Christmas Party Season

Well my Christmas Party was last week, as was Mark's, but no photos from his yet sorry.

Yes I am Nude. That's EXACTLY what happened.

random pics

Hahaha So wrong, but so funny.

Words fail me.

Yeh, they wish.

"When Blondes set their desktop picture and don't know how to remove it"

World's Sexiest Man

You know when a list is compiled by Durex people have only one thing on their mind- Ballooons of course. Ok Condom Balloons. But I can't say I totally agree with this list. For one thing, I am not (yet?) a Daniel Craig convert, and while Clive Owen has a certain charm, he's not really Bonk-city for me. But hey, everyone has their own opinion eh.

So the list-

1. Daniel Craig

2. Clive Owen

3. Jude Law

4. Steve Jones (whoa got to finding a pic of this guy, had NO IDEA who he was. Came up with Lots of Steve Jones'!!)

5. George Clooney

6. Johnny Depp - So many pictures, so many different looks to choose!

7. David Beckham

8. Robbie Williams

9. Orlando Bloom

10. Pierce Brosnan

Now my personal opinion is that number 10, should be a lot higher. AS for Steve Jones, if anyone can fill me in, that would be great :P

Lift Lunacy

Bah.

Just got stuck in a lift for a few minutes after we'd been out for lunch. We got in, pressed B and it started, got to G and sort of shuddered. Then the lights went off and one of the other stupid women starts pushing all the buttons.

I'm not-so-slowly freaking out at this point, trying not to panic too much as that freaks out others, as well as working myself up even more than I am currently, which is obviously counter productive. A colleague was there with me, and a family of 5, in a not very big space, it was quite a small RSL lift.

It was interesting because after we got out, eventually, my colleague was telling me that she was stuck in a lift once before, when she was like 17. She got stuck in a lift on the 37th FLOOR in a building in the city! I would pass out, I'm certain. She was stuck for six hours. The very thought makes me feel nauseous.

What the.....?

What an amaxingly talented Cathedral that it managed to bash a person! What the...?

Scary beyond all reason

In the tradition of Yzma,

from the Emperor's New Groove, I find the image below,

Scary Beyond All ReasonDear god. As the lovely ladies of fug so eloquently put it,

... the delusion that his tongue is of equal interest to Gene Simmons', a very thorough groin waxer, and possibly, probably, a simmering case of 'roid rage.

I think you can even see the post-wax skin irritation which is possibly the un-sexiest thing I've EVER seen. Ew. And when you only sort of glance at the picture, it actually almost looks like he's going for a bit of a nipple rub. And I'm sorry but I actually don't find that male ridge that is almost like an arrow pointing at their man-business sexy at all. I know a lot of girls do, but it's just not something that does it for me.

I have no idea who this mystery person is. Ew.

(and btw I not-so-secretly think Yzma is fabulous. That movie is the best ever. ever.)

Honeymoon bliss

We stayed at The Shangri-La Fijian and it was lovely.

Very beautiful and tropical and honeymoon-esque.

Our first Day, sharing a beverage on our balcony. We bought Duty Free, 1L of Jim Beam and 1L of Smirnoff Raspberry Vodka. We left about 1.5" of Jim Beam and 2.5" of Vodka as we already had 4L preodered waiting in Sydney when we got home. (current limits are 2.25L per person coming back in)
View from our Room ^

Ooh the pretty sunsets we saw

My Cool Just Married Bikini.

Doing the Fiji thing and Drinking Kava. Which tastes like crap, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I don't believe this mouth numbing thing either. We had one cup this night, no numb. Two cups another day (within an hour) and no numb. Another cup another day, still no numb. Different brews, different strengths, no numb. Theres another pic with my drinking, but its essentially the same pic. This was at a Fire Dancing night in the Resort.

Cute concept. Pity they ripped us off. Wish we had a shot of the shop next door that did an even better job fleecing us. Think A sarong made of refined tree bark....

We went to the Adults only restaurant for our One week anniversary dinner. hah gave me this outfit for my birthday and it was lovely! The chap who took the picture did well as it was pitchblack in the viewfinder : )

Wedding Pressie from Eca!

Isn't it lovely! We love it. Kudos to Eca for awesome gift. xxx

WTF????

"C'mon Bob, take the photo!" -I bet she never thought this holiday snap would be broadcast around the world....

Aside from the hideous fug in general, what is the green midget doing!???? And why does he look so shocked at what he sees!!!!

Go Judy!

I'll bet that campaign "blew" *chortle chortle*

No look closely. At the crotch (you know you were looking there already) slightly to the right. Is that poking OUT??????

The Celebrity 100

By Forbes

1. Tom Cruise

2. Rolling Stones

3. Oprah Winfrey

4. U2

5. Tiger Woods

6. Steven Spielberg

7. Howard Stern

8. 50 Cent

9. Cast of The Sopranos

10. Dan Brown

11. Bruce Springsteen

12. Donald Trump

13. Muhammad Ali

14. Paul McCartney

15. George Lucas

16. Elton John

17. David Letterman

18. Phil Mickelson

19. J.K. Rowling

20. Brad Pitt

(who can be bothered reading all 100? Everyone only checks who's at the top anyway)

This list compiled by Forbes, is the top 100 most Powerful Celebrities. Personally the way Tom Cruise is acting at present I don't think he tops any lists unless they're based on Loonies.

To generate the list, we used a combination of factors including income, Web
references as calculated by Google (nasdaq: GOOG - news - people ), press clips as compiled by Lexis/Nexis, TV/radio mentions from Factiva and the number of times a celebrity's face has appeared on the cover of 26 major consumer magazines. Earnings estimates are for June 2005 to June 2006 and are dollars earned solely from entertainment income. Management, agent and attorney fees have not been deducted.
The year's biggest winners were the entertainment stalwarts. The 20 most powerful names in show business include seasoned old-school performers such as the Rolling Stones (No. 2) and U2 (No. 4), even Muhammad Ali (No. 13). The Champ cracked the top 20, despite not having boxed a single round in almost 25 years, when he sold the rights to his name and likeness last year for $50 million. Tiger Woods, who has been in the top five for the last five years straight, once again is ranked fifth, making $90 million over the last year, mostly from endorsements (although with $58 million in career earnings, Woods has made 25% more from actually playing golf than any golfer in history).

.....But despite being pilloried and parodied after pairing up with an ingenue 16 years his junior (nevermind the couch-jumping antics), Tom Cruise still reins supreme at the box office--and on our list. Love him or hate him, Cruise, who earned $67 million last year alone, is Hollywood's most bankable star.

Ew. Take your child bride and be gone.

Self Important Bastards

I am having a wobbly at the moment about Self Important Bastards(SIBs-Not to be confused with Siblings).

These people, you will mainly find in your workplace. They are the people who tell you to do things that are beneath themselves, but not you. As an office worker with the Status of "Lowly" I'm sure I encounter a lot more of these people than others do. But I think it's a real measure of people how they treat the staff under them. Or not even under them, which is really the point of SIBs.

So how do you define a SIB as opposed to your general dickhead? Simply look at the people above the SIB.

I have a classic example.

Like I'm sure most international companies, we have an internal directory that staff can look up to ring others. A lot of staff also keep a small directory maybe pinned to their desk somewhere, like Bob 9845, Stu 9863 etc for people they frequently ring.

---I will also disclaimer here that I know Reception's function is to Recieve calls and re-direct them. Don't get me wrong, I am completely familiar with my position and its function. ---

Now I'm not saying staff can't call Reception for connection, by all means! But we have this one woman, middle manager type level, she calls Reception literally about 20 times a day. But not to speak to 20 different people, or even 18 different people. She speaks to the same 3-4 people every day. All day. If she was the CEO then I would understand. He's a busy guy and shouldn't neccessarily have to remember stuff like that.

But she's not. She's middle management. HER boss doesn't ring me every 10 minutes to be put through to someone. And the Boss of Her Boss, who is a DIRECTOR, can also manage to keep a listing of numbers, or use the internal directory. She's a SIB.

Other SIB's you may encounter in your life, service people who are too busy doing things OTHER than Serving you. Picture it, Boost Juice bar, one person serving, two people cleaning things, all the while you and five other people are waiting in line. Happens all the time when I go!

Anyone who sits in the Right Hand Lane sitting under the speed limit. Yeah I'm talking to you, Stupid Man in Black BMW! I can appreciate it when they sit ON the speed limit, that's fine. I do it occassionally myself as you still pass all the ultra slow people in the left lane, but prolonged sitting in the Right Lane UNDER the speed limit-SIB. And if they're on the Phone? Don't even start me. Actually I could probably rant all day about the people that irritate me on the roads.

Woo-sarh......

Our wedding cake

In a special post for Never teh Bride from Manolo for the Brides, she has posted today about wedding cake toppers so I wanted to share with her and her readership if they pop over, our cake. Our cake was made by my ever so lovely Maid of Honour. The purple fabric is the same purple dupion silk the bridesmaids dresses were made in.

Figurines and Ute All handmade and entirely edible! Along with flowers and tyre tracks!

Good Morning!!

MMmm Coffeee........

Drunken dress

This dress, is made of bottletops! Wonders never cease!

The second photo shows how it unhooks so it can fit through doorways.

Our idol fug conversation

becuase I thought it was amusing that some guy got paid by Tv Week to blog his blow by blow thoughts on the Finale, I give you, the text conversation between Re and I during the finale.

(RE) 8.50 Idol Fug! the little girl is wearing some lovely diamonds, black dress and purple footless tights! WHY!

(Me) 8.52 I Know! we said the same thing!

8.54 haha a day of fug

8.56 but...but...*splutters* she has a stylist!

8.58 fuck do you see that polka dot thing!

8.59 Are those stonewash jeans?

9.03 eh gad(sic) this isn't going to be pretty

9.04 Denim dress! Sleeveless man shirt!

9.15 I had to get rid of it. Andrew looks awful in that shiny suit thing

9.17 She almost matches!

9.19 haha well why not

9.22 wonder if she has another costume change in break.

9.22 probably she's only had two so far lol

9.23 who has your vote?

9.23 the boy i think, gotta love an accent!

9.25 Yeah baby. Are those studs on the back of that jacket?

9.26 he got your vote? oh jesus i hope not turn around love haha

9.31 It may have even been lacing, and i love em both!

9.54 surely that isn't the end of the fug?

10.02 haha i gave up watching. tell me who wins lol

10.03 Tights under purple hot pants!

10.05 oh i see! no that's terrible. see another costume change. they will be too tired to sing.

10.06 And she'll change again now. So Shiny.

10.13 pancake boobs

(this after announcement made) 10.14 a disgrace to mammories everywhere! go damo! god speak english buddy lol

10.16 Haha Say Anything!

10.16 eh ah eh too be sure to be sure

10.20 Alicia is predicting Emo idol.

10.23 do

10.25 God kill me

10.24 lol that was supposed to be ew... fuckin emos haha

Close out....

Tea bag business

And they all bowed down and chanted "Hail, Queen of Lipton!!"

This seriously reminds me so much of the dancing scene in the King and I. Yul Brenner version. Eliza run! Poor Eliza! Eliza Run! This dress is made entirely of Tea bags and comes from lovely hah. Apparently, she even used the jiggly string for thread!

Pammy confirms she is not Rocked after all.

I am shocked and amazed. You mean a white bikini and a sailor hat wedding do not guarantee a long and lasting union? Boy is my face red now.

Oz Idol Fug Red Carpet

Well last night was the premiere event for young musical hopefuls to view for themselves the glittering spectacular the music industry can be. Unfortunately though, some people can't seem to dress themselves for such an event-

Exhibit A.

I don't even know who this girl is? Anyone fill me in? Some awful Home and Away starlet? Is it Neighbours fug? Its probably her hair that is really giving me the heebie jeebies. And maybe the polka dots.
More to come, but their website very busy this morning as you can imagine.

Oz Idol Fug various

In an effort to bring you all the idol fug you can handle, here are some of the atrocities. Unfortunately a few of my absolute favorites from the night I can't get pictures from on the official website, so I'll keep trekking for you!

Exhibit B

Now I don't want to be awful, but I am sort of biased with this one, because I don't really like Casey Donovan, the winner from '** (whenever she won). She gets invited to this event only because she's a previous winner. Mostly I hate the hat. And the piercing. And I wish she would go away. (i did say I was biased)

Exhibit C

The Girl in Blue in this picture isn't too bad, I almost like her dress. The Girl In Grey however, fug city. That dress is awful and reminds me of those black dresses with white piping that you could buy everywhere about 5 years ago in the Chinese clothes cheap shops (you know the ones before SES, Temt, Valleygirl etc took the clothing industry by cheap storm). They were always kind of cool looking in a prostitute-pirate-ruffles kind of way. For a pretty blonde girl she could be wearing something that looks so much better. Also, again, who are these girls?

Exhibits D and E

Sadly this picture didn't truly capture the fug that was this set of costumes. In the middle we have Lisa, in a horrid vest thing with a shirt that I think is two different lengths! Look at the hem, one sode definitely lower than the other.

The other crime, Klancie's furry pants. Aaaarrrgghhh. I must admit though that when watching, I thought they had committed a crime against jeans and put her in super stone washed jeans. But instead its stepped up to furry. And what's worse is that I have a sneaking suspicion she's worn these before, but can't find an image. You'd think they'd have learnt their lesson the first time, and that their wardrobe department wasn't quite so hard pressed for clothes.

Exhibit F

They usually dress Jess so well and when I first saw this I thought, "isn't that dress sweet, the bow's a bit iffy, but its black satin so it kinda works". THEN. I saw the lower half of her. As below.

And I thought, ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! I was shocked and appalled. Purple tight fuggins!??!>>!???

It's a crime against young attractive girls everywhere! Why couldn't they just stick with the dress and be done with it!!?? Why do they always have to fug it up?!

Exhibit G

In the case of the Pancake Breast, at approximately 9.53 on the night of Sunday the 26th of November, Jessica Mauboys breasts were apprehended trying to escape from her dress. Thankfully we were able to get there before she went on stage and were able to strap them down good and tight, with no hope of them ever looking attractive again.

Once again, the Breast Police were able to prevent young women "getting their girls out" in front of a large live audience. Unfortunately, we were unable to prevent the atrocity of Tara Reid, or Janet Jackson's breast exposure. (or Tammy at Y & M's wedding)

If You witness breast exposure, or are worried about someone you know, call Breast Stoppers on 1800 ........................