Thank god for the freaks

It's been a bit of a freak drought here at my job. This blog used to be all about the freaks, and I'm taking it back there today. Here at work we've taken on 100 new Temps to take phone call enquiries for a particular Government initiative that has just been announced *nudge nudge*. As you can imagine, the sudden injection of 100 people of all races and ages who are available at short notice, are suitable for call centre work and don't need the benefit of a finishing date brings out the best in the candidate range. I'll just pick a few choice ones.

  • The Really Deep Voice guy. This guy, literally sounds like he's taking the piss out of Barry White. He only looks about 20, but his voice makes him sounds like an Alabama Cotton Farmer sitting in a rocking chair on the porch (or would it be verandah?). Not that I've ever been to Alabama, and seen any old men in this position, but a bit of poetic license wouldn't kill you. Seriously though, his voice is amazingly deep. Annoyingly though, he always wants to talk to you. I'm sitting in the break room minding my own business, reading, as I normally do, and he walks in to make coffee---fine, normal normal, but then he says "I don't mean to bother you...." with an upward inflection like a question, hands out in a placating manner- But then, he doesn't say anything!! I'm looking at him, waiting for the next bit and it never comes! He always tries to strike up conversation, not in a "hey baby how you goin' " way, or a polite conversation way, just in a "hey you there-I'm interesting and quirky and let's chat!" way. Gah.

  • Guy that reminds me of non-descript-loser-character-in-teen-movie-sans-glasses. There's this guy, bugs the hell out of me. Always says hi as he walks past (Oh you know the type, they're all hello, and hi...) I can't quite put my finger on why he irritates me so. I do know that a few days ago the CEO had a visitor waiting in Reception and he walked past and was like "hey, how's it goin" to him! I mean you just don't do that! You have your standard good-morning-ers, and they're fine, I like to think you earn your good morning priveledges though. You can't just go good morninging everyone, and these guys have only been here a week! A polite closed-lip smile suffices until you move along to a wider, "how are you with the eyes" smile, and then eventually you graduate to good morning or a hi, and eventually, a "how are you" verbally (which only certain people you actually listen to the response anyway-It's true!)

  • All the people who don't know how to make coffee. It came to our attention that some of these newies were making their coffee incorrectly at the espresso machine. The system is thus- There's a small fridge with the milk near the machine, you take out a bottle of milk, dip the tw hoses into the bottle of milk, make your coffee, then put the milk bottle back in the fridge. Between coffee making, the milk hoses rest in a clear jug, somtimes with a bit of water in the bottom. The temps were pouring the milk into the jug of filth and then making their coffee!! EWWWW. I really didn't think the system looked that hard to follow.....

That's all the freaks for just now, might have more later. A few other work related funnies though.

The CEO walked into the dark boardroom (very infrequent-usually the PA does it) as he is obviously expecting guests. After pottering around a for a few minutes, he comes out again and says to me, "if anyone goes in there before 11 o'clock, tell them if they don't leave it exactly as it is now I'll kick them". LOL.

On the level above us they're carrying out works to refit the level for new tenants. As such there are all sort of weird banging noises and stuff all the time, the column near the water cooler even sounds like they're someone trapped in there sometimes hehehe. On that note, I'm sitting here blogging earlier, when the small cupboard that sits under my desk, that my leg leans up against, I feel this tapping from the inside. It felt exactly like there was some sort of small child I had locked in the cupboard and was knocking to be let out! Hahahaha. It was so funny and bizarre I rang Zogg right away! : )

2 kindred spirits ~ This bugs them too!:

billylou said...
August 24, 2006 1:07 PM

AHAHAHA

I love the bit about the coffee machine. Oh my God.

Re said...
August 25, 2006 5:36 PM

NOT THE JUG OF FILTH!
Whats the matter with people... geez.

I must admit I do like building a greeting relationship with people.
For the last four years I've been at my job, I now know my lunch shop guy Russell, good old Rus.

But random hellos are all a bit too intrustive except from little old ladies.

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