Weird Dreams (again)

Sometimes I'm amazed by what the mind conjures up whilst dreaming. I like to try and figure out where my dreams come from, because sometimes I think they're really obvious when you look through your life, you can peice together the influences.

I had this really weird dream this morning/last night....

For some reason I was at some sort of event where there was a sausage sizzle, but I didn't have one, and when I left, I caught a train to Chatswood Station. When I got there I was searching madly for a sausage sizzle* stand. Chatswood station didn't look normal though, they're currently upgrading it so in my dream it was really new and sort of space age, and HUGE. Like imagine a huge domed roof made of either glass or pale blue glazed tiles with white tubular supports, and there was sort of a mezzanine level around the bottom edges of the dome. There were a million people milling around, and it wasn't just a station, it was also an airport. It had the buzz of an airport also.

So I was looking for the sausage sizzle stand, when I glance out the window (at what should be, by rights, Victoria Mall) and there is a plane, larger than life through the glass, in a nose dive; it was almost vertical, and it slams into the ground, nose first and sort of crumples at the tip. (I remember thinking, in the dream, "oh yes, its falling like that because its empty, if it had freight or passengers it wouldn't be so vertical..."-I don't even think this is true, but it made complete sense in my dream)

So there was a shudder through the ground, and a few people fall down, and subconsciously I figure I need to get away from the area and started running toward the exit (which is Railway Street, which is the only completed section of the refurbished Station I've seen, so my brain has constructed this entire new station from looking at the new entrance) and then the aftershock(?) hits as I'm running away, and there's a blast as everyone is knocked off their feet by the impact, and I remember seeing the little floor tiles exploding as the dirt/earth sort of radiated away from the impact zone.

I think I woke up after this, as I can't remember anymore.
So weird.

*I LOVE sausage sizzles, which could be a reason they feature in my dreams.

There's no hope now.

They've mated. Crocs and uggs, and the Crugg is born. May god save our souls.

I can't say I thank Mia for bringing this to our attention, but at least now we know and can defend ourselves appropriately. Arm yourselves girls, grab every Blahnik and Choo in the house and lock your doors. They are coming.

Steps in creating meaningless form letter...

...To connect with potential listeners that only get this because they entered a competition...

So I was a bit weirded out to recieve an email, as part of a mailing list for a radio station:

Dear Dataceptionist,

How time flies!

My little man Flynn will be turning One in 2 weeks! And to celebrate his first birthday we've decided on a Cookie Monster cake... he always gets so excited when he see's the big blue furry monster with googly eyes on Sesame Street!

Also on the to-do list is taking Flynn to his first Easter Show. We really want him to experience the animals, particularly cows as he always cries when his toy cow goes "MOOOO" so hopefully he'll overcome his fear if he meets the real thing!?! Well that's the plan....which could very well back fire!

On the subject of Easter, while indulging in all that chocolate did spare a thought for our 5 hubbies who are slogging it out in the Fitness First Boot Camp? They're on a mission to get their bodies back into shape for their wives. They’re nearly halfway through their 8 week program and you can encourage them by clicking here to vote, which in turn could win you PRIZES!!!

By the way, I should warn you that there's a good chance I might run over your foot with Flynn's stroller in the Showbag Pavillion as I battle the crowds to get my Bertie Beetle Showbag ....I'll apologise in advance!

Lars Peterson

Uhhh, thanks Lars. I don't really know who you or Flynn are though? And why on earth do you think I'd care about his birthday cake?
Don't you think this is weird!?
The rest of the mailout is normal, y'know, competitions, promotions, shit they're flogging and so forth.
When I check the website for the station, he is apparently the "drive home DJ" but even if he was the DJ I actually tune into on this station, I don't want to know about his stupid child! It just smacks of those en masse update letters you get at christmas that include little Timmy's Scout camp and Little Hannah's first tooth.
Blegh.

Step 1
Ensure software inserts recipients name so as to connect immediately with them on a personal level.
Step 2
Insert meaningless pleasantry, suggestions can include, "gee hasn't the weather been strange" "how about that local sporting team"
Step 3
Talk about someone in your life readers are unfamiliar with, mother in laws are good as they're universally hated. If you choose children, be cutesy.
Make many references to this individual for the next few ramblings paragraphs.
Pretend you were mid conversation with your readers, as this keeps it casual and really connects
Step 4
Insert some sort of reference to a local event
Step 5
Make passing reference to the actual product or service you're promoting. Find tenuous link to your individual, so it looks smooth.
Step 6
Attempt humorous passing comment as a sign off. This keeps it casual and makes it seem like you haven't slaved over said letter all day. If you can, link back to the local event mentioned. Suggestions can include "See you at (event) I'll be the one at the sausage sizzle/snorting blow in the toilets/at the bar doing shots"
Step 6
Use your full name, because people don't know who you are, and can't Google you with just your first name. Don't use your title or position, its so much more fun and personal, like you're really pals!

Fugfessions Part II

Oh no!

I was so pleased to see the first outfit, but this is horrendous!
It is, (for those of you like me who don't recognise the actress at all) Isla Fisher! In another costume for the movie Confessions of a Shopaholic. I mean, I don't even know where to start.
When they featured this on fug, it started as an April Fool's joke with The Nose (aka Sarah Jessica Parker) photoshopped face on the head. I can actually see the hideousness being worn by her. The mustard! Ick! The Gold stacked shoes! Ick! The Pink skirt teamed with reddish top! Ick! The glimpse of a different shade of red in the handbag! Ick! THE GREEN BELT!!!Ick! Ick!
*faint*
You cut me deep Isla, you cut me real deep. After Eca was only just singing your praises. You should be ashamed.
Or at least have a greater say in costuming.

Dress code for shame

Cake to help the kids

It may look blue, but the icing here is Purple, this cupcake is from Michel's Patisserie, and it has purple icing because 30c from each cake purchased goes to the Starlight Children's Foundation.
And obviously this is the only reason I bought it.
Really.
Ps, Star Day is Friday 2nd May

Wedding? What wedding?

This is a bit of a shout out to PrincesseEmma, a new reader who is a self-confessed wedding junkie. Any questions you have about weddings, mine specifically, feel free to ask in the comments and I'll reply. And any other regulars, if there's anything you wanted to know, or anything you want to ask in hindsight, feel free :)

If you're new to the site and want to have a gander at my wedding, photos can be found here

How the not-so-mighty have fallen not-very-far from not-so-lofty-heights

Hahaha Holly Valances's crap "debut" album (debut indicates there will be more to come....usually...) has joined a pilates Cd, as a $5 basement bargain special. .
*tear* I bet her parents are so proud.
And no, I'm not providing you with a link of where to buy, because that would be supporting sales of her shitty cd.

Didn't quite hit the mark....

I forgot how much liquid is in a flat white. This morning, in the search for a different coffee experience, and being swayed by the ads currently screening for McDonalds

"New stronger arabica bean blend"

(I know, I'm such a consumer), I decided to get a coffee from Maccas with some breakfast. I've recently had a couple under duress, (on the old blend) from the McCafe section, and found them bearable, possibly even palatable, as long as I got an extra shot in a small flat white.So I ordered the same, and by the time I got to work it was cool enough to drink, and yet, the cup is a quarter full still, I just can't drink that much milk.
And yet, I had the same, in a china cup on the weekend and it was quite nice.
I've found that a bad macchiatto, is worse than nothing at all almost.

Hmm...the search goes on.

..what bugs me? Not being able to vote in Fug Madness!!!

One of my favourite websites, Go Fug Yourself, is running this hilarious voting poll called Fug Madness that mirrors one of their sporting events (who cares which one really). All I know is that the tier system is really weird, but I've given up seeking to understand it.
Anyway because its American with the time delay, at the end of the week and over the weekend I don't get to vote at all. I know I could log on over the weekend but of course I never think of it, and at the same time I've always tried to save up the fug over the weekend so i can look at work.
*sigh*
I just wish they'd keep the voting open a little longer :(Bai Ling, for me, the patron saint of Fug. She's up to Top 16, and I hope she makes it all the way.

You can get your kit off over in that corner near the mustard

I bought this ultra cute shirt dress on the weekend. (At least I hope its cute, and I look decidedly less Asian that this woman in it).
I bought it at Paddy's Markets in Haymarket, and I think it looks pretty darn good on me, and it even comes with a pleather belt.

Hilariously though, because I got it at the markets, the changerooms were a bit....odd... and as I bent my G-string-ed bum over to take me jeans off, I had to contend with four other girls doing the same thing. They only had this large communal dressing room, with a strange slanted roof consisting of strung up fabric, complete with photos on the "walls" like the one to the right, with models all looking fabulous in the clothing items, and off kilter mirrors showing my less-than-fabulous-ness.

The good thing though, was that once I had said dress on, and snapped all the buttons back up, at least I could turn around and ask a couple of girls sharing the changeroom if they thought it looked ok on me. They said yes, and I felt confident they weren't just trying to shut me up so they could stop looking at clothes and move into the power tool section.

It made me muse however, yet again, whether I was the weird lady asking the 17 year old girls how I looked so I could still be hip. Am I hip? How do you determine whether you're still hip??? Does it fall off in little sprinkles until one day I am deviod of hip and yet I still feel fully hipped?
I heard someone say on the radio the other day "No one ever told me I'd feel exactly the same no matter how old I am. No one said when I was 35 that I'd still feel 18, and I do".
Perhaps this is the answer.

Boozey Booze: not all sugared lolly water

I am a drinker of "alcopops" (I hate that term) or, sugary alcoholic beverages (as evidenced here and here and more here). My drink of choice mostly is Guava flavoured Vodka Cruisers. As with most drinks of this ilk, the flavour, while pleasant and delicious, bears no resemblance to real guava flavour at all.
I still like them though, and while they are high in sugar and thusly, high in calories, I would be devastated if they stopped making them.
So it was with irritation that I read Most dangerous alcoholic drinks identified included my beloved Cruisers.

The drinks targetted as baddies -
Bundaberg Rum and Cola, Kristov Vodka Cruiser Black Raspberry (a "double black" double strength version of the drink above) and Bulleit Bourbon, Woodstock Bourbon, Jager Bomb, Fairy Bomb, Haig Extra Scotch and Cola, Elevate Bomb, Hi NRG, Cougar Volt, Crazy Mexican and Pulse Red.

****Gah! Annoyingly at this point I realised I mis-read the article and my brand is number two, when I had thought it had been spared. I feel like such a tool.***

Cougar Volt is part of a move by Fosters to agree to stop producing Energy drinks with Alcohol in them. Of the twelve listed above I think 5 are energy/guarana and alcohol combinations, which I would not drink and I think energy drinks are foul.

I do think there are too many pre-mixes on the market, its a bit saturated now with disgusting products, but I hope they keep Guava Cruisers and Pink Grapefruit Bacardi Breezers (hey I like the taste, its just a happy conicidence that both those products are pink......)

I really am so over hearing about teenage binge drinking. Taking premixed drinks away from them won't stop them. They'll buy vodka and mix it with Shweppes Lemon Lime and Bitters like we did when we were 16. Where there's a will there's a way, and why should adults like me be punished and have our drinks taken away!

Transgender man/woman pregnant

Whoa this story is bizarre. Just......I don't even know....

Pregnant Man Due in July

A man is reportedly pregnant with a baby girl.

US man Thomas Beatie and his wife were expecting their first child in July, according to US news service TransWorldNews.

Beatie, from the state of Oregon, was born a woman but had a sex change in which he had chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy, but no change to his reproductive organs, TransWorldNews said.

He stopped taking testosterone injections to get pregnant, Beatie reportedly wrote in an article for The Advocate, a magazine for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender readers.

Doctors had refused to treat Beatie, including one that sent him to "the clinic's psychologist to see if we were fit to bring a child into this world and consulted with the ethics board of his hospital" , the article said.

Beatie admitted his situation "sparks legal, political and social unknowns", TransWorldNews said.

Buffy Episode Spiked for Steamiest Scene

A scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer between James Marsters (Spike) and Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy) has been voted the Steamiest Love Scene on TV.
I'm not sure who voted exactly, it doesn't really supply that info. Other shows including Melrose Place, Grey's Anatomy and Lost also rated a mention.
I do remember Spike and Buffy being hot together (or should it be Hott) but from memory I wouldn't really have rated it the hottest scene. *sigh* I do miss Buffy....
Best episode EVER has to be the Musical "Once More With Feeling".

Here are some interesting factoids on this episode for those of you playing at home

• The episode was nominated for an Emmy Award, but, due to a misprint, was left off the official ballot sent out to voters. This was fixed with an addendum, but it was too late, as many voters had already returned their ballots. The episode, and Buffy along with it, are almost as famous for not winning an Emmy Award as other shows are for winning one.
• 
  
• The art for the CD — also used as cover for related items, such as the script book, the DVD and the poster — is by popular comic book artist Adam Hughes
• 
  
• This is the longest episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer ever — 50 minutes long, as opposed to the usual 42 minutes.
• Joss Whedon gained lots of musical inspiration from musicals such as the rock-edged Rent by Jonathan Larson. Whedon has said that the song "Walk Through the Fire" partly came from the line "Walking through fire without a burn" from the Rent song "I Should Tell You".
• During the "I'll Never Tell" number, Anya wears a red version of the bra and petticoat that Susan Sarandon wore during the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
• Joss Whedon discovered his actors could sing during a wine-charged Shakespeare reading at his house. He later fashioned his songs around each actor's ability and amount of comfort with their talent. This is why Alyson Hannigan and Michelle Trachtenberg only sing a few sparse lines in this episode; Trachtenberg says she had an agreement with Joss Whedon that she would "sing as little as possible and dance a whole lot".^[2]
• Anthony Stewart Head also has some musical experience. He played the lead role of Frank-n-Furter in a British production of The Rocky Horror Show
• All the actors sing their own parts without having another singer dubbing their voices (although for "What You Feel", Michelle Trachtenberg had to dub her own voice during post-production when her lines proved to be unclear).
• Joss Whedon had originally planned to have Buffy's rhythmically complex song "Something to Sing About" dubbed by professional vocalist Jewel, but Sarah Michelle Gellar stepped up to the challenge for the climactic number.
• All the regular cast are featured in significant solos except Alyson Hannigan (Willow), who had asked Whedon to limit her singing role. In response, Whedon gave Willow an amusing, fourth-wall breaking line for one of her three short solo parts: "I think this line's mostly filler" (Hannigan's reluctance to sing had actually been made part of her character, as was shown in 2 first-season episodes) Interestingly I always assumed Hannigan couldn't sing, and that's why she was given so few lines.
  
• Amber Benson said in an interview that Joss caught her by surprise when he scored her song "Under your Spell" slightly higher than her normal range because he was sure she could handle it.

I love this episode so much. I might try to buy the CD.

Can't dance a different way.....

Ricki Lee Coulter's new song and video "Can't sing a different Song" has me feeling "Can't Act a Different Way" and "Can't Appeal to Wider Audience".
In a music video that I find echoes her last one, I think she looks terrible! She's wearing essentially the same thing, a spangly dress and big dangly gold earrings, except she looked TEN times better in the first video, where she wears black, this dress in gold, not flattering.
Here is the newest one

And the older one, which I actually really liked, and even had a little storyline

Toward the end of the latest video she changes into a black & dull gold tight dress, and looks like she's wearing fat-suckin underpants underneath. Which in itself, is fine of course (hell I have fat-suckin underpants myself that get an occasional airing) but as someone once said to me, where does the fat go? In this case? Straight to her hips. This dress looks shocking on her!
"Can't sing a different Song" also features lots of striding purposefully from the back of the dance group to the front, boobs jiggling. Her dancing in this one is pathetic. I think they need to hire a different artistic director for her next video.

There are ways, and there are WAYS

A COUNCIL in Newcastle has taken the extraordinary step of stacking two empty shipping containers on a clifftop to spoil water views for householders suspected of illegally cutting down trees.

Daily Telegraph

I love this. I think its a great idea. The residents are complaining of being treated like children, and the council agrees. I think its fantastic.
The rest of the article features quotes from angry residents bleating about how unfair it is, but I say sucked in. They may not have all down the chopping, but you can bet they're all enjoying reaping the rewards. At least they were. You can bet more people know who did it than are letting on as well, its how these things go.

EW!!! Sorry you're dead Dad, have some titties

A MAN hired a stripper to perform at the funeral of his father - who happened to have a fondness for gentlemen's clubs, according to reports from Taiwan.

Taiwanese newspaper the United Daily News reported that Cai Jinlai had been promised a stripper for his funeral if he lived to 100.

Jinlai was 103 when he died – reportedly leaving behind more than 100 “descendants”.

.....

According to reports, the exotic dancer performance at the funeral lasted 10 minutes.

Oh god the disgustingness! Seriously! Imagine being at that funeral, imagine being the stripper! She danced around the coffin, which surely dooms her to hell.

*by Hell I refer not to the biblical hell of never ending pain and torture, but social hell of extreme impoliteness..

Hey I disabled comment verification Re.
Be happy.

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out! Certainly, which way did you come in?

I bet this doctor is regretting his actions, now that its gone to court....

A SELF-CONFESSED footy fanatic is appealing a landmark ruling that upheld his sacking for taking the day off work to watch AFL legend Kevin Sheedy coach his last game for Essendon.
Mr Anderson, 27, obtained a medical certificate after telling a doctor, Eric Salter, that he wanted to see Sheedy coach his last game - against the West Coast Eagles - in Perth on September 1 last year.
He was warned by Crown not to take sick leave to attend the game, but flew to Perth, later insisting he had been suffering "emotional distress" at the thought of missing the match.
Mr Anderson told The Australian last night that he was "very disappointed" by the decision and had filed an appeal. "I wouldn't have taken the day off (through sick leave) had Dr Salter not written the certificate and Dr Salter and I still think he wrote the certificate on valid grounds. The court didn't see it that way ... "it's not as if I went to the doctor and told him I had diarrhoea and then went off to the footy. I was upfront with my situation and I still got done. I lost my job."

I mean come on. This story was run on news.com.au under Australia's sickie tradition "under threat". Of course it should be under threat! It shouldn't exist! Ever since Bob Hawke famously said 'Any boss who sacks a worker for not turning up today is a bum.’ there has been almost an enshrined "right" to chuck a sickie.

Lets look at this turn of phrase for a moment.
To "chuck a sickie" - take the day off sick from work when you're perfectly healthy
Other phrases with "chuck"? To chuck a tantrum, to chuck a spaz or a wobbly. Yep, its all above board guys....

What an idiot this guy is to think that he could have this overturned going to court. Sick leave is there for a reason. Annual Leave is there for such frivolities as deciding you don't want to go to work on this particular day, you want to go to the footy instead. Can you imagine what sort of horrible precedent would have been set if the magistrate HAD overturned the termination and re-instated him?

When I was at school, there was a girl in the year below us, Nicki, that seemed to have lots of private tutoring type sessions with the Head English teacher, Mr Sinclair. There were of course whispers about something sordid going on, but no one really beleived any of it at the time, we were just high school students trying to spice up our day.
After we left school however it was revealed (on the NEWS) that they were in fact having an affair, that did start when we were watching them through the windows (ok that bit sounds creepy, but I have distinct memories of walking past classrooms with side windows and noticing them, time and time again).
This may seem like a total deviation from the above story, but go with me-

SO they ended up on A Current Affair etc, there was quite a furore at the time, I think they may have even scored a cover of SMH-which I bet she never wanted THAT to be how she became front page news.
Now I don't care much whether they got together or not, young love/old love/new love/illicit love, each to their own. One outcome of this however was that Mr Sinclair was removed from the school during our final year in a shroud of secrecy. Again with the rumours about Nicki, hotly contested by some of the girls in my year who had him as a teacher and worshipped the ground he walked on. He was quite a good teacher.
As students we asked other teachers what had happened and we were told he'd taken "Administrative leave" and was working at the Dept of Education HQ "for a while". All this while he had 2-3 Year 12 English classes he was taking, not exactly ideal conditions for your teacher to be yanked out of class.
However an extraordinary precedent was set in the aftermath of this by the Workers Compensation Commission:

...the recent decision of the Workers Compensation Commission awarding Sinclair generous benefits, you would think he was the victim.

It makes for surreal reading. The compensation arbitrator, Bruce McManamey, found that Sinclair suffered a "psychological injury" because of the way the Department of Education handled the allegation that he had developed a "close personal relationship with a student".

McManamey awarded him $28,000 in back pay to the date of his sacking last August plus $317.20 a week from January 21 this year "to date and continuing".

McManamey complained that it(Edu Dept) had "not sought to tender any of the material which formed the basis of the investigation". He said it was a difficult investigation because Nicki would not co-operate "and in fact denied the allegations".

McManamey said Sinclair was treated unreasonably because he was told only that he had "developed a close personal relationship with a student", which Sinclair found "quite confusing". "There are many relationships between teachers and students which could be described as close and personal which nonetheless are not improper conduct," McManamey wrote.

The decision to transfer Sinclair to non-teaching duties during the investigation was also "not reasonable". He "was placed in the position of not being able to assist Ms Shackle in what was for her a personally very difficult time".

A large part of the evidence tendered were emails between the lovers, which I won't share as they turn my stomach to think of Mr Sinclair as writing them. However Sinclair denied they were written by him, they have no signature and it is not an email address associated with him.

I don't think I'm alone in thinking its patently ridiculous for this to occur.

The affair has since ended, with Nicki gaining a new boyfriend and going overseas for a spell. Sinclair hasn't seen a penny of the money since as its still wrapped up in appeals, and he's not allowed to teach ever again.

I heard a rumour his wife might take him back, I don't necessarily think that would be a bad idea.

Ummm....guys? *wave* Over here for joining the rest of the civilised world...

Finally, Dutch say animal sex illegal

AFTER two years of debate, the Dutch Parliament voted unanimously yesterday to make sex with animals a crime.
Sex with animals and making "animal pornography" now carries a penalty of up to six months jail.
Current Dutch law only forbids bestiality when animals are found to have been mistreated. The pro-business VVD party and the Party for the Animals opposed the Bill but voted in favour anyway.

Uhh....good stuff guys....why'd it take you so long to get with the program? And people say New Zealand has it the wrong way....

Fugfessions of me

Ok, so they Fugged this dress today on Isla Fisher. And I must say I know its extrememly kooky, and a costume for her new Movie, Confessions of a Shopaholic, but I really like it! I will Disclaimer this by saying I do NOT like the snow leopard shoulder shrug, and I could give the gloves a miss, except I think they dress would look even kookier without them. Perhaps have them in pink!?

I will also interject here that I really like how Isla Fisher looks here, admittedly Wedding Crashers replayed on tv the other night, and who doesn't love her character in that. Anyone anyone? I hear nothing, ok accepted, Gloria is hilariously loveable. Motion Passed.

I don't often disagree with the Fug gurls, but sometimes, I just have to say, NO. As in, NO I DO like this outfit.
Which brings me to my secret.

Every year the Oscars roll around and they do "Best Dresses of the Oscars" and "Worst dresses of the Oscars" for all previous years. Every year without fail, on the Worst dressed list, Bjork's Swan dress makes an appearance, with a mention of the egg-bag.

{But I've always liked this dress!}

I know its weird and when she "layed" her egg it was bizarre and everything, but I've just always liked it!
*shame*
Maybe I'm losing my taste?

Too hard too soon? Is that even possible?

I worry (ok, infrequently) that I've peaked too early sometimes.
Eight years ago, I started, a little chocolate, a little milk, (a lot of) sugar.
I slowly graduated to cappuccino, enjoying the chocolate on the foam with my spoon. Gradually I came to loathe the foam though, spurning it in favour of its milky sister, the Flat White. Occasionally I asked for chocolate on my minimal foam, to rekindle the days of old.

But I soon tired of the flat white too, especially if it was too hot to drink. I started asking for my takeaway "not too hot" and learnt this translates to "warm" in barista.
I made friends with the coffee shop near my store, "warm skim flat white with 1". Day in, day out, I changed stores and my order came with me, making new barista friends along the way.
But it would go cold, even though I had made the effort to ask for it warm so I could drink it right away. It was too big, even a "small".

Before I knew it, my interest in the "small flat white warm skim with 1" was waning. I was flirting with a second shot, but it wasn't enough to hold my interest. I needed something new, something different.

I discovered- the macchiato.

We became instant friends. I was nervous at first, it seemed like a big change, much bigger than any other step I'd taken. Once I started though, I was hooked, I couldn't get enough. I didn't feel bloated and full if I had two in one sitting!

Have I gone too hard too early though? Where is there left to go? Single Espresso? Double espresso? What hope is there for me......

Stockton Beach-with puddles!

From our recent trip to Salamander Bay. Before we blew the clutch on the car.

Bowie for president?

Enough already!

Slave? Crazy? Love?

Is it just me, or does this story in today's paper- Woman Stuck on Toilet for 2 years

US authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years - so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police.

Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple, in Wichita, Kansasn said it appeared the 35-year-old woman's skin had grown around the seat.

She initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

"We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital," Whipple said. "The hospital removed it."

Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman's 36-year-old boyfriend.

"She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body," Whipple said. "It is hard to imagine. ... I still have a hard time imagining it myself."

He told investigators he brought his girlfriend food and water, and asked her every day to come out of the bathroom.

"And her reply would be, 'Maybe tomorrow,'" Whipple said. "According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom."

The boyfriend called police on February 27 to report that "there was something wrong with his girlfriend," Whipple said, adding that he never explained why it took him two years to call.

Police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh. She was "somewhat disoriented," and her legs looked like they had atrophied, Whipple said.

"She said that she didn't need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave," he said.

She was reported in fair condition at a hospital in Wichita, about 150 miles southeast of Ness City. Whipple said she has refused to cooperate with medical providers or law enforcement investigators.

Authorities said they did not know if she was mentally or physically disabled.

Police have declined to release the couple's names, but the house where authorities say the incident happened is listed in public records as the residence of Kory McFarren. No one answered his home phone number.

The case has been the buzz of Ness City, said James Ellis, a neighbour.

"I don't think anybody can make any sense out of it," he said.

Ellis said he had known the woman since she was a child but that he had not seen her for at least six years.

He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up. At one time the woman worked for a long-term care facility, he said, but he did not know what kind of work she did there.

"It really doesn't surprise me," Ellis said. "What surprises me is somebody wasn't called in a bit earlier."

AP

Remind anyone else of the moveie Secretary? For those of you unfamiliar, the main character played by Maggie Gyllenhaal, in a bid to prove her love, sits chained to her Boss's desk for three days, even urinating in her seat.
(If you haven't seen this movie, there's SO MUCH more to it, than this tidbit. I recommend it-good movie.)

I admit, the woman in the story above was at least a little more practical. I wonder if this is a similar circumstance, or whether in fact, she's just bat-shit crazy.

TV stations are too clever! I'm a demographic!

"There are four sexes in Austalia: male, female, old folks and the rich. That's how the viewers are seen by the programmers and advertisers who decide the content of Australia's favourite medium.....

Before studying these charts, bear in mind that "old folks" means people over 55 and "the rich" means people earning more than $80,000 a year (in Occupational Groups 1 and 2, to use the ratings jargon):

Women enjoy: So You Think You Can Dance Australia; Grey's Anatomy; Desperate Housewives; Bondi Rescue; RPA; House; Cashmere Mafia; The Biggest Loser; Brothers And Sisters; Samantha Who; Women's Murder Club; All Saints; Medium.

Men enjoy: The cricket; Underbelly; SYTYCDA; Family Guy; Terminator; The Force; The Simpsons; House; Top Gear; Lost; Numb3rs; Good News Week.

Old folks enjoy: Doc Martin; Dalziel And Pascoe; Miss Marple; Lewis; Four Corners; RSPCA Animal Rescue; The Real Seachange; Border Security; A Year With The Royal Family; The Bill; The Zoo; It Takes Two.

The rich enjoy: SYTYCDA; Underbelly; Spicks And Specks; Grey's Anatomy; Desperate Housewives; Kitchen Nightmares USA; CSI; RPA; Cashmere Mafia; House; Dirty Sexy Money; Jekyll."

So, according to this, my viewing habits make me both Female and Rich. Not exclusively, but in the main (eg I hate Medium and enjoy Numb3rs).

So clever are the programmers, that in the not-too-distant-future, Gladiators is re-starting on Channel 7, much to my excitement. This was always going to be must-see TV for me.
Alas though! I discover that it will be screened at the same time as the weekly Biggest Loser weigh-in! NOOoooooooo!
Damn me for being so predictable in my viewing!

- - - - O-Y- - - G

14-across : Having both male and female characteristics

Its not Hermaphrodite, so I consult Wikipedia (as you do, hey its not cheating, its learning)

I type "female and male" into the search box.

Scroll scroll, HELLO! 7th article?
The Janice Dickinson Modelling Agency with 58.9% relevance.
LMAO Is this a reference that she's had too much work done?

luke and lauren's wedding

luke and lauren's wedding, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Yay drunken phonepix! LOL

Yay!

L&L8, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Married finally!
Congrats to Luke & Lauren on joining the club :)

No wait, you're still going to hell for that joint when you were 16

There are apparently “new sins which have appeared on the horizon of humanity as a corollary of the unstoppable process of globalisation”. The Vatican newspaper has published a new list also
In addition to Brad Pitt's old favorites-

• lust
• gluttony
• avarice
• sloth
• anger
• envy
• pride.

There is now also the following to worry about

Bishop Gianfranco Girotti, head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, the Vatican body which oversees confessions and plenary indulgences....
...You offend God not only by -stealing, blaspheming or coveting your neighbour’s wife, but also by
ruining the environment,
carrying out morally debatable scientific experiments,
or allowing genetic manipulations which alter DNA or compromise embryos,” he said.

Bishop Girotti said that mortal sins also included
taking or dealing in drugs,
and social injustice which caused poverty or “the excessive accumulation of wealth by a few”.

He said that two mortal sins which continued to preoccupy the Vatican were abortion, which offended “the dignity and rights of women”, and paedophilia, which had even infected the clergy itself and so had exposed the “human and institutional fragility of the Church”.

So, really, there's no hope....

*insert Baywatch theme song, and bouncing boobs*

Jaason Simmons, aka "Logan the aussie lifeguard" from Baywatch, has outed himself.
He plans to marry his lover of eight months and adopt an African orphan.
Well I'll be.
(Look at The Hoff, he looks so happy! And Yasmine, so smoldering)

His website actually features a photo gallery of him, Which they really need to update so it shows in the Google Image search. This TV Hits picture really sums it up I think LOL But this one, is gold. And by that I don't just mean the tie.
Look at the hair. Thats a crime against something. So 90210.

Games can waste your life!

So waste some time with me...

Roly Poly Roll Poly through 30 dizzying mazes.

Play this free game now!!

Awww, we're so pretty (and grainy!)

Dani's 21st races, originally uploaded by dataceptionist.

Us, Drunk after the races (and after dinner I might add)
Taken on my phone, hence, terrible quality.

Double Cross - James Patterson ****

One of the wonderfully predictable (in a good way) books I love to rip through. The latest from Patterson in the Alex Cross series (the same series that features the books and movies Kiss the Girls and Along Came a Spider). I love James Patterson, he writes great book. I do however wonder whether because he's been so good for so long, he;s doing himself a disservice by continuing to churn books out. He now collaborates with other authors, resulting in say six books a year with his name on the cover. The average crime fiction writer will release one book a year generally
(feeling sorry for the people {like hah} that got into the Sue Grafton Alphabet murder series, they're up to T finally! Sue Grafton must be rolling in it, she started with A for Alibi in 1983!)
but is Patterson flooding his own market?

Hmmm.... Anyway, Patterson has widened his character scope in his writing, he now has two series, the Alex Cross and the Women's Murder Club, because even though Cross is still kicking, he's getting a bit boring. You can only be targeted by serial killers for so long before you're using all the same material.

So the Women's Murder Club series is up to book 7, and it kicked off nicely. The main character, a female detective called Lindsay Boxer was a refreshing change to the masculinity of the Alex Cross series. I was pretty excited when I heard they were making it into a TV series. But just like the disappointment when a book is made into a movie, this just hasn't cut the mustard for me. I like Angie Harmon, I do, I thought she was great in Law and Order. But she's all wrong as Lindsay for me. *sigh* It will be interesting to see if that series survives in Oz.

4 / 5

TV's top 25 Insults

BlackAdder- "The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr Brain has long since departed, hasn't he, Perce?"

Basil Fawlty - Fawlty Towers.
To Sybil: "Oh dear, what happened? Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? Hmm? Or did you have to talk to all your friends for so long that you didn't have time to perm your ears?"

Roseanne Conner - Roseanne.
To husband Dan: "Your idea of romance is popping the can away from my face."

Carla - Cheers.
Cliff: "I'm ashamed God made me a man."
Carla: "I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it either."

Jim Royle - The Royle Family.
Nana: "Is this hat too far forward?"
Jim: "No. We can still see your face."

Malcolm Tucker - The Thick Of It.
To a junior minister: "All these hands all over the place! You were like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra! It was like watching John Leslie at work!"

Patsy Stone - Absolutely Fabulous.
"One more facelift on this one and she'll have a beard."

Inspector Monkfish - The Fast Show.
To a bereaved woman: "I realise this must be a very difficult time for you, so put your knickers on and go and make me a cup of tea."

No Offence - The Fast Show.
"I notice you're not wearing a wedding ring which, given your age, means you're divorced or a lesbian."

Rupert Rigsby - Rising Damp.
To lodger Alan, who complains his room is too cold to study in: "The only thing you study is your navel. You even shave lying down."

Nan - The Catherine Tate Show.
Describing an encounter with an overweight hospital volunteer: "She said to me last time, 'You look bored, Mrs Taylor. I've got three words for you: Barbara Taylor Bradford.'
So I said, 'Yeah? I've got three words for you too: calorie controlled diet."'

Statler and Waldorf - The Muppet Show.
Statler: "Wake up, you old fool, you slept through the show."
Waldorf: "Who's a fool? You watched it."

The Professor - The Mary Whitehouse Experience.
"I have here a copy of your book, Origins of the Crimean War. It smells of poo."
"That's because it's been inside your mum's bra."

Dr Perry Cox - Scrubs.
Dr Elliot Reid: "I don't think you understand the severity of the situation here. I am dangerously close to giving up men altogether."
Dr Cox: "Then on behalf of men everywhere - and I do mean everywhere, including the ones in little mud huts - let me be the first to say thanks and hallelujah."

Dr Gregory House - House. "You can think I'm wrong, but that's no reason to stop thinking."

Gary Strang - Men Behaving Badly.
"Let's face it, Tony, the only way you're gonna be in there is if you're both marooned on a desert island and she eats a poisonous berry or a nut which makes her temporarily deaf, dumb, stupid, forgetful and desperate for sex."

Arnold Rimmer - Red Dwarf.
"Look, we all have something to bring to this discussion. But I think from now on the thing you should bring is silence."

Larry David - Curb Your Enthusiasm.
"Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate."

Sam Tyler - Life On Mars.
To Gene Hunt: "I think you've forgotten who you're talking to."
Sam: "An overweight, over-the-hill, nicotine-stained, borderline-alcoholic homophobe with a superiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with male bonding?"

**I would like to add my own from The Young Ones
Rik: "Why don't you like me?"
Vyv: "Because you're a complete bastard and we all hate you"**
Hilarious show, devvo that it didn't make the list.
{From memory, and couldn't find online to verify}

The 185 Manly-City

Have you ever noticed the way people arrive at a bus stop, and they check the timetable in this really ultra casual, not really checking, kind of way? As if to say, oh yeah, I catch buses all the time and stuff, I'm just you know, re-confirming really that the bus will be coming when I expect it.

Its like everyone is trying to impress all the other bus patrons already waiting that they're worthy of catching the bus.
Or maybe that they're secretly being filmed, and that they're pretending they're not really catching a bus at all, and they'll jump on at the last minute.

Biggest Loser

I was an avid watcher last season, and this season has proved to be just as fantastic. I have even managed to do some sit ups a few nights whilst watching. Yay me.

Every show on TV has a website now. Its a bit tedious really, they're always going on and on about the websites. I'm actually one of these hopeless people too that never remembers to go to websites that I might be interested in, I forget. I come to work and I read the same 15 or whatever a week, and unless I need to Google something, I read mostly the same stuff.

I was interested enough however, in trying to get tickets for So You Think You Can Dance Australia, that I went to their website. It helped that the website was easy to remember also. I hate websites for shows when they can't be bothered paying for the domain, or working around it, so it's all www.channelwhateverblah/blahsection/actual show name + some weird letters.
Just give it to me in the www.showname.com-possibly .au format guys. (Yeah I'm looking at you Channel 9 and 7, you're so intent on keeping your respective ties to MSN and Yahoo you're confusing the hell outta me!)

Anywho, because I had a REASON to go to the SYTYCDance website, I was enticed to later click the Biggest Loser link to see what it had to offer. I wasn't really expecting much, mostly links to join the Biggest Loser Club, which you have to pay for. I was surprised to find a whole section on Training Tips in video form from the Trainers, which I've found awesome, and tried to work into my workouts already. Yay!
I'm trying to watch them all, but have to be careful cos we're not meant to watch anything that's streams through the net at work.....

I think this season has been extremely responsible in the face of criticisms that it doesn't provide a realistic view of weight loss for people that are obese. Several people have discussed with me at least that there's been a notable increase in the nutritional information provided through the show. I read somewhere that while "everyone loves watching fat people exercise until they throw up" (umm, hello? Not me) the show was lacking other info. Now at least, they're providing realistic ways to help real people, along with the people in the show. You know they got nutritional info previously, you just never got to hear any of it. So now I'm trying to get as much info as possible.

Getting back to criticism of providing a realisitic view to weightloss, I am really angered that Cat White, a previous Biggest Loser contestant, has become the face of Celebrity Slim, a milkshake-meal replacement company. How she can endorse products like "Fat burner Tablets" is beyond belief IMHO. I think as someone who was obese, the last message she should be sending is that these milkshake/soup diets are the answer, instead of healthy eating and exercise.