Paper Envy


Decided I would take myself to breakfast Saturday morning. Woke late(ish), and went to the gym, M was working so I had only myself to amuse. By the time I finished a good session at the gym, I was nearing lunch, but feeling like breakfast, so went to Coffee Club, which does all-day breakfast, then thought I would do some leisurely shopping afterward.

I had initally intended to read the paper whilst at the cafe, but when I arrived all the national papers were "out" at other tables and I wasn't as interested in the local paper as the World News. I did that hemming and hawing thing, thinking
"do I REALLY need a paper?"...
..."oh well I could play with my phone instead"
"don't be daft, you're not at a bar, sipping a vodka, waiting for a friend, you can't play with your phone while you eat"...
..."oh don't be such a ninny, just go and BUY a paper"
"oh but the newsagents is all the way over there"...
..."but then I'll lose my place in line"
In the end, I walked out of the line, and went and bought the Saturday edition of the SMH. If you're not a reader/buyer of the SMH Weekend edition, its a monster paper. So much so, it actually sits in two piles at the newsagents (and I almost walked out with only one section, I wonder how many people get ripped off without knowing what they're missing).

I got back to Coffee Club, ordered and sat down with my paper. I flicked through the sections, before deciding which to start with (Barack Obama piece), and set the rest of the paper down on the other side of the table. As I did this, it was lunch time pretty much (I did admit it was lateish) and there were increasingly more people taking seats and placing orders etc etc. As I read, I slowly realised that a LOT of the tables settling in were eyeing off my paper. One woman who was rifling through the stack near the counter, kept glancing at me, almost glaring!
Since I wasn't sporting a swastika or swear word on my t-shirt, or wearing hot pants and hooker heels, I can think of no other reason for her behaviour!
After that, I felt compelled to look up everytime I noticed someone near the newspapers, and they were always kind of looking my way, coveting my paper!
I felt like standing up and shouting "I PAID FOR THIS! IT'S MINE YOU BASTARDS!"

In the end I didn't, but I was terrified to move after that. I didn't want to leave my paper unattended, for fear someone would pounce on it, but I didn't want to take it with me to the counter, that would look ridiculous.
So where I would probably have ordered another coffee and continued to sit reading, I didn't, as CC only operate under "Order at Counter" not table service.

After I finished eating, I carefully packed up my paper, taking care to make it look neat, and tucked it under my arm, scurrying away out the side door, avoiding eye contact with anyone.

6 kindred spirits ~ This bugs them too!:

Reanan said...
May 26, 2008 9:00 PM

What the?

What strange, strange behaviour.
Almost shaming your paper hogging - except it was yours to begin with.

I've never had this happen to me, usually because I am with book most places so if I find my hands idle it's book time (it's book, it's book time!)

Perhaps Coffee Club papers need to come with small neon signs so they shame the real paper hogs?

Reanan said...
May 26, 2008 9:00 PM

ps; did you really write ninny on your blog? lol

Dataceptionist said...
May 27, 2008 11:56 AM

Yes exactly re.

And I was keen to catch up on world events on this day, rather than book as would be my normal routine.

Hahaha is there something amiss with "ninny"?

K said...
May 27, 2008 12:46 PM

Ninny is up there with irksome. I'm personally a fan of both.

I'd have left the paper ont he table with my bag or jumper on it, almost hoping that someone tried to take it so I could point out the theft and request my paper back. That'll serve them right.

Eca said...
May 27, 2008 1:14 PM

Yeah this has happening to me in Philly too, but in any case you'll just have to practise ignoring them with your self righteousness of paper purchasing. Or I tend to sit the paper with all my things on a chair or similar so people get the hint. Or think I'm going OTT on the paper theivery....

Dataceptionist said...
May 27, 2008 1:45 PM

I considered both these options K & Eca before rejected them into the "possibly I'm over-reacting" camp. Hahahaha and yes Eca I was also concerned about this frame of mind! Like, bug off everyone!

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