds and it ends. Just freaked me out, and I was glad for it to be over.

Obama vs McCain, South Park style

Only 23 Hours after Obama won the Election, the South Park guys had made and put to air the episode dealing with the victory. It even includes actual dialogue from the speeches of McCain and Obama.

This is the first episode, and the relevant material is about 2.30 mins in.

Parental indulgence reaches new heights

Daddy I want you to get this pen mark tattooed on you!

(Only short)

From Defamer

Sexy Foam?

Make That A Triple Non-Fat Sexy Latte

sexy foam?

Coffee Shop
Vancouver, BC, Canada

(A woman walks into the coffee shop and orders a latte with “sexy” foam. I make what I thought was a latte with really “sexy” foam.)

Customer: “F***! This isn’t right. I want it with really sexy foam.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I make her another, with lots of really thick foam.)

Customer: “No, no! Sexy foam, really sexy foam!”

Me: “Okay, so less?”

Customer: “No, you know… sexy! Sexy foam!”

(I make her a third drink. This time less foam and more milk.)

Customer: “You don’t get it! I want sexy foam. Really sexy foam!”

Me: *giving up* “I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!”

Melbourne Cup oddities

Carson Kressley & Candace Bushnell in the Emirates Marquee.

Now, being the sponsor of the event, you'd think they'd have a better system than those tacky wristbands??? Not that I want people getting all "don't you know who I AM?!?"....

The cutest little Cup goers

A poor showing by Miss Universe Australia. Bit boring!

Kate Mac from 2DayFM had her hair "done" by Joh Bailey, and this is what he did for her.

A "loose side bun"

Looks crap before she even gets into the wind!

These sisters from country NSW (I think) reportedly spent $17 on their outifts from Vinny's.

Go them!

I Don't know what the judging criteria is for the Fasions on the Field, but this is the winner.

Perhaps she's friends with Miss Australia. *yawn*

Obama wins and ushers in a new era

How exciting! What amazing times to be living through!
I wonder how many Americans sat up to watch the tally and see the result?

Now, repeat after me Mr Obama,

"I will not F*** it up"

From the Washington Post

Democrat Barack Obama has secured enough electoral votes to be elected the first African-American president of the United States, capping a meteoric rise for the freshman Illinois Senator whose message of change resonated with a remarkably broad cross-section of voters across the country.

Obama, 47, defeated Arizona Sen. John McCain (R) Tuesday by a convincing margin, appearing to hold every state won by Democrats in the 2004 election while making significant inroads into previously Republican states in the South, Midwest and Mountain West. His victory, along with the expansion of Democratic majorities in the House and Senate, gives the party complete control of both the executive and legislative branches for the first time since 1994.

2 down 60+ to go

Our two year wedding anniversary was yesterday. Hasn't time flown! Being Melbourne Cup Day, we initially planned to go to dinner the night before, but circumstances dictated that we ended up going to dinner on the day instead.
I didn't think we were doing a gift exchange, I'm not sure why, its not like we talked about it. But M did get me something.


Picture the most romantic gift you could recieve.


Now picture something you actually really want.


They don't really match up do they? Perhaps your romantic gifts include flowers, chocolates, even diamonds.


Then you might ACTUALLY want a new stereo, a new knife block, a Mario Kart Wii........


YES! I Got Mario Kart Wii & 2 little steering Wheels!

BEST.

GIFT.

EVER.

Love you darling :)

(Anyone got an awesome {late} gift idea for me to get M?)

EXILE - Richard North Patterson ****

David Wolfe's life is approaching an exhilarating peak: he is a successful San Francisco lawyer, he is soon to be married and he is being groomed as a future Congressman. But when the phone rings and he hears the voice of Hana Arif - a Palestinian woman whom he had a secret affair at law school - he behins a completely unexpected journey. The next day, while visiting San Francisco, the Prime Minister of Israel is assassinated by a suicide bomber; soon Hana herself is accused of being the mastermind behind the murder. Now David faces an agonising choice: will he, a Jew, represent Hana - who may well be guilty - or will he turn away from the one woman he can never forget?

David's quest takes him to Israel and the West Bank, where, in a series of harrowing encounters, he learns that appearances are not at all what they seem...

*I have edited this blurb by removing the first paragraph. I did so because in a sentence, it just about gives away the entire plot of the novel which is otherwise so carefully built.

There are two quotes on the cover of this book. Normally I don't detail the "quotes" as they're usually tripe taken out of context such as "amazing" - BLAHBLAH. Such a word could actually originally be "I have never read such amazing garbage". One of the quotes is on the front cover, and as such you see it quite often. And on the rear -

"An astonishing book, a hugely entertaining human drama" BILL CLINTON.

"A thriller so important it absolutely demands to be read" THE TIMES

I wanted to mention them because I found them to both be relevant to the book. The Times quote is much more accurate, it was a compelling book, and Clinton is right in saying it is astonishing. What I am annoyed about with Clinton's quote is that its so at odds with...itself. Astonishing is to imply that it keeps blowing you away, page after page. Entertaining while the book is, I feel that with this one quote, Clinton trivialises the whole story. Although to be fair to Clinton, the only reason he is quoted at all is to lend credence to the political bent of the book, of which Clinton was a contemporary for some of the historical politicos that feature. How exactly does one comment on fiction that implies criticism of the part the US played in geopolitics?

But I digress. As with many books I enjoy, while there is a serious history lesson going on for people like me who know little about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, its wrapped up in a fiction with some love story gluing it all together.

This is perhaps my favourite kind of book. I enjoy fiction immensely, but often feel I am keeping myself ignorant of world events. By taking my history in a medium I already enjoy, I enjoy it all the more having learnt something at the end.

I found it difficult to get into initially, which is unusual for North Patterson, but once it picked up it moved at a cracking pace. It did have to compete with Wii for a few days, but I focused on how much I wanted to finish it and it was all ok. Its a fair tome, weighing it at 700+ pages (with tiny writing M exclaimed!), but well worth it.

Half a star off for the slow start.

4 / 5

7 Deadly Sins (of Style)

As Per Trinny & Susannah 

(Reproduced From Marie Claire April 08) 

ENVY

aka "Stealing your Best Friends Style"

Everyone has one - a fashionable friend who just can't seem to put a Jimmy Choo clad foot wrong. But trying to copy a friend's entire style can have a disastrous result if you have different body shapes or colouring. "Its about dressing for YOUR body shape, not trying to emulate the style of someone else"

~

I admit I have to catch myself when admiring even some random girl on the street. If I realise I'm coveting he look primarily because she's got little boobs/20 kg lighter than me/cocoa-coloured skin, I have to stop looking because i'm NEVER going to look like her!

WRATH

Aka "Hating - and hiding - your figure"

Everyone has hangups about parts of their bodies. Susannah recommends you identify your shape and dress accordingly. Looking stylish is as much about knowing what not to wear as knowing what suits you. Eg cropped jackets leave a thick waist exposed. Opt for a tailored waist instead.

~

I admit this is painfully obvious with a large bust. You just have to give up on lots of pretty tops and dresses if they can't accommodate a bra strap. For me this concept is crystallised in the shunning of "in" fashion when it doesn't suit you at all. Just because skinny jeans are in, doesn't mean all body shapes can wear them (or should!)

GREED

aka "Growing out of your clothes - but refusing to admit it"

Fitting into a size 10 in one shop doesn't mean you;ll be the same size in another so swallow you pride and opt or a bigger fit if necessary. Trinny says a tiny top won't make you look smaller, if will do nothing except highlight every fold of fat on your body, front and back.

~

I have probably been guilty of this, but then, who can afford to replace all their clothes all the time? We just hope we'll fit back into them eventually! I suppose the practical lesson here is not to wear the clothes in the mean time!

GLUTTONY

aka "Cramming your cupboards with too many clothes"

Five identical black skirts are no use if you have nothing to go with them. Trinny suggests sorting your wardrobe each season and listing anything that's missing. Keep that list in your handbag and it will help you focus when you're shopping.

~

I am totally guilty of this one. I have so many clothes its ridiculous. M often jokes to our friends that of the two full length wardrobes in our unit, he has 1/4 of ONE of them, and I have the rest (disgustingly only a slight exaggeration). 

My mother gave me a good tool once, (she'd do well to employ it in her own wardrobe) that goes even beyond Trinny's suggestion above. At the end of each season, go through your wardrobe and everything you didn't wear that season, throw out/give to Vinny's. Obviously you didn't choose to wear it at some point in those six months for a reason, so get rid of it. 

Another way to keep on top of this method in your hanging space is to line up all your clothes, and as you wear them/wash/rehang, hang at the far right. Soon all the clothes you never wear will be languishing down the left side, and as before, at end-of-season, throw them away.

I definitely do the cull at end of season, you can even give the bags to friends before Vinny's to see if they want anything, but often the things I get rid of are so awful I can't bear to show them to people!!

LUST

aka "Discarding anything without a designer label"

Designer clothes are fun in moderation, but when the latest sunglasses, trainers, hat and coat are worn en masse it becomes too much. Clothes should revea your own personal "flair and individuality" - not someone else's, even if they are a famous fashion designer.

~

I honestly could not name a single girl/guy I know that would do this. Hell I hardly know anyone that could claim more than a single "designer" item, so this seems ridiculous.

SLOTH

aka "Slipping into sloppy dressing habits"

Chipped nail polish, dirty or broken fingernails and messy hair are the three biggest culprits when it comes to sloppy dressing. Trinny warns that these  small details make a difference - especially to employers.

~

Hmm, this one seems to be stretching the "sins" theme a bit. I don't really look to Trinny & Susannah for work habit tips either...

PRIDE

aka "Leaving nothing to the imagination"

Just because you've got it doesn't mean you have to flaunt it. Too-revealing clothes are a common fashion crime.

~

Agreed.

This can't be true....

What. The. F***. (From Not Always Right)

Deli
Knoxville, TN, USA


(I work in a deli, and the new girl gets a call about party trays; she hands the phone to me.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Sorry about the wait. Do you know which tray you want?”

Male caller: “I just need some information about party trays.”


Me: “Alright, what would you like to know?”

Male caller: “How many should I order for a bachelorette party with 8 women for 6 hours? They’re hiring me to be the entertainment, and they’re paying me $300 to be a garbage disposal. They said they’ll go out and get more if I don’t bring enough. Would you?”


Me: “Would I… what?”

Male caller: “If you were paying me $300 to be the entertainment and garbage disposal, how long do you think it would last? I want to know what I’m in for. They’re gonna put me in a dress and makeup and tie me up and feed me the leftovers to see how much I can hold. Would you?”

Me: “No, I wouldn’t. Sir… I–”

Male caller: “No, if you were paying me $300 to be entertainment and the garbage disposal and put me in a dress and tie me up so I couldn’t get out… They’re going to pay me a $150 dollar bonus to take a vacuum cleaner and hook it up to me and vacuum. I want to know what I’m in for.”

Me: “Sir, with all due respect–”

Male caller: “Would you?”

Me: “Let me transfer you to my manager. He might be able to help you.”

Male caller: *click*

Prepare yourself - this ain't pretty

And I don't mean Tori Spelling's impression of Sonny & Cher (which is also APPALLING).

This is a music video that Tori Spelling and her husband Dean McDermott made for their reality show NoToriOus, about their magical relationship being "so in love".

Watch and marvel, suffice to say, Tori Spelling cannot sing.

Nor can either of them write music lyrics, to save themselves. Its just.....I can't even describe..... you have to watch it yourself. And then feel like slitting your wrists, I just can't do it for you.

(and see how they're exploiting their baby at the start, and end, and yet it disappears for the rest of the video? And who are they kidding with the guitars? I don't beleive for a second that Tori knows how to play more than the two chords they gave her-see how she struggles with even them?)

Your boyfriend did WHAT to your boob?

*shudder* Some people should be kept in padded rooms for their own protection.

Rudolph The Boob-Nosed Reindeer

Medical Supply Call Center
California, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling ***, this is Bill in the breast aesthetics department. How may I help you?”

Customer: “My left boob popped.”

Me: “Okay, so the implant failed?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Are your implants silicone gel or saline?”

Customer: “The water kind.”

Me: “So, we’ve had a saline deflation. I need to ask you some questions in regards to how it may have deflated.”

Customer: “Why, don’t you believe me?”

Me: “Of course I believe you, but as part of making our implants even better and evaluating where under the device’s warranty this falls, I need to know what may have led up to the implant’s leak.”

Customer: “Oh, so you think this is my fault?! You make a crappy implant and you have the nerve to blame me?”

Me: “Wait, wait. First, I didn’t make your implant, my company did. I’m here to help you get this fixed in the fastest way possible and that starts with finding out how the implant deflated.”

Customer: “So you want to know what I did to screw them up, is that right? I spend a fortune on these things to be walking around with a flat tire of a tit and you think it’s my fault?”

Me: “No, ma’am. I simply need to know how to cover this under your warranty, to see how much money we are going to give you to fix the problem. We give you a check for money to fix the problem if you’ll just answer my questions. What do you remember doing when you first noticed the deflation in your breast?”

Customer: “Me and my boyfriend were playing sex hide-and-seek in the house and he thought it would be more fun if my boobs glowed. So, he used a needle tube to insert little red lights into them… what do you call those little glowing lights? It’s like three letters?”

Me: “… A diode?”

Customer: “Yes. He’s a trained professional… he uses them on animals at his job all the time.”

Me: “So, your boyfriend punched a hole in your chest and tried inserting a diode inside the implant?”

Customer: “Well, not in my chest. Just on the top side of my boob so it wouldn’t hurt. He numbed it first.”

Me: “… And this is the implant’s fault, how?”

Customer: “It started leaking and getting flat.”

Me: *laughing* “I’m sorry, can you repeat that? I’m recording this and no one is going to believe me!”

Customer: *click*