Resume blunders

~ “I am great with the pubic.”
~ A candidate listed her e-mail address as pornstardelight@*****.com

~ One candidate’s electronic resume included links to her homepage, where the pictures were of her in the nude.

~ Hobbies: “getting drunk everynight down by the water, playing my guitar and smoking pot”
~ “One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border”
(there's standing out, and there's the patently ridiculous)
From Ask Annie
~ “I am a wedge with a sponge taped to it. My purpose is to wedge myself into someone’s door to absorb as much as possible.”
Yahoo Hot Jobs
~ “Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
~ “Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
~ “It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
~ “Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
~ “I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
~ “I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.”
~ “Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
Humour Matters.com
~ Interests: “Gossiping.”
~ Favorite Activities: “Playing trivia games. I am a repository of worthless knowledge.” (This sounds like one I could use....)
~ Skills: “I can type without looking at thekeyboard.” (hmmm)
~ Qualifications: “Twin sister has accounting degree.”
~ Experience: “Have not yet been abducted by aliens.”
~ Objective: “I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.”
~ Education: “Have repeated courses repeatedly.”
~ Salary requirements: “The higher the better.”
~ References: “Bill, Tom, Eric. But I don’t know their phone numbers.”
~ Achievements: “First runner-up for Miss Fort Worth, 1982.”
~ Awards: “National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes.”
~ Experience: “I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around.” (Hmmm, while consulting?)
~
Resume: “Spent several years in the United States Navel Reserve.” (Doing tequila body shots by the sounds of it)
~
Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.”
~ Education: “I have a bachelorette degree in computers.”
Resumania’s Archive:

JobMob Top 10

  1. Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.” (Resumania)
  2. A resume listed a skill as “being bi-lingual in three languages” (Ask Annie’s)
  3. Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).” (Resumania)
  4. In the section that read “Emergency Contact Number” she wrote “911.” (Ask Annie’s)
  5. Candidate drew a picture of a car on the outside of the envelope and said it was the hiring manager’s gift. (Careerbuilder.com)
  6. Languages: “Fluent in English. Also I have been heard muttering Gibberish in my sleep.” (Resumania)
  7. “Directed $25 million anal shipping and receiving operations.” (ResumePower.com)
  8. On one of our applications, a girl wrote ” I’m 16, I’m pregnant and I can do anything.” At the same time she turned in her application, her boyfriend handed in his. On his: “Felony for breaking and entering.” (Ask Annie’s)
  9. “One candidate included clipart on their resume of two cartoons shaking hands.” (Ask Annie’s)
  10. Application: “On the line that asked what “sex” he was, he wrote “occassionally”.” (Ask Annie’s)

2 kindred spirits ~ This bugs them too!:

Ronnie Ann said...
June 17, 2008 12:46 PM

Hahaha! Great collection of blunders.

People don't realize how many of their resumes wind up in the trash from a "mere" typo. "Why they ask?" astounded by such fussiness. Because if they're that casual about something as important as their next job, what will they be like once they settle into the job?

You listed “I am great with the pubic.” A very bright woman I know just did a variation of that: "looking for pubic policy work." If she gets it, I want to know what it pays. :)

Ronnie Ann

Dataceptionist said...
June 17, 2008 3:13 PM

Hey Ronnie Ann, thanks for dropping by. Your Work Coach Cafe blog is certainly entertaining and informative.

Hahahah Pubic Policy. I'll keep my pubic policy between myself, hubby and my bikini waxer thanks! LOL

Hope to see you again :)

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